My son, Hayden

[kingminihorses]

Hi everyone,

I just need to let off some stress and frustration, I hope you all dont mind. My son, Hayden, is 21 months old. He was born with bilateral Adductus Metatarsus (his feet turned inward and toes curled under when walking) and so he was a little late walking. It was understandable since he has to wear corrective shoes and so when he wasn't saying a word by 12-13 months we just figured he was going to be a little late since he was wasnt even walking yet. Well by 18 months I expressed my concerns to our doctor and was told its normal for boys to be behind. Although I agreed I still contacted our local ECI/child find and they came right out to screen him for a developmental delay. He qualified for services and we have worked with them for about 3 months now. It was suggested to get a hearing test done since he was Not mimmicking any words and rarely babbled(plus I have a family history of hearing impairment). Since our insurance is not good it took about a month to finally get a referral to the audiologist and have an appointment set!

That appointment was today and it has been a difficult day for me. The first thing they did was a 'pressure' test to check for fluid. His left ear was a 'flat line' which means that he has very little hearing if any in that ear. His right ear did show a small 'peak' so we know that he has some hearing in it. What was so heartbreaking was the next part of the test. We were taken to a sound proof room and sat in a chair with a speaker on each side. The lady called his name over and over and made different noises in the left speaker....he just sat in my lap, picking at his blanket. then she did the same thing in the right speaker and he just sat there still as can be looking at the toy car we brought. No response.

I could feel the tears coming at that point. The audiologist said that there really is no way to know if after the tube surgery he will have good hearing. I am sure that it will help a whole lot but it just sickens me that all this time I thought he was being needy and not talking was out of him not wanting to listen to me(now I know its because he can't!!!!

). Now I know why he crys so much, I would cry too I had no way of verbally communicating to anybody. I'm sorry, I just had to let this all out, I'm in tears now just writing it, I feel like a horrible mother. I'm sure things will work out and he'll be fine a few years from now, its just all so overwhelming at this point.

Thanks for listening. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, his tube surgery will be this time next month.

~Lindsey

A pic of the kids (Hayden on left and Hannah on right):

 

[RJRMINIS]

Lindsey,

{{{HUGS}}} I know how you feel, I pray the surgery goes well and can help him. My daughter lost her hearing, due to the chemotherapy she had at 18 months old, they didn't detect the hearing loss till she was in Kindergarten......I just thought she was ignoring when we would tell her something, and when I learned she needed hearing aids in both ears, I felt the same way, I felt terrible for the times I yelled at her, and she probably never heard me tell her no, or to stop what she was doing, but when I yelled she realized something was wrong.......

I held her back and she repeated kindergarten and did 10X better the second go around. So I really know how you felt sitting there as they tell you they cannot hear or what they hear( my daughter will hear only parts of certain sounds without her hearing aids) BUT she still has trouble with high pitches, and in crowds with alot of backround noise.

I figure it was a small price to pay for curing her cancer, but something she will have to live with the rest of her life, since the chemo destroyed the hair follicles in the ear drum.

If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

And remember you are NOT a horrible mother....hang in there!!

By the way both your little ones are adorable!!!!

 

[MiniforFaith]

Lindsey,

My goodness, you have every right to be upset.. My eyes just watered up when I was reading about your son, I couldn't imagine actually being there when the test was done. I would have lost it.. Sending prayers

your way for your son. Hopefully tubes will help. I have had drs not listen to me before with my kids and i went ahead and called around anyways. So glad you went and got someone else involved. And don't blame yourself, you didn't know.. Sending hugs your way..

edited to add you have a very handsome little man there and a very pretty little girl..

 

[sfmini]

Good for you for sticking to your guns and getting him tested.

Now, get a book to teach yourself how to teach him sign language. A lot of parents are teaching their non verbal (too young) babies some signs so they can communicate earlier before they can talk.

Look for a book geared to teaching babies as there are a few basic signs that will really lower his frustration level, like a sign for more, cracker, etc. They learn fast, and it is fun. My little cousin, who is autistic uses some basic signs as at 4 he is just now able to talk a bit and make sense.

Good luck!

 

[Basketmiss]

What adorable little ones you have there

it made me cry reading this and I feel your pain....

My son was sick with ear infections from about 4 months and always had one no matter the antibiotics he took, he wasnt talking much at all so at 2 I took him to an ENT and had him tested. He couldnt hear well, acted alot like your son.. But they did a tempanagram (sp) which measures the fluid in his ears, he had fluid, where his pediatrician had just seen him and said his ears were fine. because the ped was just looking with his ear thing not doing the tempanagram to measure the fluid in the ear. I told the ENT that Cory wasnt talking..

