Do you dislike someone you love?

[AppyLover2]

Anybody else have this problem or is it just me?

I won't make this a life story but for years my sister lived far enough away that we only saw one another a few times a year. We were always VERY close (for years I considered her my best friend) and had a great time when we were together. A few years ago they moved to the same town; things didn't go well. They moved away (not because of our problems). I moved; they moved close again. Now things are tense any time we're together. I haven't spoken to her since Thanksgiving when she said something very hurtful. I know that as we get older we tend to sometimes be a bit outspoken but some of the things she's said the past few months have me to the point that I just don't want to be around her. Obviously she feels the same because she e-mailed me the other day and said she had mailed something to me.....she only lives 6 miles from me. Christmas is at her house this year and I'm looking forward to it about like major surgery.

Is there anyone else out there who loves someone but just doesn't like them very much???

 

[anoki]

Yep....my grandparents and great aunt live with us. Let's just say I enjoy my basement dwelling.....

I have never met a more bitter, manipulative, so and so as this aunt, and I just can't get over how the 3 of them would sooner fight than eat....

Makes it real fun around here, let me tell ya

~kathryn

 

[sfmini]

My maternal Aunt was a mean, bitter woman who died a bit over a year ago. My reaction at the funeral home just astounded me, major tears. I was so sad for what could have been, but she was so bitter it was hard to get past that. She had an amazing wit, was so intelligent, and so bitter towards my Dad and what she perceived as his poor treatment of her. Oh, the Christmas's she ruined being bitter. So sad.

 

[Sonya]

I think just about everyone has a relative that they love but can't stand them at the same time! It's unfortunate that we can't pick are relatives! Donna, I have a sister, as a matter of fact two of them, that I often feel the same way about as you do. I think when you get older and move away...everyone changes and finds themselves and often when you come back together again, it's just not the same. I totally understand!

 

[Izzyantheminis]

Yes. I can relate. I don't want to get into details . But I will say that I both adore and love the person and also can't stand them much of the time.Life and love can be so complicated.

 

[backwoodsnanny]

Yes and I raised him my son sometimes he is the most wonderful man and other times he makes my blood boil and I wonder where my son went. He is one who raves but I know why as hubby did too in his younger years he finally outgrew it at around 40 son will be 39 on his birthday so there is still hope.I love him dearly but when he gets on a rave I'd like to stick a sock in his mouth. He also says very hurtful things when angry and then swears he doesnt remember saying them. I mean he is truly shocked that I would think he said these things. I dont know if he has a brain cramp or what. He also remembers his childhood totally different than his father sister or I do but thats another whole story.

 

[Warpony]

Oh yes. My husbands grandmother. I love her dearly but can't stand to be around her because she makes it clear that she can't stand me and believes her grandson made a mistake by marrying me. It kinda hurts, I am older than my husband and all of my grandparents are gone and I want so bad to be able to enjoy her but she is just so nasty to me in this condescending way. And when she is nice to me it's in this overly sweet fake way. I know it is fake because she tells everyone else she has to pretend to like me. She doesn't even wait until I am too far away to hear her before she starts to criticize everything about me and my "lower class" ways.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Oh yes. My husbands grandmother. I love her dearly but can't stand to be around her because she makes it clear that she can't stand me and believes her grandson made a mistake by marrying me. It kinda hurts, I am older than my husband and all of my grandparents are gone and I want so bad to be able to enjoy her but she is just so nasty to me in this condescending way. And when she is nice to me it's in this overly sweet fake way. I know it is fake because she tells everyone else she has to pretend to like me. She doesn't even wait until I am too far away to hear her before she starts to criticize everything about me and my "lower class" ways.

You are a nicer person than I if someone is that horrible to you and you can say you love her dearly!! Especially someone that isn't someone you grew up with.

I have a few blood relatives that I feel this way about. Very negative people and I just have a hard time with it. I hope for the younger ones they change "someday". A lot of time when I'm around them I'm thinking in my head "SERIOUSLY - is it that big of a deal, do you really want to behave this way - what if whomever you are mad at this time ends up gone tomorrow"!

So I try to keep THAT in mind and act nice, even though I want to shake them!

 

[Denise]

Do hubbys count?

I swear sometimes I'd like to bury him in the back pasture and then there are days he can be sweet as pie.

But after 25 some years he is still my best friend.

 

[Marsha Cassada]

I was going to ask the hubby question, too!

My youngest sister fills the bill exactly. We enjoyed each other so much. Then she got jilted and turned into Ms Hyde. It's been several years, but she is still difficult. Part of the problem is our mom. She runs back and forth among the siblings spreading rumors and repeating anything she hears. Maybe you have someone like that in your family. Your sister may have been told something you don't know about that is causing the trouble. And how would you know what questions to ask her?

Hopefully there will be lots of people at her house at Christmas so you two can be diluted. That is what I try to do with MY sister.

Loving is hard. Maybe because of tv or movies, our generation is expecting too much. Things in real life can't be fixed in half an hour, like a sitcom.

You are not alone!

 

[Miniv]

Do hubbys count?

I swear sometimes I'd like to bury him in the back pasture and then there are days he can be sweet as pie.

But after 25 some years he is still my best friend.

DITTO! You beat me to it! We've been together 30 years.......and usually are BEST FRIENDS, but there have been times when I just don't LIKE him! (And yes I tell him!) LOL.

MA

 

[Warpony]

You are a nicer person than I if someone is that horrible to you and you can say you love her dearly!! Especially someone that isn't someone you grew up with.

I know, I must be mental. But she seems like a really neat lady when she isn't treating me like complete garbage. I mean, if I can get her talking to someone else about her childhood and such she has such fascination tales to tell, and when she almost died we went to see her in the hospital every single day (we were the only one other than my MIL who saw her that much) and we even took her a battery powered Christmas tree for her hospital room. She was nice to me then, and... I thought maybe we had turned a corner but as soon as she got out it was right back to normal. I kinda started to get used to her the way she was in the hospital and then when she got out and went back to being nasty it was like a kick in the teeth. I don't know what is wrong with me, lol. OH! I guess I just really want a grandma.

 

[Casnos Minis]

I was going to ask the hubby question. Seriously! I can't stand him most of the time. He is such a child when he doen't get his own way or when I need to do something for work or 4-H. I don't have many friends and he gets mad when my cousin, my boss/instructor, and I get together on Friday nights to have a few drinks and talk up at the barn (5 minutes from my house). I tell my hubby if he doesn't like me having friends or doing things for myself (which I have always done) to leave, but he won't. I tell him it's becasue he 's afraid of what the child support would be for our 2 kids.

Christy