Has anyone on here done an international adoption or know of someone who has and how it went? My husband and I are interested in possibly doing one from China, but are considering other countries as well.
Amanda
Amanda
International Adoption
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Just out of curiosity and not to hijack your thread, but... WHY do Americans adopt from out of the country rather than adopt children from the USA, or even Canada or Mexico or South America? Is it easier to get a child from somewhere else overseas? Is it cheaper? If not, what is the appeal? If it's a matter of ethnicity (ie. We're Chinese American so we would like a Chinese child BUT it's easier to get one from China...), I can understand that. But mostly, is it a matter of "rescuing" a child or supply and demand or what? Of course no matter the reason I think it's positively WONDERFUL when ANYONE adopts ANY child from ANYWHERE but I just always wondered...
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wdancer777
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Part of the reason people adopt from other countries is time, you can wait for YEARS on a list to adopt an infant or young child from the US. And that's if you meet the age requirements, they go by the fathers age on if you are eligable to adopt an infant or not. It's a lot more expensive most of the time to adopt over seas as sometimes you must actually fly over and stay in the country for a week or 2 before bringing the child back.
Envynoodles,
Believe it or not it can be much easier to adopt a younger child from another country than in the U.S. Our country's Red Tape is obscene! Unfortunately there are uneducated, poor, unmarried, and underage children who are POPPING out children right and left who are choosing to keep their infants while they are cute like DOLLS.....and then give them up when life gets rough, drugs get involved, the kids get too expensive and hard to handle...etc.... I sound harsh, but that's the reality...... I've seen it.
Adoption is not easy and being in the position where that is the ONLY way you will be able to have a family is even rougher. Because of the cr*p this country puts potential adoptive parents through, many feel they have little choice but to look outside of the border. Once that happens they see a major world-wide need of millions of unwanted children everywhere...... It's heartbreaking.
My parents were lucky with their adoptions. My husband and I were BLESSED with our's. But in all instances it took time and a lot of heartbreak before our dreams came through.
I wish anyone who wants to adopt the very best...... whether it's through their local Children Services, a Private Arrangement, or Over Seas with a specialty agency. God bless..... No option is simple.
MA
PS: Amanda -- We didn't adopt overseas, but we did consider it and got ourselves on the mailing lists of more than one agency who does it. Two that come to mind are -- The Holt Agency.....and All God's Children. I recommend going to Google and doing searches. There are others as well. Wish you all the best.
Believe it or not it can be much easier to adopt a younger child from another country than in the U.S. Our country's Red Tape is obscene! Unfortunately there are uneducated, poor, unmarried, and underage children who are POPPING out children right and left who are choosing to keep their infants while they are cute like DOLLS.....and then give them up when life gets rough, drugs get involved, the kids get too expensive and hard to handle...etc.... I sound harsh, but that's the reality...... I've seen it.
Adoption is not easy and being in the position where that is the ONLY way you will be able to have a family is even rougher. Because of the cr*p this country puts potential adoptive parents through, many feel they have little choice but to look outside of the border. Once that happens they see a major world-wide need of millions of unwanted children everywhere...... It's heartbreaking.
My parents were lucky with their adoptions. My husband and I were BLESSED with our's. But in all instances it took time and a lot of heartbreak before our dreams came through.
I wish anyone who wants to adopt the very best...... whether it's through their local Children Services, a Private Arrangement, or Over Seas with a specialty agency. God bless..... No option is simple.
MA
PS: Amanda -- We didn't adopt overseas, but we did consider it and got ourselves on the mailing lists of more than one agency who does it. Two that come to mind are -- The Holt Agency.....and All God's Children. I recommend going to Google and doing searches. There are others as well. Wish you all the best.
For me it's partly supply and demand and how long of a wait. Anymore too it seems just as expensive to try to adopt here in the US as it is out of the country. Most countries you do have to travel to and some you have to go twice, but China is one of the shorter stays for adopting plus I've always wanted a girl, and since I should not get pregnant and I can choose why not? Also, I am not sure about Canada or Mexico, but I know in South America you have to spend quite a bit of time down there for the adoption. The other problem I have with U.S. adoptions is the possibility of the birth parent getting their child back. I would have a very hard time taking in a child and then losing it. That's why I don't think I could ever do foster parenting even though I'm glad many people can.