Anyway he had to have tubes put in and have his adenoids removed at 2 1/2. The ENT said his adenoids were the size of a mans thumb and had infection in them.

1 month after the surgery Cory was saying about 100 words ( from 15) and was hearing. It did impair his hearing alittle, but it makes me so mad cause I kept asking that ped if there was something else and he said "NO".

I had to go over his head to get anything done and I am so glad I did! Cory just couldnt hear and once we had the adenoids removed and tubes put in he was great! I mean he wasnt sick anymore, no ear infections and all around great health for a little boy who always had snot running and always had an ear infection!

He is 14 now..

So keep your head up, and dont assume the worst .. It could be as simple as getting that fluid off his ears..

If it is the worst as in his hearing is lost them you will cross that bridge and you will do fine... You are a good mother and are doing what you should. You cant beat yourself up about it...

BIG (((HUGS))) to you... Keep us posted I will be worried about you...

 

[kingminihorses]

Awe! I am so blessed to have you guys for support. Thank you for the sweet comments and encouraging words.

It's a wonder what a good night's rest will do too. Today I have the strenghth to be more patient with him and knowing what we know now my approach in communicating to him is much different. He watches my face a lot and I have been learning some basic signs this morning and he's showing interest.

It's ironic that I took an interest in signing when I was a child and would sign at church during worship time. I loved it! Now I have forgotten a lot but re-learning is fun and I'm blessed for that. Things are looking better and I am sure this time next year I'll be wishing he didn't talk so much!

Thanks again

Hayden on the dock:

 

[Basketmiss]

Awe! I am so blessed to have you guys for support. Thank you for the sweet comments and encouraging words.

It's a wonder what a good night's rest will do too. Today I have the strenghth to be more patient with him and knowing what we know now my approach in communicating to him is much different. He watches my face a lot and I have been learning some basic signs this morning and he's showing interest.

It's ironic that I took an interest in signing when I was a child and would sign at church during worship time. I loved it! Now I have forgotten a lot but re-learning is fun and I'm blessed for that. Things are looking better and I am sure this time next year I'll be wishing he didn't talk so much!

Thanks again

Hayden on the dock:

What an adorable little angel!! How sweet is that...

 

[EminentArabians]

I also had tubes put in my ears and my adnoids (sp?) taken out when I was a young child, however my hearing problem wasn't discovered until I was in 1st grade (I ended up repeating 1st grade) and I had to take speech therapy classes for some time. I usually didn't hear my parents talking to me unless I was looking at them to know they were talking. I don't remember how bad my hearing loss was because I was so young, but I now hear perfectly fine and I always did very well in school after the surgery . Your son will be in my prayers and I hope that everything works as well for him as it did for me.

 

[Riverdance]

What an adorable little boy!!

Do not ever thing that you are a bad mother. Motherhood is tough and we do not have all of the answers. You followed through on this and found out the answers, and your little boy will be just fine.

My prayers are with you.

 

[bluetaterbaby]

My prayers are there for everyone! I'm so sorry for all this; but now he's on his way to getting help! Don't be so hard on yourself; you're a great mom! You're doing everything humanly possible to help your son and his world will come alive with wonderful sound! We're all here for you and just a click away. BTW, you're children are gorgeous!

God bless,

Joan

 

[Boss Mare]

My prayers..

What beautiful children!!

 

[Casnos Minis]

That is the cutest darn picture I've seen in a long time. I'm sorry about Hayden. By the way that's my last name and I have a cousin with that name. It is tough, but start him with signing it will help alot. I have ababy book of signs and some sign cards if I can find them. Pm me with your address and I'll send them to you. My mom teaches my kids to sign. She used to work as a paraprofessional with Special Needs kids and she did alot of signing with them. Hang in there, you are a good mom and your kids love you no matter what.

Christy

Awe! I am so blessed to have you guys for support. Thank you for the sweet comments and encouraging words.

It's a wonder what a good night's rest will do too. Today I have the strenghth to be more patient with him and knowing what we know now my approach in communicating to him is much different. He watches my face a lot and I have been learning some basic signs this morning and he's showing interest.

It's ironic that I took an interest in signing when I was a child and would sign at church during worship time. I loved it! Now I have forgotten a lot but re-learning is fun and I'm blessed for that. Things are looking better and I am sure this time next year I'll be wishing he didn't talk so much!

Thanks again

Hayden on the dock:

 

[zoey829]

Your children are beautiful. Things will work out. You are not horriable. You are doing everything you can your son and family are in our prayers.

 

[The Dynamic Duo]

The one good thing right now is that since you learned early, you can now teach him ASL so he can most likely be fluent by the age of 11!