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Danielle_E.

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I woke this morning like any other day and went out to chore this morning. My intent was not to go to work if Abby was showing any kind of sign of foaling and of course she wasn't. Her bag had gone down again, she seemed her usual self, not agitated or anything. Ate her morning meal....all seemed well. Of course many of my co-workers and others in the building where I work were aware of Abby being in foal. There is a particular gentleman who also works in our building and use to work with racehorses at the track and today during one of my breaks I was outisde and he was inquiring about Abby and we got on the topic of minis having more possible complications than full size horses and I told him my worse nightmare would be for her to foal without warning and without anyone in attendance should a redbag delivery occur or should the sac not break!
One of my worse fears seems to have come to hit me smack in the face and knock me down.

I received a call from my son who gets home earlier, my daughter was at home this morning as she only had to be at work for noon. So it was in that 4 hour period that everything went wrong


Early this afternoon I made some phone calls to find some test strips that not only gave me a ph reading but also testing for "hardness" in water that I found out predicts better than the just ph one and that would give me a headsup of approximately 12 hours or less. I had the guy put them aside as it was their last kit.

I left work and on our way home I asked my husband to stop at this store and that is when I got the phone call as I walked through the doors!! My son called to say that Abby had foaled, my heart soared when I heard those words and then the words "but the foal didn't make it, it was still in the sac" and I thought I was going to drop right than and there. I told my husband and I walked immediately out of the store in a daze, not wanting to believe the words I had just heard.

I got home and went immediately to the barn where my son still was. He told me he had placed Dora in the wheelbarrow and had already dug her grave
. I went over and looked at this beautiful little filly and removed the rest of the bag from her body so that I could take a good look at her to remember her and I cradle her cold little face and head
God this hurts....

Thank you so much for your words of sympathy. Thank you Mona for posting this for me as I was just unable to do so earlier. Karen, I am so very sorry that I had to leave a message like that on your phone but it took all my willpower to call Mona and you and I didn't think I could do it again tonight without falling totally to pieces and I didn't want you to just come on the forum and read about it first Yes it certainly has been a sad day, one I will never forget but one that many of you have gone through yourselves but I will also never forget the caring people that make up this forum, the "Family". You truly are very special and caring individuals and for that I thank God that he has surrounded me with each one of you. I think I am all cried out, for now anyway. I spent some time with Abby tonight just holding her and crying and telling her I was so very sorry and asking for her forgiveness. Now I have to forgive myself which may take some time but I am not a quitter and I knew going in to this that sometimes things just don't always go the way we hoped or planned.

Again thank you all!
 
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Rachel

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So sorry for your loss Danielle. Please don't blame yourself though and I'm sure Abby forgave you already.
 

Cathy_H

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Having been there more than once I feel your heartwrenching pain........ Please take comfort in the fact that you may someday kiss the face of another little one from your Abby. Bless you!
 

Marty

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Dani, One minute we were so happy and laughing and the next minute this.....

It's just so unfair....but even more unfair to blame yourself. Don't do that. It's not your fault.

I don't know what to say Dani.....my heart is broken for you.
 

Danielle_E.

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Hi Marty, thank you for your post. I am just sitting here, I can't sleep at the moment, guess I am use to being on mare stare. If you are still on-line let me know if I can call you right now.
 

virginia

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Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I just got online to post a question and to see what went on today. My heart is broken for you and Abby. It is one of the saddest and the hardest thing we go through. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Ginny StP
 

tigeresss

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Wow, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine what you're feeling. My heart truely goes out to you and your family.
 

~Palomino~

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OMG you have got me in tears
It would hurt, But there is nothing that is going to change it!! I allways hurt so bad when ANY of my animals die and it is worse than anything (unless loosing a family memeber) I just wish that the baby could have seen the world but I can garenty(SP) that she is happier and it was best for her and now she can go make some boy happy up in heaven!!

-Gage-
 

justaboutgeese

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really tragic and our thoughts are with you. Its to bad they can`t be like dogs, take their temperature and know it will happen within twentyfour hours.
 

REO

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Danielle, I'm in tears. I know what that heart break feels like. I wish I could take your pain away and make you feel better, but I can't. The saddest thing in the world is seeing that much wanted baby that didn't get to live. I'M SO SORRY that happened. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
 

ChrystalPaths

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I'm so very sad for you and your Abby. You're a super mini mom,
 

Marnie

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This is such a hard thing to go through. I hope you and your family hug and kiss Abby and can look forward to another little foal from her some day.
 

MInx

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If tears were wishes for recovering your loss, mine right now would certainly fix everything.

Your wrote a beautiful Post Danielle and my arms are around you.

Time really will help, just doesn't seem so right now.

Let me tell you when I raised Great Danes one I had two last beautiful fawn puppies, Brandy and Kohoteck (after the comet at that time)...it was middle of Winter, frozen tundra time..everything frozen, so we thought..

my daughter at the time(now grown) was home ill from school with strep throat. Puppies wanted out, they were 10 weeks and housebroken.

I let them out to play in the snow and get my daughter her meds and went to let the puppies in..no puppies. I looked everywhere, daughter got bundled up and went to look, she found them, well at least their footsteps.

We followed the footsteps in the snow right to the supposidly frozen swimming pool, which was above ground and had steps. At the far end were two holes!

I screamed for my husband (he wroked nights so was home sleeping) and we went out and all we could do was fish for them with long poles and got them out, dead, lungs burst..it took me a LONG time to forgive myself.

I wrote a long article for the Great Dane Journal which was published, about the guilt of my negligence..

I have forgiven myself now and honey you will too. You take care of yourself now and be ready for more babies in the future.

Sorry this is so long.

Maxine
 

Southern_Heart

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I'm so very sorry to hear she lost the baby. How heartbreaking.

Joyce
 

midnight star stables

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i feel so bad for you! if there is any thing we can do... i'm taking this as a learning expreance, i'm gonna start breedingin a few years & i didn't know that problems were that common, so in a odd way, thank you... it wasn't ur fault, it was a accedent, get well soon

desiree
 

capall beag

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SO SAD!

So hard to understand! The perfect, most loving home awaited that little filly but alas it wasn't to be.

It is no comfort to you now but many will be helped by your experience and by you taking the time to explain it on the forum.

I hope that soon there will be bright skies for you!
 
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