YouTube message on "Bullying"

[LindaL]

I KNOW we are not supposed to talk about politics, but altho this message is FROM a politician, it is NOT political...It is a MESSAGE that needs to be heard and I HOPE you all agree that BULLYING needs to STOP!!!

(Warning: this is a bit of a tear-jerker, so get a tissue ready)

I really hope this thread will not get deleted...It is SOOO important...KIDS are DYING because adults are not listening to them when they tell us they are being bullied...we are not helping the YOUNG people of our society...and they are committing suicide at 13 years old!! OMG!!

My link

*edited to add: In my next comment I clarified that this is NOT just a gay issue...The issue is BULLYING...and it is not OK to bully anyone...ever!

 

[Matt73]

Hope everyone's wearing purple today

 

[Matt73]

Interesting that there are 78 views as of now and not one person has commented. You may have gay sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, grandmothers...etc. It's not just young people that kill themselves because they're gay. I know several people that took their own lives in their late twenties. IT'S NOT A CHOICE! Think about it!

 

[Miniv]

No....It's not a choice......

I addressed this on Facebook too.

What I did NOT share was -- There are two very special people in my life who have passed who happened to be gay. They each contributed to Western Society in an enormous way in both the culinary and the field of art. Their lives were cut short. One can only imagine what more they would have added to the world if they were still with us........and I write this in tears.......I miss them so very much. Fortunately some of their works have been published.

One was a brother to me, a childhood friend. The other was his life partner of over 20 years. They were my rocks and protectors when I was young girl......It's a long story.....

No, as you said.....they did NOT CHOOSE to be gay. They chose to live outside of the U.S. most of the time because life was NOT easy HERE! Fortunately, they excelled in their artistic talents DESPITE the U.S. attitudes of the 1970's to 1990's.

Have I experienced BULLIES??? You betchya........And Yes I got my share too, but for other reasons.

 

[LindaL]

Matt. I totally agree with you and I am not trying to disagree, but...it is NOT just gay (or perceived to be gay) people who are being bullied...ALL bullying for whatever reason needs to stop. The gay factor just happens to be most prevalent in the news these days.

As the OP, I too was a little shocked (and disappointed) that not more people have responded to this thread. I hope they at least saw the video...

Joel Burns (the councilman in the video) was on Ellen yesterday. Many celebrities and politicians are "jumping on the bandwagon" for this cause, which is bringing it to the forefront....MAYBE people will finally pay attention that bullying is NOT just a "phase" kids go thru...it is never OK to bully another person...and it breeds intolerance.

 

[Matt73]

I know. Many many kids are bullied for one reason and one reason only: because they're different. But I am focusing on the gay thing because a large percentage of teenagers that take their lives happen to be gay.

 

[Jill]

No, being gay is not a choice.

Bullying is serious and while the recent media focus is on gay teens, they hardly have the market cornered when it comes to bullying or the tragic consequences.

I think I've run my mouth enough here that anyone who cares to know does know that I support equal rights for gays when it comes to any area including marriage. However, I do get tired of it being THE issue. Maybe it's not something a straight person can fully understand because being straight has never been any kind of a driving social or political force for us... but this divide makes it hard to understand how sexual orientation can turn into the perceived pivotal point to any given issue.

The problem is not bullying of gay teens but bullying of teens... it happens more often for reasons unrelated to sexuality that the reverse.

It is unfortunate, and true, that a large percentage of teen suicides are gay teens. I don't think it's because of bullying in most cases. I think part of it can be a feeling of not fitting in or not being "normal." Most people don't come to realize that NO ONE is "normal" until they're in their 20's!

I hope as time goes on it gets easier for gay teens as more and more people realize a significant portion of the population is simply born gay and it's not abnormal. It just is. But the problem of bullying is not exclusive to gay teens and is a problem for anyone singled out for not fitting the status quo.

 

[LindaL]

Jill....Your comment is why I went back and said that it is NOT a gay issue in my comment after Matt's...I didn't want this thread to be about being gay or gay issues, but about the REAL issue of BULLYING.

Bullying is not OK...ever...no matter who you are.

 

[REO]

I don't look at people as this or that or gay or straight, I look at people as people. And NO ONE should ever be bullied for any reason! I grew up being bullied and have been bullied as an adult too. It is not ok.

Sorry I have no speakers and dial up so I didn't watch it.