Amanda
Amanda
runamuk
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My neighbor and best friend is in the middle of her china adoption....she adopted from the US and is now doing china.......it is going on a year and she is awaiting travel approval.....slow right now as the country shuts down for chinese new year..........if you want info let me know I can get you plenty off list
To answer Envy's question.........the reason people adopt out of country is to have a child that is THEIRS no strings no state no bio parent possibly changing their mind......the US adoptions have gotten to a point where a bio parent can and have come back and changed their minds several years down the road...even turkey baster's have become a hot bed for lawsuits and custody battles over sperm...and eggs.......
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You are all correct......Over Seas adoption are less risky.....
We had two adoptions here in the U.S. that did not go through because the bio-mothers changed their minds AFTER the babies were born.
I won't tell you how hard that was for us........
MA
We had two adoptions here in the U.S. that did not go through because the bio-mothers changed their minds AFTER the babies were born.
I won't tell you how hard that was for us........
MA
runamuk
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OK to address the specifics....If you are looking for a girl without special needs ..ie hepatitis, cleft lip/'palate, older (2yrs plus) and other mental issues be prepared for a bit of a tumultus ride....it isn't fast or cheap or easy......it takes time lots of time...plan on a year minimum from being selected lots of paperwork and hoops and lots of money.........real dollars to give you an idea......my friend is single and adopting a 2 yr old boy with special needs (ie unwanted in chinese society) he has a discounted "price" take offense if you wish but it is the truth....when all is said and done she will be into this adoption 30,000 ....her US adoption in comparison older child 6 when she started 7.5 when done was less than 5000..............it is tough ...it takes alot of time...and you need to be prepared.......I can share the adoption agencies she has used as they are very good to work with....
tuffsmom
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My mother in law/step-father in law recently adopted a little 1 year old girl from China. It has worked out so well! The process was a little lengthy, from what I understand, but well worth it. They flew to China to get her, had to stay for a couple of weeks, and then all was finished!
They got to name her...JoyLin...and as far as she's concerned, her new Mommy & Daddy have always been her Mommy & Daddy. She's such a good little girl, and very smart! I haven't heard of one negative aspect of the adoption from them! Good luck!!!!!
**Edited to add, I was told that TOTAL, they spent less than $18,000 for the entire process. Including their trip to China (plane tickets, lodging, etc..)
They got to name her...JoyLin...and as far as she's concerned, her new Mommy & Daddy have always been her Mommy & Daddy. She's such a good little girl, and very smart! I haven't heard of one negative aspect of the adoption from them! Good luck!!!!!
**Edited to add, I was told that TOTAL, they spent less than $18,000 for the entire process. Including their trip to China (plane tickets, lodging, etc..)
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Michelle@wescofarms
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We adopted from Ukraine in 2001 and I have a close friend that was going to adopt from China, but ended up adopting from Kazhikstan (sp?) at the same time. She switched to Kaz as China took to long and she wanted as young a baby as possible. Her daughter was 6 1/2 months or less when she adopted.
As for adopting domestically - I'm personally not a baby person so that wasn't a need - plus I know to many people that have had the mothers change their mind, etc. The older kids with the foster/adopt program seemed like lots of red tape and hoops that the US requires seemed just awful. We had considered adopting domestically and from a number of different countries, but Ukraine seemed like the right fit for us!
The international process is no picnic, but it relatively quick (mine and my friends was literally one year from deciding yes to having the kids home). If you'd like any more information feel free to email me [email protected].
If you start researching and get onto the different mailing lists/forums for adoption (look at yahoo groups for a start - don't just listen to the agency!) you'll learn the good, bad on each country. Some people won't adopt domestically because of the worries about drug abuse/sexual abuse, some won't adopt from Africa because of the risk of HIV, some worry about fetal alcohol problems in Russia/Ukraine - everyon worries about RAD, ADHD, etc - it goes on for each country as no country is perfect.
The children are all in need regardless of which country you adopt from and it's a personal decision - it will feel right for your specific family and you don't have to justify it to anyone.
As for adopting domestically - I'm personally not a baby person so that wasn't a need - plus I know to many people that have had the mothers change their mind, etc. The older kids with the foster/adopt program seemed like lots of red tape and hoops that the US requires seemed just awful. We had considered adopting domestically and from a number of different countries, but Ukraine seemed like the right fit for us!
