I'm Back from California

[Kim Rule]

Hi everybody...I got back late last night. I was going to go to work tomorrow, but I have a horrible cold, and I feel lousy. I am not sure I understand all of this, but I feel different somehow. Even home feels different. Mom never saw this home, I'm not sure why it feels different. I guess it's just me.

All of my brothers and sisters were there. As we were cleaning the house, I kept waiting for Mom to come around the corner, and say "I KNEW it would take something like this to get you all together! What are you doing to my house!!?" But, it never happened.

I think we found a home for Mom's cat. Thank you, everyone that gave suggestions and offered help with that.

We worked on the business end of what needs to be done when someone dies. Mom left specific instructions about what to do with her body, and the fact she didn't want a funeral. She paid for most of it too. Sunday night we had a wake for her at the social center in her mobile home park. We served ice cream and cake, because she loved to go to ice cream socials when she could move around better.

Before the wake, my brothers and sisters and I all went out to the desert. We acted like goofy kids...putting coins on the railroad track and letting a train run over them...my brother Stuart raced the train, running beside it as it went down the track. Then we shared what was in our hearts. We didn't gloss over hard feelings, we all knew Mom wasn't perfect. We shared good things too. We also thanked Mom for the gift of our brothers and sisters who we love so much. We stood in a circle, with our arms around each other and cried like babies. It was a joyful, hard, fun, gut-wrenching afternoon. I am exhausted.

Now I was set to get my life back to normal, but I get the feeling it will take a while.

I miss my mom.

Go hug yours.

Kim R.

 

[minisaremighty]

Oh, Kim....Hugs! You've not been far from my mind the last few days. I'm fortunate that my mom lives with us and we are very close. I thank God every day for her still being here. I lost my dad when I was 20 and I'm not ready to let my mom go yet.

Life WILL seem different from now on. Everything you do will have a different feel. Losing a parent is terribly rough, even though it's the way of life.

More prayers and good thoughts coming your way...

 

[justanothercowgirl]

(((((((Hugs))))))))))Sorry about your Mom, time will get you used to it. In the meantime be good to yourself, take some time for yourself tomorrow. Glad to have you back!

 

[Watcheye]

I am so sorry. I was touched to read of your time spent with your family. I could almost picture it in my mind granted I have never seen any of you. May your heart heal and may many happy memories be made.

 

[JO~*]

[SIZE=14pt] ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))0[/SIZE]

 

[CAM]

The pain will be great for a very long time and the strange & empty feelings will subside a bit over time but the hole will always be there. My hope is that you will remember the good things about your mom and those memories are what will keep you going day after day.

 

[Miniv]

What a bittersweet and cleansing time you had with your brothers and sisters.........and yes, you ARE different.

You no longer have your mom on this earth to talk to and physically touch. And as Debra posted, there will always be a piece of your heart that is missing.....no matter what your relationship was with her.

Something tells me that you and your brothers & sisters did exactly what your mom wanted you to do. You celebrated her LIFE. Hold onto those GOOD memories and please know that she really isn't far way.

(What kind of home did you find for the cat???)

Blessings,

MA

 

[ShawneeCreek]

I'm glad you spent the time with your brothers and sisters. You will always remember this time with them. Your life will be forever changed by her absence, but you will go on and life will be good. Hugs to you.

 

[Kim Rule]

MA, We found someone's daughter from the park wanted to take the cat. She really was a pathetic thing. She is very overweight, and my mother was unable to pick her up to groom her for who knows how long. The poor thing has HUGE mats all over her. She'll have to be put out to cut them off. She is a shy cat, but she was starting to warm up to us a little as time progressed. If the people in her new home are patient, they will get a wonderful sweet cat.

I'll rest tomorrow, and then go to work on Thursday. It should be an easy day, and then I'll rest some more. I've got to get back into the swing of things before I go insane. I think I might take Bilbo for a drive while I am at home. Horse therapy always works wonders!

Kim R.

 

[CyndiM]

[SIZE=14pt] (((((HUGS))))) [/SIZE]

I certanly know what you are saying about her cat. We are looking for a home for one too. When my hubby is ready I'll make a real effort.

 

[sharon]

What a very special, touching time you had with your siblings. Sounds like it was very bittersweet time together. I know your Mom was watching you and smiling, and sharing your group hug.

 

[Marty]

When my mom died, I felt very different. It was like "Ok I HAVE to be the grownup now".........even though I was already.

I felt shock, numb, empty, all rolled up into me. Not a good feeling.

This will pass Kim, and you will be ok, but it will take time. (((((((( )))))))

 

[keeperofthehorses]

{{{HUG}}}

I think taking Bilbo for a drive is a great idea Kim. There is nothing quite so comforting as horse-therapy. We've been thinking of you this week. Talk to you soon...

 

[FFFoxyGal]

(((((((( hugs))))))))))