Bonnie Fogg

[Sterling]

Bonnie, I have been thinking about you and Larry and keeping you always in my prayers. I read Charlene's post thru tears and thank her for sharing her last private moments with Gary. God Bless all of you.... you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[SunQuest]

Bonnie,

I am reading your posts and thinking and praying for you daily.

Please know that you withholding the timeframe is the right thing to do. He knows he is terminal, but no one, not a doctor, or even you knows when it will happen. There is only one that knows, and when He calls, He calls. It is all in His time.

My grandfather was given 2 to 6 months. The doctors were wrong. It was a long 2 years. But, he could have just as easily went the following week. One never knows.

Until then, you are doing everything right. There are no right or wrong things at this time when it comes to you carring for the person you love. You have a heart of gold and you will know in your heart at that time what is right. Please don't ever second guess yourself. I know you are keeping Larry comfortable, and continueing to do so and showing him your love and courage will give him the support he needs.

Also, please let Larry know that you are ok with him deciding when he is ready to go. Give Larry the permission to leave when he can not take any more. This sounds like such a small thing, but sometimes people hang on and suffer longer than they should because they are worried about the ones they leave behind. Let Larry know that you will be ok and that you will dearly miss him, but that you can make it.

As far as the DNR, go ahead and give yourself permission to sign it. It doesn't mean the end, but it means that you are not going to see him suffer a fate that is more painful than letting him go be with God. Again, it is not your decision when he should go. It is between Larry and God.

Remember, you have many people here that will listen day or night and will help at a moment's notice.

And yes, hospice is a wonderful wonderful organization. They have helped my family tremendously. They were there when we couldn't remember what we needed to do even though we kept a diary of everything so that we could even try to keep our heads screwed on straight. They were there when it was over to hold our hands, let us cry on their shoulders, and to tell us that we did a good job. They sent us cards and flowers. They were part of our small family. Our family has needed their help 2 times, and with both experiences I don't think we could have made it without them.

And Bonnie, remember, you know there is more than life on this earth. You know that Larry will be there and watching over you always. So remember, talk, laugh, enjoy the good moments. Treasure them always. And always remember that it is not goodbye, but see you later.

Love and light.

Everyone, please light and keep the candles burning...

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candle...ng&gi=bfogg

 

[Marylou]

BUMP!!!

 

[bluetaterbaby]

My thoughts and prayers are there Ms Bonnie. Wonderful people on this forum have shared very emotional and trying times in their lives. I thank them for sharing with you and all of us. I can't imagine the heartbreak they feel; but, I thank God for continuing to bring them comfort and healing as they share such personal accounts. God bless you all.

Joan

 

[Barbie]

Bonnie, my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and Larry. Take care!

Barbie

 

[dreamlandnh]

You both are in my thoughts.

 

[HGFarm]

Bonnie, I have not been here to read the last few days and am so sad about the latest news. My prayers and heart is with you both!

I also went through some of the same things that Charlene mentioned with my Mom. She was not supposed to make it through the night when she was admitted to the hospital, but did, and in fact recovered enough to go home for a month, and that month was the sweetest time we had with her, though the toughest. She also though saw and talked to her best friend, father, etc... that have been looong gone. She didnt remember any of it when she 'came back to us' but it was very difficult to go through. In the end though, she knew that I was there because she would try to respond to my voice, though she couldnt. My uncle was the same- I could see by the monitors that when I spoke, his breathing and pulse, etc... would go up, but he could not respond... so they DO know you are there!!

I would not have done anything like that in front of him either, and if he still has faith that he is going to hang on for a while, that is OK!! People have done amazing things!!

I agree too, he is trying to be strong for you. My Dad was the same, but he knew, and I realized later he really did know, but would not let on to anyone.

Hospice is wonderful and we found some absolutely amazing people there, a couple of which I swear were really angels visiting here, and I will never forget them.

Thinking of you and Larry- take care of yourself too- you can't be there for him if you are not up to par either and you dont want to get sick or anything and not be able to be there!

Love ya!!

 

[bfogg]

Thank you all ! I am continuing to put one foot in front of the other,and just doing what you gotta do!

Bless you all it helps to just come and read.

I am working as much as I can I have to. My daughter stays during the day so I can keep money coming in. Still doing readings and putting one foot in front of the other.

What a wonderful giving group you all are

Bonnie

 

[Shari]

I never know what to say..but I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and Prayers.

It is not easy,,, just make sure you take time to take care of yourself too. Easier said than done, I know.

My husband's father had liver and lung cancer... he wanted to pass away at home. They used a hospice too and my DH and is middle brother.. took care of him and their Mom.

<HUGS>

 

[woodnldy]

Bonnie, words are so inadequate at a time like you are going through. My prayers are with you and Larry and your daughter. Hospice was a great help to my family when my sister had cancer,and again when my father was last stage with Alzheimer's. They enabled mom and I to keep them at home and close until the end. Know that even tho I don't say much ,my prayers are with you daily. Love and Blessings, Cheryl

 

[lyn_j]

Bonnie, I have been tinking about you and Larry alot today...... You know that only part of Larry ends here... This is a terrible time for both of you but, maybe talking about after, making the passage easier..... I have a friend who was widowed at 48 She sat with her husband while he died holding his hand. She told him to walk thru the gate and watch for her and the rest of their children. They had burried a little daughter a couple years earlier.... He said to her he wanted to sleep where Debora was that night and she kissed him and told him to go. Her last words to him were, when you see us coming, you and Debora run to meet us."

I thought that was such a lovely story. Then she watched his breathing slpw and stop. What a beautiful passing.

Larry will be there for you..... praying for a peaceful heart to help ease his passing.

Lyn

 

[ozymandias]

Bonnie,

you and Larry will be carried deep in my heart. Take care of yourself too. (((HUGS)))

 

[Marylou]

BUMP!!!

 

[Charlene]

thinking about you, bon, and sending lots of hugs your way.

 

[funnyfarmnorth]

Bonnie, I am so sorry to hear about Larry. I lost my Husband 5 yrs ago to cancer after being together 35 yrs. It's different for everyone. My husband knew. We were told he had 90 days but he almost made a year. He didn't want to deal with the details of his condition and treatment so he let me. It gave me something to focus on and feel that I was doing something in such a hopeless situation. He just "visited" with the Drs. I believe his positive attitude made a difference. If Larry wants to believe there is hope,let him.It may help. He may also know but feel he is protecting you by not talking about it. Everyone says to stay strong and you will because you love him. Just remember to take care of you too. Find someone you can discuss the realities with when you need to. Take advantage of offers for help even if its only to get some rest while someone else visits with him. In the end I found comfort knowing we had that extra time and that he past quickly before the bad pain set in. He had a DNR too and honoring it was the tuffest thing I've ever had to do. I have enough good memories to last forever(and a few I'd still like to "discuss" with him). I'm lucky to have friends and family who still talk about him and share memories.So often people are afraid to,not wanting to upset you. For me it eases the missing him, knowing others do too. Enjoy want ever time you have with him. Everything else can wait. I'll keep you both in my prayers. Take care. Jane

 

[AppyLover2]

Thinking of you and Larry and hoping that whatever kind of day yesterday was, that today is better. It occurred to me that when friends tell you to stay strong it doesn't mean you can't take time for yourself. Please remember that it isn't necessary to be strong 24 hours a day. It's OK to have moments when you feel that you can't deal, or can't do more, and to just let your guard down for a while. Your strength will return because it's part of who you are.

God Bless.

 

[Marylou]

BUMP!!!

 

[Marylou]

BUMP!!!

 

[woodnldy]

Prayers and Blessings, One day at a time.

Love Cheryl

 

[LisaB Ozark]

Bonnie - Ron and I have been out of town for the last 6 days. I am so sorry. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Dont have any great words - just know we love you !!!

Lisa