my husband is nearing the end of his long fight

[anoki]

I've been thinking about you all day Charlene.....

Hope you are able to get some rest tonight

Take care

~kathryn

 

[Brandi*]

Thoughts of you and your family Charlene! I hope today was filled with much love and fond memories

 

[Shawntelle]

My thoughts are with you and you family

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Hi Charlene, I am thinking of you today. Life is too quiet and you're feeling so sad and alone, this is almost the hardest time and I just wanted you to know you're still thought of and prayed for.

 

[anoki]

Hope things are going ok for you today Charlene.....just wanted to say hi

((((hugs))))

~kathryn

 

[Charlene]

hi everybody and thank you so much!! i have SO many things to take care of today and i won't rest until i have thank-you notes written, stamped and ready to mail. we are all meeting at nana's later today to get that done!

i don't have time for a lot of detail right this minute but i can tell you that gary's services were everything i had hoped they would be. it was a beautiful day, the sun shined down on us and gary's last ride past the farm and to his burial sight was perfect.

graveside services were lovely, a fitting end to a wonderful life on earth and a new life in heaven watching over me. i had 2 definite signs yesterday. the first was hearing bluebirds singing on our way out to head to the funeral home for our private viewing before gary's casket was closed.

the second sign came to me last evening when i was cleaning up the kitchen. months ago, i came home from work one day and found sequins on the carpet near gary's chair. i asked where they could have come from and he had no idea. i accused him, playfully, of hiring a belly dancer to entertain him while i was gone. he plead not guilty. i later found out that a couple of his nieces were there to show off their sequined ballet tutus.

............

while wiping off the kitchen counter last evening, i found a blue sequin. i had been arranging flowers in a vase, we had SO many funeral sprays that we used several of them to make up vases for people to take home. i tore those flowers apart frantically looking for more sequins, thinking the florist had used them to decorate. i could not find a single other one. one blue sequin is all i found. it was a sign from gary, he was watching over me.

i still can't believe he is really gone from this earth. i am so profoundly sad, i don't know what to do except cry.

i will come back off and on and check in with you. thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. i'm sure i'll need many, many more!

xoxoxo charlene

 

[Hosscrazy]

Charlene ---

Just letting you know that we're thinking of you over here in So. Cal.

Liz R.

 

[Reble]

Thinking of you today Charlene, keep coming back here for support. We are just an email away.

 

[MInx]

Oh Charlene I've been thinking of you every day wondering how you are getting through the days..so if you feel someone looking over your shoulder, it's probably me nosing in..I know Gary is looking out for you, but we here don't plan to stop being here for you..

Stay well, you need to "take care of you" now too.

Bless you , Maxine

 

[Reijel's Mom]

I'm so sad for you that he's not here with you. I hope that your faith continues to sustain you and I hope that you continue to feel Gary's presence through these signs that you have been given.

Give all your furkids big hugs and kisses.

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

Charlene, just letting you know we are all here for you at any time. Just a email click away. I am so glad to hear everything went as planned. The perfect ending to a perfect love story. Now its time to let those tears roll, you have been thru so much, and such a strong insperation to all of us. (((HUGS))) just for being you. Corinne

 

[ChrystalPaths]

I bet you treasure that blue sequin. I believe very strongly in signs. Listen closely, and maybe you'll hear a little something or feel a warmth or even smell a familiar smell that speaks of your beloved Gary.

 

[Sonya]

Charlene...(hugs) to you and your family...I will be thinking of you.

 

[dreammountainminis]

Charlene,

I am glad that gary showed you signs ,,my mom showed me signs at her funeral ...I have always been a strong willed and indepentant person but when i had my private time with my mom I lost it , then I heard my mom plain as day Dont do this to yourself your stronger than this everything is gonna be okay...And I cant explain it but a feeling of such peace come over me and right after I felt this warm peace my moms favorite song came on the background music in the funeral home ..that was strange but ever since then I knew my mom would kick my ever lovin hind end if i didnt go on ....BUt I still cry and it was very hard as I was 29 and my mom was only 69 ...

I am so sorry I didnt get to check in with you yesterday i wanted to make sure you were okay ...I took dad to the er and he got readmitted to the hospital he has another bad uti....You are always in our prayers and we think of you alot.....Take care of yourself and the fur babies...

 

[Charlene]

oh dreammountain, i hope your dad has a speedy recovery!!

thank you all. i thought i was doing so well until late yesterday and today. i have not been able to stop crying, just when i think there are no tears left, another wave washes over me. i am told this is all normal grieving so i am trying very hard to come to grips with it. so many times over the past couple of days, i would hear something funny, see something silly and think to myself "oh, i have to tell gary, he'll get such a kick out of that!" but then i remember, gary is gone and i will never be able to really TALK to him in this world. i know time will help so i just have to be patient.

we have busied ourselves with writing thank you notes today, i can't rest until that is all done. SO many beautiful arrangements of flowers, it was simply breathtaking. gary was SO loved!!

 

[hhpminis]

Nothing wrong with tears my dear.

No one expects you to not cry. Time will make it better, but right now, of course you are sad, of course you miss him. He was a very special man and he will leave big shoes to fill. I hope once the weather gets nicer, you can get out and enjoy all the special things that he has done around your farm and feel a bit like he is there and truly never really left.

Hugs to you

 

[CyndiM]

Keeping you in my prayers, for as long as you need or want them. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Sunny]

It's okay to cry, Charlene. <HUG> Much better than holding it inside. In fact, I'd be more worried about you if you didn't cry!

Bless your heart. There are still soooo many prayers for you.

 

[crponies]

I hadn't read this thread for several days so missed saying anything sooner but wanted you to know I am praying for you. I am sure you will still have plenty of rough days ahead but God will carry you through. (((hugs)))

 

[Kathy2m]

Just checking in on you this morning. I hope you got some rest.

My Dad left me a sign too, we are not smokers and the boys were too young to smoke, we would always tease my Dad that he would leave ashes at every job he did, the cigarette would just hang out of is mouth the ashes would get long and drop on what ever he was working on (mostly the counter or floor sometimes my moms tablecloths!) I found ashes in my bathroom sink the morning of his funeral.

We are here for you, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, Kathy