Really need a shoulder, almost lost my sister tonight

[MiniforFaith]

Sorry guys, I really just need to vent. Not sure if everyone remembers my sister ans her prescitption drug problem. To make a long story short she has been at it for about 12 yrs.. Well she has been in the hosp. for the past 3 days do to broncitis.(Sorry right off the bat for bad sp, my hands are still shakey ans my mind is in a whirlwind) While she was in there, she told them she had a bad migraine so they were giving her some sort of narcotic.. Well the wonderful doctor sent her home with a script for 30 Soma'a(a muscle relaxant) She knows I have had it with her and i have put a major distance with her(recently i needed her to be here for when my kids got off the bus, i had a meeting a school for jamie's speech. When I talked to her a 2:00 she was fine, at 3:30 when I got home she was so stoned she didn't even know me. she was buying zanax from a stranger.) Well tonight she called her neighbor and she couldn't make out what she was saying.. All this time, she has lied to eveyone even my father that she has been straight. She lives with my elderly father that has had 3 strokes, so he can't tell most of the time.. Well when beth got there, she was unconsious.. By the time 911 got there, she was going into shock and barley breathing.. Beth called me as soon as she got to my dads. Dad said she was just sleeping.. This was at 5:00 and I just got home. She is in the ICU, and she will be alright. But if it wasn't for Beth going over, and me trying to save her life until they got there, she would have been dead.. She was coming to before I left, and started getting very combative, and was hitting me for calling 911. The very sad thing is I know there will be a next time, as you can't help someone who doesn't want the help.. I am so mad at her right now, but yet she is my sister and I do Love her. she almost died in my arms tonight

I can't get seeing her like that out of my head.. I just can't do this anymore

I feel like I am loosing it, going to snap.. But there is really nothing anyone can do, because it is her that doesn't want the help. She says she is fine. Her kidney fun. is in serious danger, as all the pills have done massive damage, and her liver function is getting bad, too. She is 39 yrs old.. As we all were leaving, she starting screaming(what we could make out of it), was she was leaving, going to walk home. That we were the ones with the problem.. Sorry, I just really needed to talk to someone and you guys are family to me.. How can i get threw this???

 

[Mona]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this and be a witness to it. I know how badly it must hurt. All you can do, is to continue to hope and pray that eventually she may see the light and get the help she so desperately needs. It is sure sad to see how drugs (whether they be prescription or street drugs), can mess up a person's life, and also those lives of their loved ones around them. (((HUGS))) for you Jodie, I know you need them.

 

[bluetaterbaby]

I am so sorry that you are going through so much as well as your sister. I'm so glad she didn't die. I can't imagine the pain you're in; but I do care. My prayers are there with all of you. There are a lot of wonderful people on this forum that care, too. I'm sure there are some who can give you great advice. It's like we are all a great big family.

We're all just a click away.

God bless,

Joan

 

[dangerranger]

You obviasly cant change her but you can get some counceling on how you should deal with her. Its too bad she cant see that it effects more than just her life. DR.

 

[lvponies]

I am so sorry you're going through this!! People addicted to drugs just don't realize how badly it affect those who love them. Any chance you can convince her to get help? Rehab? Counseling? Unfortunately, until she wants to stop taking drugs, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to make her stop. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[MiniforFaith]

Per conditions with her boss, she was going every Mon and Fri to meetings. Thye are something like AA meetings but they are for drug additcts.. She works for a dr. but up front answering phone and appts.. He has suspended her 2 now for coming to work stoned..

I just got off the phone with the hosp. She is coming to more, but is still in the ICU. She has to go threw a mental eval. She really, really needs help.. I just pray that there is some way we can get her into a inpatient rehab. I really think she needs very intense treatment. I just pray that she doesn't BS her way out of it, again..

 

[AppyLover2]

Jodie I can only imagine how hard it must be to have to watch someone you love destroy their life. You're right though, the only person who can save her is herself. If there is an Al-A-Non group there it might be a good idea if you and your family could attend meetings. My prayers are with you and all who love her.

 

[angle ridge]

Hello.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I don't know you, but I sure want to give you a big hug. I have a 23 yr old son. He is a drinker since he was 16. He was drinking day and night. Hard booze then mouth wash by the gallons. I tryed everything, from counciling to rehab to locking him in his bedroom. Then I tossed him out of my house. I spent thousands of dollars on him. He is in jail now. I know this sounds bad, but he has been a year without drinking, unless they have mouthwash there. He is a great kid that will do anything for you. But he was living on the attention he was getting from everyone.

Stay stronge. I know sometimes you are at your witts end. She sounds like she is a great sister.

Tough love is very hard. and when she see's that no one will be there for her, she might get it.

Again I'm sorry to hear about your sister.

 

[Kathy2m]

I'm sorry you have to go through this, I'm trying to deal with the same thing with my 25 yr old son. I have spoken to councilors they have told me the addict needs to want to get help, and until then there is nothing anyone can do. It is a very hard road to travel down. I'm trying not to be an enabler, but you want to fix things and sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. Bless you and the biggest of {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

Kathy

 

[wildoak]

Loving an addict is a tough road to hoe. I sympathize with you and understand the pain, and yes Alanon meetings for you might be a good idea right now. I went for awhile and - to me personally, they get to be a bit much - but in a crisis it's a wonderful resource as everyone there has been through what you are going through to some degree and can at least offer support and insight. Take care of yourself, love your sister, but I think for the sake of self-preservation you have to be able to step back and detach. Hard thing to do.

Jan

 

[MiniforFaith]

Hi everyone, thank you to all that posted a reply.. I feel better knowing that I am not alone, and that you guys on here do care!!

Just wanted to do an update. She signed herself out of the ICU last night, and is home with my dad.

It is so sad, because she is just upset that they (the EMS crew) ruined her Steelers sweatshirt when they had to cut it off of her. I am doing better, just because I know that there is nothing that I can do.. She has to want to help herself and she doesn't. The drs and I tried to have her placed in a inpatient rehab, but the one that is close is full and due to here evaluation, she wasn't trying to commit suicide so the only way to get her help is for her to sign herself in.. She is trying to put the guilt on me, but it is not working.. We had to call 911 or she would have been dead..She seems to think I should have left her alone to sleep it off.. I will continue to deal with her only when it comes to my father and that is it. I have to much on my plate, and i will not have her problems come into my life and ruin things here in my family..(My son is to upset, and hubby says she shouldn't be allowed around her..) The only thing that is still hard for me is the thought in my mind of holding her on the floor, doing sterum rubs to keep her awake and everything else that went on that night-- seeing them bagging her for her to breath.. I am just thinking of my family and me.. We can't do this with her anymore.. Thanks again so much for everyone's support, you guys are my only support on this, as hubby, well lets just say, he had it with her a long time ago. He thinks I should have just walked away.. I am now, but not when she was dying on my dad's floor..

I was a real mess walking into that ICU, as the last time I was in there is when I lost my mom. So that hit pretty hard..

Thanks again!!

 

[~Dan]

OMG, i know i could never witness that!

 

[nootka]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

My mother killed herself with drugs when she was 51...it's hard to let go, but sometimes you have no choice. You did what you had to do, and she will never understand that until she's on the other side of her battle.

Please know my thoughts are with you and I hope that she sees the light and comes out of it.

Liz