 

[minih]

I finally got it to come up on my computer. A very moving speech with an important message.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

What a lot of people don't realize is that bullying has become something totally different than what it was when even I was a kid only 10 years ago. With cell phones and the Internet the bullying follows children everywhere. I don't believe that most bullies are bad kids, but are just kids that are scared that someone will call THEM different and bully THEM if they don't point their finger first. We tell kids that it's ok to be different, but what we show them - on TV, on the Internet, in magazines - says something else. Even what minority representation there is in Hollywood or the media falls into very specific molds. It's just one more way we're telling our children what they should be. And I am sick to death of the word "tolerance." It's not about keeping your mouth shut or looking the other way, it's about accepting each other. We need to teach our kids that every single person is an individual, and that means that every single person IS different. Different is a good thing!

 

[Deb O.]

What a lot of people don't realize is that bullying has become something totally different than what it was when even I was a kid only 10 years ago. With cell phones and the Internet the bullying follows children everywhere. I don't believe that most bullies are bad kids, but are just kids that are scared that someone will call THEM different and bully THEM if they don't point their finger first. We tell kids that it's ok to be different, but what we show them - on TV, on the Internet, in magazines - says something else. Even what minority representation there is in Hollywood or the media falls into very specific molds. It's just one more way we're telling our children what they should be. And I am sick to death of the word "tolerance." It's not about keeping your mouth shut or looking the other way, it's about accepting each other. We need to teach our kids that every single person is an individual, and that means that every single person IS different. Different is a good thing!

Well said RockRiverTiff. The way to stop bullying is to teach our kids that different is good and not to tolerate any prejudicial or judgemental remarks in our home from adults or kids. Then maybe just maybe as our kids enter school they will have the foundation they need not to become bullys or be taunted by them.

 

[ohmt]

I agree, bullying definitely needs to stop, especially cyber bullying.

Parents: PLEASE monitor your child's facebook, myspace, etc.

There is another story that was published in Seventeen Magazine about two teenage girls that were best friends and then had a falling out. The mother of one created a myspace page pretending to be a teenage boy. She added the other girl and struck up some conversation, getting closer and closer to the girl, helping her with problems and sharing secrets. One day the girl poured her heart out and told the 'boy' she really liked 'him'. The mother replied, telling her she knew exactly who she was and that she was a horrible person and the world would be a better place without her. There was more to it, but that's just a really short version. That night, the girl killed herself.

It's not just kids bullying other kids, there are adults bullying kids, adults bullying adults, etc. I think people sometimes think they're being funny or think it's ok because it's not a face to face bullying so they don't realize how much they're hurting the other person.

 

[CharlesFamily]

Even before bullying was brought to the forefront of social consciousness this fall, our school district had already decided that bullying was going to be our target area to be addressed this year.

It was pure coincidence that this week we already had scheduled a speaker who talked with all of the students in the district and then last night had a parent training to teach parents how to "bully proof" their kids. The speaker's name was Jim Bisenius - and in my opinion he needs to somehow reach every child and their parent in America.

He was brilliant - and he truly has the answers to stop bullying. And it is not about telling everyone to "get along" because that won't happen. He also says that in all of his years of counseling - and he counsels both bullies and targeted youth - he has found that bullies are created in two ways. There has been a lack of nurturing to them and/or a lack of limits set. You have your typical bully who is bullied at home and neglected - the stereotypical dirty, mean kid picking on the other kids. Then there are those who have every advantage at home and doting parents, but are never made to mind or have limits set. As a teacher, I see more and more of the second type of bully.

Research has shown that youths that are going to be bullies start as early as two years old. You are NOT going to change their behavior - you have to change the behavior of the targeted youth - those who are bullied. He gives specific step by step directions and he says they are proven to work. Bullies feed off of fear - you take away the fear by empowering the target and they are like a comedian left with no material. Of course, this is for those youths being harassed verbally and physically. And, yes, he does recommend those being physically bullied being taught how to defend themselves - but very specifically.

He also tackled social bullying - the kind that happens especially with girls. He told us (parents) how to help our daughter break the dynamic of a social group where one girl holds all of the power.

There is too much for me to type here, but I just have to say he is phenomenal! I don't know if you can look him up on the internet or anything, but if you have a child who is being bullied I think his techniques could really work! The sad thing is, out of a district of around 1300 students, only about 30 parents showed up last night for the training. That's very sad and sends a huge message. If parents aren't going to care about this and do what they can do to help their kids, then nothing is going to change.

Barbara