Should Church be a happy place?

[Marty]

I've become "Churchless" for the first time in my life since June 10th. I'm not used to this.

My questions for you and topic for discussion is:

Should Church be a happy place where you can smile and feel good?

When the kids were little and we were looking for a Church here, the first one we tried scared us to death.

The preacher was preaching in the "fire and brimstone" style, and had us shaking. Dan was so little, he just sat there with his eyes HUGE bugging out and Michael was holding him close. He was so scared. Michael leaned over to me and whispered to me if he could pretend he was sick so we could leave. I said YES, let's gooooooooo. We left in the middle of the sermon.

Jerry's Pastor came to me and wanted to know why I wasn't attending Church with Jerry. I told him I still have "issues" with God and I am not ready, may not ever be again to return to Church. This Pastor uses the old "fire and brimstone" tactics and the way he preaches, upsets me. He yells, yells a lot from up there. I know that is the "style" but I did not like it before and I don't like it now. To me, he's "threatening" heck way too much, in every other sentence, every week. "If you want to get to heaven do this do that etc. " And if you don't, you will go straight to burn in heck"........that type of thing. Always yelling. So loud. Very loud and pointing his finger and banging his fist down. When I look around, no one is smiling. No one is looking happy. But everyone is listening. I told the Preacher in the nicest way I could that I do not want to go to Church to get yelled at like that or threatened. If you take a minute out to go to the Religious Channels on TV, if you keep flipping the channels, eventually, you will see what I am talking about. I know this is the style for that kind of Southern Baptist Church and that is the way he chooses to preach. "Passionate" would be putting it midly. Not all Southern Baptist Churchs do that however. Our Baptist Church in Florida did not yell at us either like this one here.

Being raised in a Catholic Church, there were hymns being sung by choir, things much softer and quiet. I don't remember the Pastor I had growing up being loud or scarring anyone when he preached.

On television I saw a commercial for a Church in Chattanooga. I don't even know the denomination but the people were sure happy. They were singing, clapping their hands, and there was a full band, a huge band with a drummer, guitars, horns, all kinds of instruments. The previews showed the pastor was not hollering in his sermon. He was speaking in a normal tone of voice, smiling, looking kindly at the people. I told Jerry When I get ready, "I'll go there".........when I'm ready.

Wondering what you think about it all.

Should Church be a "happy place" ???

 

[Warpony]

Yes and no. Church should be a happy, loving, supportive place but it should still adhere to it's standards. If someone is not living right they should be loved despite their sin but the Word should net be watered down in order to make everyone feel comfortable.

I should think church is best when it is a place you WANT to go, not one you dread and feel obligated to go to.

 

[littledonkeys.com]

Yes and no, please dont loose you faith, too many have in our country and our morals are suffering for that reason.

Yes you should be able to be happy you are there, but it is a time for reflection and soliderity. I steer away now from baptist. I use to be one for years but they areslowly becoming the extreme wing of the christian faith with snake kisser, turbintine drinkers, and a group that protest at soldiers funerals and chant they are glad they are dead. That has turned me off to Baptist. Most Holy Rolling hellfire brimstone are baptist also, I went to one while i was young and dating and it scared the heck out of me.

I left the episcapol church after 13 years because they allow gay priest and I for personal reason appose that. I now attend a non denominational church and find that to be nice

 

[CountryHaven]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but... If you believe in Jesus Christ the son of God, you will be saved... I do not remember anything about if you don't go to a building and pay your tithes you'll be darned. (I realize that's being a bit flippant, but it's the way I see it.) Church is supposed to be a place where believers can come together to feel the combined strength of their connections to the holy spirit, not a place to be told they'll burn in heck. That style of preaching only benefits the organization it serves... scares parishoners into coming and donating, as if their money could buy their way into heaven.

Anyway, I am probably the very last person who should be speaking on this. I do believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God who died for our sins, and I do believe that is my salvation... I do not go to church. I had my fill of structured religion years ago, and the hypocracy and corruption.

