Rehoming a "family member"

[LindaL]

I have a Boxer (Diego) that Deb and I have finally made a decision to re-home him.

I think we both have thought about it for awhile, but have not said anything to each other, because we really do not want to do it. When we adopted him, we made a commitment to give him a "forever home", right?

Normally I would say "Yes"...I mean, you wouldn't re-home a human child, would you? (OK, some people would...

)

Deb and I already had 2 dogs when we brought Diego into our household, so he was the "newbie" coming in. There were a few growls, but everyone decided it was ok and we have lived together harmoniously since. The only time there has been even close to a fight was over a dog bone, which the MinPin "thought" he wanted and Diego was like "I don't think so Old Man" (Gunner doesn't even bother with toys or bones, so that was an isolated incident).

We have had Diego for 14 months now. We have taken him to the dogpark and to boarding...both places he was allowed to and able to play nicely with other dogs....most of the time. He has on a few rare occasions gotten into a scuffle with another dog, but never an all out dog fight.

The problem is when we bring another dog onto HIS territory...He will not back down and is very unpredictable...and can/will attack. This means that we can never bring in another animal (dog/cat/bird, etc) into the household...and when we move to a farm...i am afraid for the horses!

We made our decision based on our lifestyles changes we will be having in the near future. We don't want a "liability" in any of our "furkids"...and Diego is just aggressive and unpredictable enough to have us HAVE to be watching 24/7 with other animals around.

Deb and I are very sad that we even have to make a decision like this...He is our fur-child and we love him.

 

[Jill]

Hi, Linda --

I don't have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to let you know I sympathize. Our dogs are our babies. We've never had to re-home one (it would honestly kill me), but you have to think of your other animals as you have expressed.

Hoping it all works out.

Jill

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Hi Linda,

Having volunteered with animal rescue the last several years, I can say that sometimes there are really good reasons to rehome an animal and often it all works out great. And usually when a family has decided to rehome a pet it does little good to try and change their minds because once minds are made up, they are made up. That being said, for me personally, I just couldn't rehome one of my family members because I might want to bring more animals into the house some day that they might not get along with. Those who are here 1st have dibs in my home. As far as the issue with the horses, that could be managed - just no unsupervised off leash time around the horses.

If you do have to rehome him, and he was adopted, do you have to go back to the place you got him from 1st?

I wish all of you the best in your decision making.

 

[Shari]

Sometimes it needs to be done and will be better and more safe all away around.

I once bought a Black Appy mare and Maggie hated her on sight. Even with the other mare on the other side of the fence for almost a month, were they could safely see and smell each other but not touch, neither one of them would take to each other. I tried putting them together in a nutral pasture in a controlled manner but both would not back down and both were out for blood. Think stallion fights are bad!! I knew they would never tolerate each other.

To keep both safe, I ended up selling the Black Appy mare, she fitted into her new owners herd just fine and no issues. Is the only time Maggie out and out hated another horse like that.

I had a friend have to rehome a dog she got from a shelter. Warned her about that dog but she was going to stick with it. Could not trust it around the big horses.. dog got kicked in the head hard twice with stitches and would not stop even then, then it killed one of her favorite cats. She finally said the animal wasn't a good match and send the dog back.

It is better to send them back before they kill or hurt your other animals.

I know it is hard, as you want to do what is right. But you have to keep your other animals safe and sometimes... one animal just won't click with the rest of the "herd". Is best to rehome them.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Agree 100% with your post, Shari - but Linda stated that things are "harmonious" with her current pets.

 

[~Lisa~]

It is a tough decision. But like someone else said usually once someone reaches that decision their minds are made up.

There might be ways around re homing him but if it is not a right fit it is not a right fit. I did re home a Border Collie- she was a great dog in fact the smartest dog I have ever owned but she just was not a good fit and she moved in with a family (done thru a rescue while she lived here until they found the perfect home for her) that had just lost their border collie and it all worked out just great she is happy in a home where she fits .

I was committed to keeping her until new home could be found. I could have worked around her "issues" but now that she is in a different home she simply does not have those issues anymore.

 

[mad for mini's]

I have been in that position as well, it is an agonizing decision but when limits are reached and nothing you do helps, you have to take the welfare of everyone in contact with the animal into consideration and do what is best for everyone. In our case we adopted a young dog (2 years old) and he was great for about a year or so before his aggression kicked in and he was very unpredictable. First it started with the smaller dogs, biting the back, aiming for the spine, so he was not messing around, he was intent on killing. Then he turned on my bigger dogs and lastly people. Nothing we tried made any difference and before anyone got seriously hurt we made the decision to put him down. I tried placing him with shelters or rescues but no one in my area would take an animal with a known aggression. IMO no dog is worth risking the safety of others.

 

[Shari]

Agree 100% with your post, Shari - but Linda stated that things are "harmonious" with her current pets.

But what if another pet or child wondered onto their place? Personally, I would not want to tell the parent of a child, my dog, attacked or killed that child or someone else's beloved pet.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Again, 100% agreed, mad for minis, but that's not at all what Linda is describing her boxer to be like. A dog that doesn't like other strange dogs to come into his territory is not all that rare and shouldn't really be considered a behavior problem. Sadly, maybe not a right fit for her family, but definitely shouldn't have to be a candidate for euthanasia!

