lvponies
Well-Known Member
I have no friends. I've worked from home for the last almost 10 years and I have no people close to me to talk to. My mother has passed away, so don't have her either. So, wonderful forum members, my only family, I am coming to you with my troubles.
So.......my husband of 17.5 years has told me that he no longer loves me and hasn't loved me for a long time. He cares about me, but isn't "in love" with me. He says he isn't happy and wants to move on. He says there is no one else and that he doesn't feel he is capable of being "in love" with anyone. He wants to be on his own with no one to "report" to. He's always been since I've known him, very closed up with his feelings. Non-demonstrative & closed up with his feelings. So, this has come as a total shock to me. He says he's not happy. We went through an awful lot in 07. He had a heart attack a year ago, my oldest daughter's legal problems & drug problems. 07 was a really bad year and I had really hoped that 08 would be better. Guess not!! It's an awful feeling to be told that you are no longer loved. I always thought that down deep he loved me. Now he's saying that after all these years that he's never felt "in love" with me. We're both 47 years old. Mid-life crisis maybe??
I don't know what to do. I've never been alone. This is all extremely fresh as he told me this on the phone at 6:00 this morning. My initial thoughts are that we will have to get this place ready for sale, sell the horses and find somewhere else to live. We've lived here for 9 years and there's alot that will need to be done to get it ready to put on the market. There's no way I can continue to support it by myself. Financially, I could maybe swing it, but I've depended on him for long time to do stuff......make hay, deliver hay, fix fence, etc. You all live on farms & know all that needs doing. I think the thing I will miss the most is the barn that Allen built for me. I always thought of that as the ultimate way for someone to show his love for me. Maybe that seems silly, but all the work he put into it building it by himself always amazed me.
I'm in shock!!! How do you deal with someone telling you after 18 years together (17 married) that he no longer loves you. I really need a hug!! I really need someone here for me. But there is no one. My reality has completely shifted, my world has come to an end.
He said he will help get the house ready for sale. He doesn't want this to get ugly and for the sake of my kids, neither do I. We need to sit down & figure out the bills and stuff. We bought him an 06 Dodge 3500 dually truck with a Hemi this past summer. Really nice truck with only 6000 miles on it when we bought it. Big & black with all the bells & whistles. I really wanted him to have it as he hasn't had much in his life. I think he's going to have to sell it. Don't know if he will be able to make payments on it without my income.
I don't know what to do!!! My life as I knew it has come to an end!!! Our marriage wasn't perfect, but there was no fighting, no ugliness. He has just decided that he no longer loves me or wants me. Doesn't want to stay here and live a lie. At 47 years old, I will be on my own and alone. I don't know how to deal with that. It just hurts so much!!
Thank you for reading this! I really appreciate it very much.
So.......my husband of 17.5 years has told me that he no longer loves me and hasn't loved me for a long time. He cares about me, but isn't "in love" with me. He says he isn't happy and wants to move on. He says there is no one else and that he doesn't feel he is capable of being "in love" with anyone. He wants to be on his own with no one to "report" to. He's always been since I've known him, very closed up with his feelings. Non-demonstrative & closed up with his feelings. So, this has come as a total shock to me. He says he's not happy. We went through an awful lot in 07. He had a heart attack a year ago, my oldest daughter's legal problems & drug problems. 07 was a really bad year and I had really hoped that 08 would be better. Guess not!! It's an awful feeling to be told that you are no longer loved. I always thought that down deep he loved me. Now he's saying that after all these years that he's never felt "in love" with me. We're both 47 years old. Mid-life crisis maybe??
I don't know what to do. I've never been alone. This is all extremely fresh as he told me this on the phone at 6:00 this morning. My initial thoughts are that we will have to get this place ready for sale, sell the horses and find somewhere else to live. We've lived here for 9 years and there's alot that will need to be done to get it ready to put on the market. There's no way I can continue to support it by myself. Financially, I could maybe swing it, but I've depended on him for long time to do stuff......make hay, deliver hay, fix fence, etc. You all live on farms & know all that needs doing. I think the thing I will miss the most is the barn that Allen built for me. I always thought of that as the ultimate way for someone to show his love for me. Maybe that seems silly, but all the work he put into it building it by himself always amazed me.
I'm in shock!!! How do you deal with someone telling you after 18 years together (17 married) that he no longer loves you. I really need a hug!! I really need someone here for me. But there is no one. My reality has completely shifted, my world has come to an end.
He said he will help get the house ready for sale. He doesn't want this to get ugly and for the sake of my kids, neither do I. We need to sit down & figure out the bills and stuff. We bought him an 06 Dodge 3500 dually truck with a Hemi this past summer. Really nice truck with only 6000 miles on it when we bought it. Big & black with all the bells & whistles. I really wanted him to have it as he hasn't had much in his life. I think he's going to have to sell it. Don't know if he will be able to make payments on it without my income.
I don't know what to do!!! My life as I knew it has come to an end!!! Our marriage wasn't perfect, but there was no fighting, no ugliness. He has just decided that he no longer loves me or wants me. Doesn't want to stay here and live a lie. At 47 years old, I will be on my own and alone. I don't know how to deal with that. It just hurts so much!!
Thank you for reading this! I really appreciate it very much.