Not high falutin enough?????

[bfogg]

with some people who in good faith I feel, and were only looking out for my interest and I do honestly believe that.

They shared with me that because of my excess weight people do not judge me as professional looking enough to be able to do what i do.

One person shared with me that a mother and daughter were so disgusted with the way i look that they did not come up and introduce themselves to me at a horse show this summer As they had said they would. They were very disappointed in me.

I can totally understand this. As people we do judge people by the way they look everyday,for instance what is the first thing we think of when we see homeless people,if we are honest? Fear? antipathy? or digust because they are dirty or smelly? I know my first instinct is to want to get away,one because where we live i had never seen one before and it scared me at first, then, I felt sad.

I guess I am saying I am as guilty as anyone but I try to think, now what if thats an angel in disguise.Not to say i am an angel ! Me no way

:

However it does make me sad to know that people are still so shallow as to write me off as someone not good enough to introduce themselves to because of the way I look, when I realize now I was standing 2 feet away for a good part of the day.

If they feel that way its okay, but I also feel a little disappointed in them as well.

This is why I had my photo put in my ads (as you can imagine I hate having my photo out there, darn photos always make me look fat!) because that way people know what they are getting before hand. There are no surprises.

I don't know what to say except this is me I am what I am (THANKS POPEYE) so I really didn't know what to say to them except thank you for telling me, and caring enough for me to want to help me.

:

:

Bonnie

 

[Magic]

So, because you carry more weight than these people think you should, they didn't want to meet you, and see what you can do????

:

I'm sorry, but I've met you and you have a true gift, and the thought never once passed through my mind that you should lose weight to look "more professional" or anything else.

*I* am disgusted with people who are so shallow that they judge people merely by their exterior, without finding out what is within!

 

[Sterling]

This makes me sad to hear that people out there are shallow enough to still think that way.

 

[Windstorm Minis]

Well, they sure are missing out on a super nice and talented lady - what a shame for them!! I'm sure their "perfect world" is much smaller than the world all of us "imperfect" folks live in!

You are better off without them!

 

[wade3504]

So people only know what they are doing if they are thin?

:

The sad thing is that you said mother and daughter. I don't know how old the daughter is but I'm sure the mother didn't get this way overnight so just think what she's teaching or has taught her daughter.

My aunt pulled her twin boys out of their first grade class when they were little because they didn't like the teacher because she was overweight. She could have been the best teacher they ever had but she pulled them out because of the way she looked. Again what is she teaching her sons? The thing I didn't get is that she was also overweight but it wasn't OK for the teacher to be.

I am in a Teaching Diverse Populations class and I think a Diverse Populations class should be mandatory for all not just for those of us who are going to teach them.

 

[bfogg]

I did not want this to be a knock them thread I just wanted to get a heads up on other peoples take on things like this.

I won't say my feelings weren't hurt but thats not what is important, what is important is that we take stock of ourselves once in awhile to see if we are doing this to others.

And in reality what can i do,change myself (oh yeah would love to drop about a 100000 lbs) but probably not going to at my age so what do i do????

Going to have to think about this i guess.....

:

I

 

[Cathy_H]

Then there are the beautiful people who turn on the southern charm & are as shallow as spit in the wind. Makes you wonder if they were one of them!

:

what do i do????

..... Just go on being you - not what THEY want you to be.

:

 

[stormy]

I guess I look at it this way. Every person we meet is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. If we are avoiding certain types of people, we are avoiding a lesson we need. It is really their loss though, imagine what they are missing out on in life!

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

well I will say this Judging people on looks,finances ect is a funny thing. many times people who say I never do that.. well that may be true as long as they "like" you or what you do. ONce they dont it is amazing how much judgement comes into place for them

:

Personally I will say this.. I am human I do judge sometimes I wont sit here and lie to everyone saying I never do sometimes my judgements were way off sometimes right on target . However usually it is me who missed out on something by judging.

Personally bonnie I think you are cute as can be exactly how you are! Raven is so impressed by you she is sure foxy and you had all kinda conversations LOL and that she will one day have the gift you do.

not much else you can do for those that opt to miss out on finding out who someone is based on who they are not what they look like or what they have.. except I guess feel bad for them

 

[runamuk]

Well I have never understood people judging others by the outside. I am pretty blind to that in all but the most extreme cases (say a person missing 1/2 their face will shock me momentarily). I used to chat with many of the homeless people in downtown Seattle buy them a burger and bring their dogs food I feel sad for their situation but they normally didn't bother me based on appearance.