 

[HorseMom]

I've had to rehome a "family member". I had this great dog named Conan that is a Jack/Rat Terrier mix. I had plans for him to become a carriage dog. Unfortunately work was requiring me to work 14 hours a day, 6 days a week. Conan was starting to lash out since he was in a kennel for the time that I was at work. I completely understand why he was, I would have too if I was in his place. I made the decision to rehome him to a family that had someone home at all times. He really needed the constant attention. I found a great family that lives near by. Conan would belong to their 14 year old daughter but Mom worked from home so someone would be there for him to cuddle with. This family has been great. They have had him for over a year and have taken him with them when they travel. I just got an e-mail from them yesterday letting me know how he was doing. They say he's spoiled rotten and loving life. As much as I miss him, I am so happy for him. The real bummer is that after I rehomed him I lost my job and have been a stay at home mom since April. Our landlords had made an exception when we moved in, that we could keep Conan but once he died or we got rid of him there was no more pets.

I miss having a furry body to cuddle with at home.

 

[mad for mini's]

I'm not saying the dog needs to be put down at all. My point was that this may only be the beginning. Who's to say it won't get worse ? If she is doubting his behavior and unsure whether she can control him, then it is in everyone's best interest that he be rehomed.

I hope you are able to place him in a home where he will be happy. It is amazing the difference it makes when one dog does not really "belong" After the dog I had was gone, all the other dogs I had left were so much more content and relaxed. I hadn't realized what an impact he had on them until afterwards.

 

[Miniv]

Linda,

You are looking ahead and I realize that.......I've never had to do what you are considering for the reasons you have. We have re-homed one dog and it was a Corgi. Her name is Shammy.

Shammy needed to be the "top" dog in our family. It was vital to her. One day Larry brought home a Gold Retriever puppy. Shammy was DEVASTATED. She would go into a corner and sulk daily.

Well, because of circumstances that fell into place, Shammy found a new home with an older lady. We didn't go looking. Shammy's new home found HER and she became a PRINCESS.

Sometimes the right situation will fall into place if you keep your heart and eyes open.

Good luck.

 

[Ashley]

Well you pretty much have made up your mind, but take him back to where you got him not just rehome in.

That said, I could never rehome a pet just so I could get more pets. Our boxer can be aggressive to if strange animals come on to her land(just ask the neighbor dog) however she has never harmed any of her animals or any of the horses. We have gotten plenty of new horses over the time of having her, as well as new kittens.

 

[Katiean]

I totally get where you are coming from when you say you need to re-home your dog. At times I am at my wits end with my GP/BMD mix. She is in her older puppy stages and at times gets out of control. I have now started stick training with her. She loves to run and play with my mares. So much so that when I tell her to come out of the horse pen she just jumps back and forth like "you can't catch me". I have a Perellie Carrot Stick. I went and got it and again told Brandy to leave the pen. She jumped back and forth again. I slapped the ground with the whip. She couldn't get to the gate fast enough. So now I am doing the same thing I have done with my yorkies for over 25 years. If they are doing something I want them to stop I ask them if I need to get the stick. None of my dogs have ever been hit with the stick. But they all know what it is. Another thing I do is I don't allow anyone to have dominance over another. I am the alpha dog and no one can attack another. Brandy ((approx. 75#) thought she could boss my 1 3/4# yorkie around and take food away from her. Since she could kill the little dogs with one bite I come down on her real fast and hard. I don't hit her. But I use a very loud and growly voice while I have ahold of her collar. I get right down in her face and let her know that is not acceptable to do in this family. With this kind of training she doesn't even hurt the chickens. If one gets out she will go to the chicken and push her nose on the chickens back so it squats. I can then go over and pick up the chicken and return it to it's pen. Could you maybe try to take the Alpha Dog position from your boxer?

 

[LindaL]

I'm not saying the dog needs to be put down at all. My point was that this may only be the beginning. Who's to say it won't get worse ? If she is doubting his behavior and unsure whether she can control him, then it is in everyone's best interest that he be rehomed.
I hope you are able to place him in a home where he will be happy. It is amazing the difference it makes when one dog does not really "belong" After the dog I had was gone, all the other dogs I had left were so much more content and relaxed. I hadn't realized what an impact he had on them until afterwards.

No, we would never consider putting him down (or taking him to a shelter)...unless he actually BIT a human or killed another dog/cat. But, that is exactly why we want to rehome him...The possibility is there (well, not for humans..at least not on purpose) and Deb and I do not feel confident in our abilities and not around enough during the day to CONTROL anything that were to happen while we were gone. We have crates, but I do not want Diego to spend his life cooped up in a crate...or even cooped up in the house (we have a dog door for them to go in and out when they want).

I want him to be a happy dog...living in a household where someone is there to give him the attention he craves (he is a big baby and thinks he is a lap dog)...without having to share his space with other animals...I think that would be an ideal situation for him. Lastly...I think he needs more training than we can give him on a more consistant basis than we seem to do with him. Does that make him a bad dog......NOOO... and I am not saying he is a bad dog.

I feel guilty even thinking about placing him in a new home...I feel like a bad mommy for letting HIM down....Yet, I also know in my heart it is the best for all of us...

BTW, I contacted the lady we had adopted him from and while she would love to have him back, but she is in a living situation where she can't have any dogs....but she is helping me place him, since she raised him from a puppy.

 

[mininik]

Why not try some training classes to see if you can work with Diego before letting him go? This would be way more than just "obedience" training. I urge you to check out http://www.dogdaysnw.com (located in Vancouver) and contact them ASAP about their behavioral training: Fiesty Fido, Control Unleashed and Constructional Aggression Technique. If you can't commit to a weekly class, I believe they also offer private training consultation. Diego may have to be managed closely for a while, but with the right help he'll likely be able to move past his issues. If you rehome him, who knows if he'll ever get that chance!