I think I have the worst husband in the world

[krissy3]

Well its our annerversary today , and the morning started out nicely. we shared the duities of making a nice breakfast for 2 friends, and shared the cleaning up part, Lorenz is at a friends house and I went out to lunge ponys, but when I saw the sweat dripping down blancos legs , I decided to come in , have another glass of champaign , and hold off till the evening. Hubby now knows his path is going nowhere. He knows its time to put on those hiking boots and find a new direction... We read today that Michell Obama has also asked hubby to make some changes...I am not alone. ( we Europeand adore the Obamas) This relationship is only 3 years old , and its the longest relationship I have been in , including being married before...I dont want to bail out again, without giving him an oppertunity to make some much needed changes... time will tell, for now I will research transportation fees. thanks again

 

[loveminis]

That's the key - TIME WILL TELL : )

 

[LindaL]

Krissy....No one wants to "fail" and I understand your desire to work on your marriage instead of just bailing, but....deep in your heart I think you know you will leave....It is just a matter of when and only you can make that choice.

I have been married 2x before and no, I did not want to end it and feel like I failed...but sometimes you HAVE to put yourself FIRST...your happiness is what is most important. I struggled with that, especially in my 1st marriage when the kids were young and I did not want them to become a product of divorce. It was hard...one of the hardest decisions I'd ever had to make, because normally my kids do come 1st, but this time (even after a separation then a "try again" period) I knew I had to put my happiness before my kids. I have never regretted that decision.

I hope you find the strength to do what is best for yourself. You can PM me anytime...

 

[WTFFarm]

I think one of the biggest mistakes women make is thinking they can "change" their husbands. I mean you can fix small things we can all learn to do that but you can't change someone's total personality...not permanently. If it's not there to start with it won't be there after

 

[Katiean]

I have been reading your posts and advice. I lived in a controlling inviornment. I could not talk to a checker at the gas station or I was having an affair. I was allowed enough gas in my car to go to the grocery store and Dr appointments. If I went to the grocery store on Saturday, he would follow me to see who I was talking to. Just before I left he was going to disconnect the phone because I had a couple of friends and I called my mom. I just went and saw him after 19 years. I found out that he now has a ruffer life than I do and he had it all before. You will get to the point that you decide that you are the most important and you will leave. I did.

 

[Charley]

I hope you are able to work things out. You have put a lot of thought and effort in this and I hope your husband sees this and is able to work with you in fixing things.

 

[~Dan]

I think it is mighty swell of you to try and fix the relationship, but if you've had as many problems as you said you have, is it really worth staying??? If hes been this way for 3 years, chances are, hes not gonna change anytime soon so why waste your time, money, and sanity on him. I seem to have a feeling hes being nice now because when you gave him your ultimatum, he knows he cant live without you and your help, so hes trying to trap you in the marriage to take care of his hotel and him. If it were me, id dump his scrub "A" and hi tail it to the grand ole' US of A. I hope all works out, just remember there are so many on here pining for you, so keep your head up and look for the positive outcome.

 

[crponies]

I'm glad you are putting your efforts into trying to make things work. I know you said you are not religious, but I hope you won't mind if I am praying for you and your husband.