JennyB
overo
[SIZE=12pt]Hi all,[/SIZE]
I am just sitting here in my sister's spare bed room at 1:38am MT in the middle of Montana, 500 miles away from home, husband and animals feeling very sad and lonely
: :new_shocked:
: I have been here 1 week after leaving my husband for the 2nd time in 24 years...I have issues of anxiety and depression which I have been dealing with all of my life(the last 22-years have been the worst). My husband is an ex-vietnam veteran, who drinks too much and buys things we don't need. We are in debt to our eye-balls
: and I am SO tired of living the way I have been living, but I still love and miss he so much it HURTS so bad
:...I am getting counseling, going to al-anon meetings and co-dependency meetings here, but I am reading conflicting articles about co-dependancy
: Most say you shouldn't be co-dependant and I am certaily co-dependant, but others say, it is a scam and is one of the main reasons for divorce... :new_shocked:
I know that I am not well enough to go back to him and he has his issues to work out too. I am just so afraid that I am going to loose him.
: I feel like I have betrayed him by leaving him, leaving with all the bills, the work around the house, plus him working 5-6 days a week 100 miles from home everyday, but I had to as I was having suicidal thoughts(having acted out one time already in November) and was so sad. So I threw somethings together, took my dog and vanned it over here. His last words to me were "good ridance!"
: Now he wants me to come back again...
: It is hard to be patient and try to do the right things. I don't know why I am saying all of this here as I am not one to spill my troubles on others... :new_shocked: So forgive me if I sound silly or crazy to you all. I have never been so confused in my whole life...
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Here I am 50-years-old and I am trying to start living differently..I am not sure that I can do it?
: I have felt better in many ways since I have been here and have been on a new medication for my depression for a month now, but night time is SO hard. I have a hard time going to sleep! If I didn't have my dog right with me and the love of my sister and her husband, I don't know what I would do :new_shocked: I feel like I have been such a failure as a person and wife for so long...Since my sister and her husband are sound asleep, I thought I would write my feelings down here so maybe I would feel better and could go to sleep. I guess if I ask "what should I do?"...I am being co-dependant... :no:
Oh well thanks for listening...
Jenny "totally lost in Montana"
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I am just sitting here in my sister's spare bed room at 1:38am MT in the middle of Montana, 500 miles away from home, husband and animals feeling very sad and lonely
I know that I am not well enough to go back to him and he has his issues to work out too. I am just so afraid that I am going to loose him.
Here I am 50-years-old and I am trying to start living differently..I am not sure that I can do it?
Oh well thanks for listening...
Jenny "totally lost in Montana"