 

[nootka]

Tami (Country Haven) is right on. It should be what you feel comfortable with. I think it should be a supportive community of caring, if you go at all. Yes, there is a "leader" in the "pulpit" and that leader should also be supportive, attentive and also caring.

I also don't go to church, don't believe in God, but have been to my share of different types of church, though since I attended Catholic schools, and my mother thought she was "Catholic" (oh, do I use that loosely, but she took it seriously), I have most experience with them. It IS/WAS a scary place.

I think the right answer is in each person and if they feel good with a church experience, and get happiness from it (and as long as that church isn't draining them financially as well), then go. If you feel your connection with your god in your heart whereever you are most comfortable, then that would have to be where "he" wants you to be. Does that sound so unreasonable?

You need to do, Marty, what you feel best with. This is why I feel organized religion is so wrong. No ONE person (note I said person not god) can tell anyone what, when, and where. Especially after what you've been through, I think the journey of your soul is wholly up to you (and the spirits around you).

Good luck with your search, but don't let yourself be bullied, either....not in any way. It can't possibly be "God's will".

Liz M.

 

[wade3504]

Like Countryhaven I too have always been taught that it is what you believe and not the acts you perform on whether you are saved or not. My grandmother thinks that if she goes to church that she'll be fine but I don't think that's right.

If you are not happy at the church that you once attended then I would find another church. We had a really good pastor that ended up moving to Chicago and I miss him greatly. The new one is OK but he is more into drilling the scripture home and more into the fire and brimstone. He's not as bad as the one you mention, Marty, but enough that I don't want to go. My whole family goes there but I am seriously considering finding another or I have found out that I can still hear our old pastor from the internet. If you aren't happy doing something then why would you want to go. I think that church and the fellowship you receive and give there is something that should be looked forward to not dreaded. Try some other churches.

 

[lyn_j]

[SIZE=14pt]Church should be a place where you can feel good if you need it, feel convicted that you need to make some changes if you need it..... It is not the building but the people in it and how they present the word of God..... IT is a place to see comfort, share joys, be admonished if needed and no one knows what you need personally in your heart like God does. Inthe right church, you will get the messages you need.[/SIZE]

Fellowship is important in helping build your faith. It offers friends to pray with you and for you even when you dont feel like you can pray for yourself. These have been my experiences with my church family.

Lyn

 

[Miniv]

Marty,

Your experience is very much like what happened to me and why I stopped. I have attended a different church from time to time for Brianna's benefit. But I also believe that church should be a place to praise God and feel uplifted - not down trodden.

As Lyn stated it should be a place for Fellowship.

I hope you find what you need when the time is right.

MA

 

[Jill]

Marty --

I do not go to church. I've been maybe 2 times and that was when I was a kid and spent the night at a friend's house (and went to church with her family the next day).

However, YES, I think church should be a fun place. I don't know how it is throughout the country, but in my area, for many people, church is pretty much a social center for many people. They have all kinds of activities and enjoy going not just for the sermons but for social activities.

For me, I am not interested in joining any organized religion. It doesn't suit my personality but I am spiritual and I have my beliefs that I am very comfortable with.

If you are not enjoying church, I hope you will find one that is something you look forward to going to because I know it has been a meaningful part of your life in the past. I think it's important that you are able to maintain that part of your life (and also to keep involved with minis).

Jill

PS IF I were going to start going to church (I'm not), I'd want it to be one of the gospel ones like you see on movies with all the singing and smiling

:

 

[shane]

JILL!!! you took the words right out of my mouth lol :bgrin

i dont go to church, i stopped over ten years ago, i asked the church leader a lot of questions that he couldnt answer, and i didnt believe for a while, now i just say a prayer everynight and hope to live a good life, without the chuch thing, i dont think you need to go to church to be conected to god,....isnt he everywhere? if you go to a special place in your mind and talk to god, REALLY TALK TO HIM surely thats more important than just going through the moves OF GOING TO CHURCH EVER WEEK, MARTY I REALLY HOPE YOU FIND THE RIGHT ANSWER FOR YOU,

AND I WOULD love TO HAVE A GOSPEL CHURCH TO GO TO, IT WOULD BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY

: THEY ALL LOOK SO CONNECTED

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Are there any Quaker meeting houses near you??

You will not get singing and dancing but you will get support and love.

I think you need both at the moment and at a Meeting House you could share your grief, if you wished ot, or just sit quietly.

Then go to the Gospel Church and sing your heart out!!

 

[Steph_D]

The church that I go to is fun. I don't believe that you should go to church to be yelled at by someone. If there's correcting that needs done, God will let you know and you'll feel convicted about certain parts of your life. We attend a non-denominational church. We sing, dance, clap, yell, scream, pretty much whatever. We're not wild and crazy, but we do have fun. It shouldn't be something that you dread every Sunday and Wednesday. Also, our kids don't attend the regular service but go to Children's church and they have a blast. They're not forced to stay out of the sanctuary, either (I've heard of churches that don't allow children in the sanctuary at all :no: ).

I don't think I could stay in a church that makes me feel worse than I did when I walked in.

 

[JeanS]

I agree with everyone, Church should be a pleasant place and good fellowship. I was raised in a prot/jewish household, in a catholic neighborhood. Because of being told as a young child I would go to heck because I was not catholic, I have very negative views of the catholic church.

Being yelled at from the pulpit IMO would not give me the spiritual comfort and education of God.

I don't attend Church every week, but I worship everyday I find working in the garden a great place to commune with God, and remind him of my problems that I really need help with. Also careing for all the 4 legged babies IMO is a great way to honor him. Also on Wens. Night the back porch has the prayer group when at 8:00 we light a candle, pray for those we know need extra prayers and in my case I also meditate.

I know none of us can tell you what you will be comfortable with, but you don't need to be in a building to communicate with God, and yes as a christian I think we go through times of doubt but then he will send us a sign he is with us.

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

I was raised Catholic, non-practicing now. Organized religion scares me.... I do believe in God, and Jesus Christ as my Savior, but... I say my prayers every night, thank God for the favors He grants me every day, try not to ask for alot of stuff

but all this "do this or burn" stuff, well....

The COOLEST sermon I ever heard was by John Lyons. Yes, THAT John Lyons. It was Easter Sunday, and at Equine Affaire in Columbus OH. All he said was that God wanted to be your friend. In more words, yes, but the jist of it was that He wants to be your friend. THAT is what I always believed.

If you want to try a "quiet" service, I've been to the Lutheran service several times, they are a nice, quiet, hopeful church. I did like it alot.

Lucy

 

[littledonkeys.com]

Religions now are getting political too, I dont like that

 

[anita]

I understand a church should be a quiet place to think about ourself, order our minds and find support if needed.

Anita

 

[anoki]

My parents stopped going to church, I don't know, it feels like eons ago....we had issues with those in the church that we attended. My sister-in-law is a 'youth minister', which in this day and age is a good thing, it's just too bad that she spends more time with the congregation then with her own husband and child :no: That to me is the crime with many religious people (at least in this area). The church should be about family...not just the 'church family'. I have been turned off the whole church thing, but that still doesn't mean that I don't have some type of faith.

~kathryn

 

[bfogg]

Tami :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033:

:

Bonnie

 

[RAPfrosty]

I think that that is the point of church. It's a place of worship, to show God how much you love him. Love is supposed to be happiness, right? So church should be a happy, loving place that you should want to go to. I think if you don't want to go, you are not at the right place. I'm going through a time in my life right now where I'm not sure that going to a formal church is what is right for me. I always feel closer to God when I'm alone or when I'm walking in a park, things like that. I think faith is so much more personal then religion allows it to be. But I guess that is anouther topic

.

 

[Ashley]

I left the episcapol church after 13 years because they allow gay priest and I for personal reason appose that.

Can you get any more close minded?