The international process is no picnic, but it relatively quick (mine and my friends was literally one year from deciding yes to having the kids home). If you'd like any more information feel free to email me [email protected].
If you start researching and get onto the different mailing lists/forums for adoption (look at yahoo groups for a start - don't just listen to the agency!) you'll learn the good, bad on each country. Some people won't adopt domestically because of the worries about drug abuse/sexual abuse, some won't adopt from Africa because of the risk of HIV, some worry about fetal alcohol problems in Russia/Ukraine - everyon worries about RAD, ADHD, etc - it goes on for each country as no country is perfect.
The children are all in need regardless of which country you adopt from and it's a personal decision - it will feel right for your specific family and you don't have to justify it to anyone.
Kathy2m
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My cousin adopted 2 babies from China they did have to stay there for 2 weeks every time. Things worked out very well for them. My niece fostered to adopt,(in the US) and it has been VERY difficult, they were not fully informed on the medical and mental condition of the birth mother and children, they adopted 3 siblings. I could fill up 100 pages telling you of the problems with these children. We love them dearly and they have gotten better but it is very challenging for my niece and her husband, after many failed surgeries, they gave up trying to concieve, she did get pregnant, they found out a few days before the adoptions were final! I wish you the best of luck with this, Kathy
I have a friend who adopted a little boy from US (he was 2 - dad was drug addict and mom wasn't in the scene...) When Ty was 4 they wanted to adopt again..looked into overseas but really wanted siblings - they went online (some adoption network) found siblings in Idaho or Oregon went there to see the children who were taken from addict parents who were both in prison and they were going to split up 4 siblings (3 girls (5,3,2) and a 1 year old boy. Well M and her hubby knew they had to try to get them all! The kids came back here with them and within 7 months they were all legally theirs! And to top off there new family Mary got pregnant (they said she could never conceive)LOL They have an awesome family and the kids are all doing great! (of course they had to get one of those 10 seater vans
: )
shminifancier
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My brother 3 years ago adopted a 2 year old from Russia..What a darling little boy his name is Noah, is turning out OT be.. Now they are saving up for getting maybe a sister for Noah and also get her from Russia.
MInx
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MY daughter adopted two boys 9 months apart, unrelated from here in U.S.. Both infants, both have had problems but we love them dearly. Was very expensive and a very long wait..
then came the girl, our darling Evie, from South Korea. It took a total of 6 months, cost about the same, still a hard wait but she was escorted over for us, and is wonderful beautiful, ben her 4 yrs now, and we have to answer that question ALL the time and are tired of it!
Don't question people till you've walked in their shoes. It's not easy when you can't just decide to have a baby on your own. We've had that asked to us RIGHT in front of our little grand daughter, and it makes me fume!
Maxine
Yes we did adopt internationally. It was a wonderful experience!
MY daughter adopted two boys 9 months apart, unrelated from here in U.S.. Both infants, both have had problems but we love them dearly. Was very expensive and a very long wait..
then came the girl, our darling Evie, from South Korea. It took a total of 6 months, cost about the same, still a hard wait but she was escorted over for us, and is wonderful beautiful, ben her 4 yrs now, and we have to answer that question ALL the time and are tired of it! OUR grandaughter was headed for an institution as she was deemed unadoptable because of a couple of handicaps, and we provided her a good life here.She's repaying us a thousand time over. I'm tired of ignorant checkout girls etc asking that question to us..but unlike here I always try to be informative and polite about it. Guess I just reached my limit, so flame away.
Don't question people till you've walked in their shoes. It's not easy when you can't just decide to have a baby on your own. We've had that asked to us RIGHT in front of our little grand daughter, and it makes me fume! Sorry to be so harsh but that's just ill informed to even say that! And to mention Mexico etc as the same as U.S.? Don't get me started..children all over are hurting everywhere, and if we can send a horse to the Ukraine to live and feel good about it, is it wrong to bring a child from overseas here to have a better life?
Maxine
Sorry wdancer777 that's not directed at you, just in general, just got in the wrong place, I apologize. It's just hurt my little girls feelings SO many times and she doesn't understand. Maxine
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Mona
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Our son-in-laws sister and her husband had a boy of their own, and planned to have more, but then at a very early age(in her late 20's), "Jan" had a very bad heart attack. It was not a "usual" heart attack, but was something very rare, and the doctors told her that she should never have another baby, as being pregnant could trigger this again, and could cause her to die, so advised against her ever getting pregnant again.