I am so sorry that someone would feel that way....mostly I feel very sorry for the person who is obviously so shallow and lacking self esteem that they only see people as exteriors :no: :no:

with some people who in good faith I feel, and were only looking out for my interest and I do honestly believe that.

They shared with me that because of my excess weight people do not judge me as professional looking enough to be able to do what i do.

One person shared with me that a mother and daughter were so disgusted with the way i look that they did not come up and introduce themselves to me at a horse show this summer As they had said they would. They were very disappointed in me.

I can totally understand this. As people we do judge people by the way they look everyday,for instance what is the first thing we think of when we see homeless people,if we are honest? Fear? antipathy? or digust because they are dirty or smelly? I know my first instinct is to want to get away,one because where we live i had never seen one before and it scared me at first, then, I felt sad.

I guess I am saying I am as guilty as anyone but I try to think, now what if thats an angel in disguise.Not to say i am an angel ! Me no way

:

However it does make me sad to know that people are still so shallow as to write me off as someone not good enough to introduce themselves to because of the way I look, when I realize now I was standing 2 feet away for a good part of the day.

If they feel that way its okay, but I also feel a little disappointed in them as well.

This is why I had my photo put in my ads (as you can imagine I hate having my photo out there, darn photos always make me look fat!) because that way people know what they are getting before hand. There are no surprises.

I don't know what to say except this is me I am what I am (THANKS POPEYE) so I really didn't know what to say to them except thank you for telling me, and caring enough for me to want to help me.

:

:

Bonnie

 

[nootka]

Y'know what, those types of people are the ones I LOVE to avoid: doing business with, rooting for, or having relationships with.

I'd love to know who they were so I could avoid any of the above with them. There are people like that in this region, too, one "perfect family" that judges you on your appearance, etc. and guess what, though they have some nice stock, there is NO WAY IN H I would buy from them or have anything to do w/them b/c their mental wading pool is about 1mm deep. Yeah they might be pretty to look at/have lots of money but there's nothing else there. I've lived long enough to know that it's not enough.

Not by a long shot. there are many people in the world and when I've met some I didn't immediately think were "oh wow" or something, and gotten to know the good that's inside them they have become beautiful somehow/handsome for what I know is inside is reflected outside. The same is true for the "pretty" ones as I got to know them and if there was ugliness inside, it became what I saw when I looked at them.

Not all pretty people are shallow and not all ugly/unacceptable people are unworthy of further attention, it's just another form of discrimination and it's pathetic.

I think you're beautiful, Bonnie!

Liz M.

 

[Ashley]

: I hate when people do that. However I do work with several people like that so know what you mean.

I myself am used to that as alot of people typically dont like to meet my because of my peirceings and tattoos all over. However if you did meet me and got to know me, my outside and inside are two totally different things.

I know I have been judgemental of people in the past, and I try not to be but it is there in every human. However I still wish some people would get off themselves and realize they are not any better then anybody else.

 

[Warpony]

If they want to judge me and my abilities by the size of my butt then I don't particularly care to know them anyway.

Humans and the levels to which they will stoop never cease to amaze me. What exactly does the size and weight of ones body have to do with how well they can do "what they do" when what they do is something that has nothing to do with physical things? I could see someone judging my ability to do my job because of my size if I was a 200 pound jockey or a 110 pound sumo wrestler but otherwise it just seems petty, imnature and childish.

 

[Buckskin gal]

I must say when I seen your picture Bonnie I thought you looked like a really cute little lady. You have a look about you that tells me I would love to meet you...sort of a gleam there in your eye!

: I could lose a few punds myself but boy does it get more dificult with age.

I would guess you are short too which makes a few extra pounds really show on us gals. I don't want to judge a person on their looks, just like honesty and simple caring about others.

: Mary

with some people who in good faith I feel, and were only looking out for my interest and I do honestly believe that.

They shared with me that because of my excess weight people do not judge me as professional looking enough to be able to do what i do.

One person shared with me that a mother and daughter were so disgusted with the way i look that they did not come up and introduce themselves to me at a horse show this summer As they had said they would. They were very disappointed in me.

I can totally understand this. As people we do judge people by the way they look everyday,for instance what is the first thing we think of when we see homeless people,if we are honest? Fear? antipathy? or digust because they are dirty or smelly? I know my first instinct is to want to get away,one because where we live i had never seen one before and it scared me at first, then, I felt sad.

