I Need Help in Decision About Keeping My Mini

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1toadroad, I've reread this thread with interest because I'm also trying to decide if I should keep my newest mini Kingsley or give him back.
I've had him for 1 month. 7years old gelded at 6 years. Never been around mares until after he was gelded, so he doesn't show the stallion signs Cooper has. He was stalled next to other stallions where he learned aggression towards and from them. He doesn't like to be in close spaces with others and doesn't eat with others. He turns his butt to mine, will kick out but what I really don't like is that he will continue to back up chasing, threating Mint. He has connected once with her. She knows to keep her distance now. I talked with the previos owner yesterday and she informed me more of the his past. He is a sweetheart otherwise. So willing to please. I'm not sure he is a right fit here. I want a everyone gets along herd.
I miss my Hershey:) I don't like to make these decisions.
 
1toadroad, I've reread this thread with interest because I'm also trying to decide if I should keep my newest mini Kingsley or give him back.
I've had him for 1 month. 7years old gelded at 6 years. Never been around mares until after he was gelded, so he doesn't show the stallion signs Cooper has. He was stalled next to other stallions where he learned aggression towards and from them. He doesn't like to be in close spaces with others and doesn't eat with others. He turns his butt to mine, will kick out but what I really don't like is that he will continue to back up chasing, threating Mint. He has connected once with her. She knows to keep her distance now. I talked with the previos owner yesterday and she informed me more of the his past. He is a sweetheart otherwise. So willing to please. I'm not sure he is a right fit here. I want a everyone gets along herd.
I miss my Hershey:) I don't like to make these decisions.
I am sorry that you find yourself in a similar situation to mine and for the affect that it’s having on Mint. It is horrible to be in this position. I have had Cooper for 1-1/2 yrs. now, but things are not getting any better, as I hoped they would. As I have contemplated this decision for the last month, I have become super aware as to how unsettled my donkeys have become since I got the 2 boys. Rocky, the one I’m keeping is a bossy fellow, but fairly harmless. Cooper on the other hand seems to scare the girls. He’s fine about 80% of the time, but for that remaining 20% he is very aggressive and unrelenting. I have had a trainer working with him once a week for almost a year. His ground manners are solid and he’s pretty bombproof when haltered, but in all this time, he still doesn’t respect me or my space. My backyard use to be so “easy” for the equines and for me. Not anymore. I feel the tension the moment I walk through the gate to the barnyard. I need to do this for myself and my girls. I want us all to feel safe and relaxed again. I hope the decision you arrive at won’t take as long as it has taken me and I hope your resolve is better than mine😩
 
I sure do feel what you are going through. I'm sorry for that. Our barn should always be our happy place. They are my therapy. I think you made the right decision as difficult as it has been. I think I know what my answer should be but .... Sending you and your herd hugs.
Thank you and good luck with your decision.
 
If you give Kingsley back would you consider a youngster? A weanling or a yearling? Yes, they would be a little work to train at first but Mint would be in charge. I bet her maternal instincts would kick in and she would show them the ropes, they would probably bond faster. For me, it is easier to watch my main horses dominate the newbie than watching the newbie take over. And who doesn’t love a new baby! 💕💕 you would have a clean slate to work with 😍

Not saying that you couldn’t find the perfect older horse the same age as Mint, but you might have to go through a few to find the perfect match.

Wondering how’s Jeffery doing in the herd?
 
A difficult decision but you put time and thought into it, plus learning more about Cooper giving the rescue up to date information for the next family.

Stuart sounds like he could be a fun fit!
 
If you give Kingsley back would you consider a youngster? A weanling or a yearling? Yes, they would be a little work to train at first but Mint would be in charge. I bet her maternal instincts would kick in and she would show them the ropes, they would probably bond faster. For me, it is easier to watch my main horses dominate the newbie than watching the newbie take over. And who doesn’t love a new baby! 💕💕 you would have a clean slate to work with 😍

Not saying that you couldn’t find the perfect older horse the same age as Mint, but you might have to go through a few to find the perfect match.

Wondering how’s Jeffery doing in the herd?
I had not thought of a youngster. It does make sense. I just don't know. 😐

Jeffrey has come a long way in 2 weeks. I can walk up to him without him turning or running away most of the time. He seems to be getting along fine with Mint and Kingsley. He is easy going but he will threaten back at Kingsley if needed, as I have not seen Mint do that. Farrier comes Monday so we will see how that goes😳
 
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Don't beat yourself up. I bought the sweetest bred mare once and she was great with everyone for about 2 weeks. Then she started charging my driving gelding. Was crazy mean. I returned her to the breeder. It was heart breaking too. But move to better things. Beautiful new horse!
 
Yesterday was the big day. After a solid week of crying and beating myself up about deciding to send my mini, Cooper back to the rescue, I followed through and returned him. I did it for my 2 donk mares and Rocky my other mini rescue. I had Cooper moved out in the morning and took delivery of a new mini from a private seller yesterday afternoon, crying all throughout the process and second guessing my decision. Today I can’t believe how nice and calm my barn yard feels. The energy that Cooper put out was palpable. It appears that my little herd is more relaxed, in less than a day! I do feel guilty about him being back in a huge herd and without individual care, but he has so much potential, I know he’ll find his forever person, I just hope it’s soon.
Below is a photo of my mini. Not a great picture, but you get an idea as to what he looks like. I’m getting to know him a bit better before I come up with a name for him.
IMG_6265D.jpeg
 
What a hard decision to make. I empathize with you. I'm glad you can see a bit of relief with your mini herd, it is still hard to let go. Cooper will find his place with a wonderful human. Maybe get updates from the rescue.

Your new little guy is so cute. He looks little. I'm looking forward to hear what name you will pick. 🥰
 
Hard decision for sure. I can relate as I have a recently (9months) gelded colt (3yrs old) that is a rascal. He is smart and curious and plays very rough with everyone BUT my mare. She had to literally kick the stuff out of him when he first went into the pasture with she and my little colt. He does not mess with her AT ALL! If he looks her way, she goes into full mare mode with one look and he decides its not a good idea to mess with her. On the other hand my colt (Cody) is now 2 and I am going to geld him soon. He is double registered and has a wonderful, sweet disposition. He is about 30" with good conformation and I am thinking of possibly showing him and training him to cart. The one thing he does not have that my other gelding has is his SPIRIT. My rough gelding(Rowdy) is beautifully proud and naughty. He is going to need to have a good trainer and someone that is clear on boundaries. I separate him from the others every night because he wears my colt out from his roughness. I think you made a good decision. I hope this other guy works well with your herd. He is very pretty!
 
So far, so good. I can't believe that it's been about 10 months now since I returned Cooper and purchased Pepper. Pepper is a cutie. His personality is the complete opposite of Cooper's, he's super quiet, actually he is so quiet that he has almost no personality. The good thing is that my barn yard is now relaxed and calm and I'm no longer afraid to go out among my little herd. I wouldn't mind a bit more movement and horse play in my pasture, but I'll settle for this any day. The new one, Pepper, also drives, so I'm learning to drive, which I could have not imagined doing with Cooper. I hope you eventually have as good results as I have had. Good luck to you and your littles.
 
One place I boarded had a large pasture with a mixed herd and a smaller pasture that was affectionately called the "Bad Boy Pasture", for geldings who liked the mares too much. So it definitely happens! I think there were only two horses in there who actually acted on their "feelings" - the rest were mostly in there because they were getting the crap beat out of them by the big herd. But the two that needed to be in there NEEDED to be in there, and they didn't grow out of it.

You could hold off a bit and see if maybe this only happens when they are in heat or only in the spring (I think the first spring heat could be a little more intense for everyone than subsequent ones!) then maybe you could just separate him and his buddy from the mares during those times. But if it's an ongoing, constant issue or you're afraid someone will get hurt, then no need to feel guilty about finding him a more appropriate situation and getting a different horse that fits your setup better.
That "Bad Boy Pasture" sounds like quite the interesting setup!
 

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