They decided to adopt, but found that adopting in Canada was a LONG process, and you were lucky to ever get that young baby that they were seeking, and then there was the possibility of the bio mother changing her mind. They decided they did not want to go that route, so checked into International Adoption.
They adopted their first daughter from Vietnam. She was just a baby....only 6 months or so...maybe even less. "Kira" is now 5 years old, and they have just recently completed their second adoption...this time, another baby girl, and this one from China. They just picked her up a few months ago. "Emma" just turned a year old, but was I think 9 months when they got her.
They decided to adopt, but found that adopting in Canada was a LONG process, and you were lucky to ever get that young baby that they were seeking, and then there was the possibility of the bio mother changing her mind. They decided they did not want to go that route, so checked into International Adoption.
They adopted their first daughter from Vietnam. She was just a baby....only 6 months or so...maybe even less. "Kira" is now 5 years old, and they have just recently completed their second adoption...this time, another baby girl, and this one from China. They just picked her up a few months ago. "Emma" just turned a year old, but was I think 9 months when they got her.
My dads cousin adopted a little boy from the Dominican republic i'd say about 10 years ago (maybe more). I'd say the "little boy" is now in his middle teens/high school. If i recall the government doesnt' do the heavy health checks like country'sl ike China and she flew down to get him and he had serious defects tot he legs. they spent years trying to correct them. He was finally able to at least walk but last i knew had permanent leg problems.
My aunt also adopted from china. A gorgeous little girl that was 18 months old. she was unable to conceive and carry to terms. after many atempts. Ironically enough she conceived and was several months pregnant when they went to get the baby but due to her msicarrying she didn't dare to back out on the adoption. They flew to china and found out last minute that she had a heart murmer and was classified a "special needs baby" . fortunately my aunt was qualfied for a special needs baby too and decided to take her. the murmer did get bad enough they had to have surgery to fix it but it wasn't a BIG deal typ of surgery. she's now a healthy 9 year old. and has a healthy "baby" brother TOO. I know they said it was very pricey they joked they'd have to sell their biological son to pay off the adopted daughter..LOL but from what i can tell adopting from china is a good way to go because they thoroughly screen their adopters as well as the children to make sure the children are healthy. also as someone else mentioned you dont' have to worry about biological parents wanting them back. they THROW them away in china litterally. i guess 90% of the baby girls are what they adopt out and they were FOUND with no identification as to family history ect.
edited to add: we all LOVE this little girl. it doesnt' matter that she's ethnically difernt than us. She is one of us. she of course know's she adopted and her parents make a point of celebrating her adoption and tryign to encourage her ethnicity.
My aunt also adopted from china. A gorgeous little girl that was 18 months old. she was unable to conceive and carry to terms. after many atempts. Ironically enough she conceived and was several months pregnant when they went to get the baby but due to her msicarrying she didn't dare to back out on the adoption. They flew to china and found out last minute that she had a heart murmer and was classified a "special needs baby" . fortunately my aunt was qualfied for a special needs baby too and decided to take her. the murmer did get bad enough they had to have surgery to fix it but it wasn't a BIG deal typ of surgery. she's now a healthy 9 year old. and has a healthy "baby" brother TOO. I know they said it was very pricey they joked they'd have to sell their biological son to pay off the adopted daughter..LOL but from what i can tell adopting from china is a good way to go because they thoroughly screen their adopters as well as the children to make sure the children are healthy. also as someone else mentioned you dont' have to worry about biological parents wanting them back. they THROW them away in china litterally. i guess 90% of the baby girls are what they adopt out and they were FOUND with no identification as to family history ect.
edited to add: we all LOVE this little girl. it doesnt' matter that she's ethnically difernt than us. She is one of us. she of course know's she adopted and her parents make a point of celebrating her adoption and tryign to encourage her ethnicity.
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I'm afraid Boinky is right about little girls in China...... China has a law for "population control" that every couple is now only allowed to have ONE baby. Of course, just about all of them want BOYS, so the girl babies are "dumped" and not claimed.
MA
MA