I guess I am saying I am as guilty as anyone but I try to think, now what if thats an angel in disguise.Not to say i am an angel ! Me no way

:

However it does make me sad to know that people are still so shallow as to write me off as someone not good enough to introduce themselves to because of the way I look, when I realize now I was standing 2 feet away for a good part of the day.

If they feel that way its okay, but I also feel a little disappointed in them as well.

This is why I had my photo put in my ads (as you can imagine I hate having my photo out there, darn photos always make me look fat!) because that way people know what they are getting before hand. There are no surprises.

I don't know what to say except this is me I am what I am (THANKS POPEYE) so I really didn't know what to say to them except thank you for telling me, and caring enough for me to want to help me.

:

:

Bonnie

 

[capall beag]

"Then there are the beautiful people who turn on the southern charm & are as shallow as spit in the wind"

These are the people that scare me!!!!

:

Although I feel badly that someone would be so insensitive to you about something as unimportant as your weight at least you know where you stand with them!

It is not only about how we look that we are judged though.

I know that I am an individual and refuse to water myself down to accomodate others and to fit in!!

More often than not I find myself chatting with a bunch of mothers and I find their conversation boring, shallow and downright absurd! Like obsessing over the shade of their new hair color or their daughters new curtains or the cost of their new coat

:

:

I can't help myself and normally say something shocking like "Oh, I don't even brush my hair!", they laugh but I know what they are thinking "How strange!" But the thing of it is you can't please all the people all of the time!

I honestly think someone who is so offended by a strangers weight that they can't even bring themselves to greet them has HUGE issues with themselves.

What a huge loss!

I have found the more variety of color, shape, style etc in my garden the prettier the overall view the same is true of the people you meet!

If everyone was a perfect sunflower life would be awfully dull!

 

[bfogg]

"Then there are the beautiful people who turn on the southern charm & are as shallow as spit in the wind"

These are the people that scare me!!!!

:

Although I feel badly that someone would be so insensitive to you about something as unimportant as your weight at least you know where you stand with them!

It is not only about how we look that we are judged though.

I know that I am an individual and refuse to water myself down to accomodate others and to fit in!!

More often than not I find myself chatting with a bunch of mothers and I find their conversation boring, shallow and downright absurd! Like obsessing over the shade of their new hair color or their daughters new curtains or the cost of their new coat

:

:

I can't help myself and normally say something shocking like "Oh, I don't even brush my hair!", they laugh but I know what they are thinking "How strange!" But the thing of it is you can't please all the people all of the time!

I honestly think someone who is so offended by a strangers weight that they can't even bring themselves to greet them has HUGE issues with themselves.

What a huge loss!

I have found the more variety of color, shape, style etc in my garden the prettier the overall view the same is true of the people you meet!

WOW what a nice way to think of things! I remember a quote somewhere of someone who said put all the peole in the world in a blender and we would all come out coffee colored ad how bland would that be!

i have not forgotten that quote over the years.!!!

Thanks

Bonnie

If everyone was a perfect sunflower life would be awfully dull!

 

[lvponies]

You mean that there are actually people in this world who would miss out on meeting and talking to someone simply because they don't like the way they look?? That's amazing to me. What does the way one looks have to do with the actual person you are inside?? Guess they've never heard of not judging a book by it's cover!!

Bonnie.....I am really sorry your feelings were hurt by this, but really, in the long run, you're much better off not knowing them at all!! Who on earth would want such people as friends? As Bonnie said....I am who I am. Don't like it......tough!!

 

[Jess P]

That is very rude of those two people!

When I see your photo in ads you have always looked like a very nice person whom I would rather do business with than one who looks like they are there for just the money.

WE LOVE YOU.

 

[Relic]

Well l'm glad you have your picture posted and l saw it in the journal and thought you looked very kind with twinkling eyes and was happy to have a face to put with the voice on the phone. But l did have you pictured before that as being very dark haired with bright red lips for some reason...to much TV l guess. :lol:

 

[NMMack]

I must say when I seen your picture Bonnie I thought you looked like a really cute little lady. You have a look about you that tells me I would love to meet you...sort of a gleam there in your eye!

: I could lose a few punds myself but boy does it get more dificult with age.

I would guess you are short too which makes a few extra pounds really show on us gals. I don't want to judge a person on their looks, just like honesty and simple caring about others.

: Mary

I thought the exact same thing Mary!

:

I know that I would run up and have to hug the stuffin's out of her right away! Bonnie has that look that says "lots of love, and willing to share!" That Mother and Daughter really missed out!

Nancy

: