Life choices.

[tigeresss]

In 2006 I graduated from post secondary school (highschool) and a couple months after that I had a surgery which took me three months to recover from, a few other health things happened and then another surgery in the summer of 2007. I was planning on going to post secondary school (i.e. college or university) in January of 2007, as I would be in England for the fall semester, which began in September 2007.

Time rolled around and I had no clue which courses to take and so have still not gone to school. That was fine but now it's 2008, my friends are nearly done their degrees and I have done nothing. I am starting to feel like a total failure/loser in life.

My problem is I can't make a choice. I HATE (with a passion) repetition and so I don’t want to be in any career that involves repetition. It drives me mental even just thinking about it, as my current job (at the airport in currency exchange) is repetitive. I know only I can choose what to do with my life but I just feel so helpless. I know I need to go to school and get a degree for ME otherwise I will not be happy, nor will I be able to live the life I want to live. Money is not something that matters to me, but I do not want to be living pay cheque to pay cheque. I want to be able to be independent (i.e. my own money and not relying on a husband), have my own house, have my pets, and be able to go on holidays without worrying about money. That said I don't want to be rich, it's just not something I want.

I just keep flip flopping between ideas every five minutes it seems. One minute I wanted to be into business but then I decided I'd rather be a nurse, then I thought well heck I should try for a doctor; then I decided that would be too much for me (emotionally and physically...I don’t want to be working stupid hours for the rest of my life, I want to be able to LIVE). Then I thought that maybe I could do something in the trades but that idea just scares me. Then what I thought that I really would've liked to do is to do kinesiology and/or dietetics and then open up a sort of health/wellness place. Basically a place where people could come have their diet taken care of by a dietician, and also a place where people could do some sort of exercise program. The dietician and kinesiology programs are both very science related and to be honest I am not sciencey at all. Math and science are subjects that are very hard for me, math especially. None of it makes sense to me and I just find it very hard. English, law and psychology on the other hand I had about 98% in all those classes.

I want a job that I'm not a slave to. I hate the city life and city people (no offense to anybody), I don't want to be only living my career. I want to be happy when I go to work and I want to be able to leave my work at work. I want to be able to work sensible hours (i.e. not 60-70hour weeks) so that I can spend time doing whatever I want.

I think that subconsciously I'm terrified of the idea of failure. I know that whatever I choose I will need to be doing some maths and that just scares me to the point of tears and I'm not even in the programs yet! For my mind I suppose it's easier to put it off rather than go there and fail, but for me I would rather try and fail than not try at all.

I just, I just don't know what to do and I feel like I'm running out of time. I feel like I'm wasting my life and it's starting to bring me down.

 

[Miniv]

WHY do you have to decide what you are going to do with the rest of your life NOW????

Isn't there a college you can attend where you can take your basic required courses FIRST? And while taking those courses you can think on your major.

BTW, it's a good possibility that you will either change your major at some point OR end up changing your profession at some point in your adulthood. So please don't feel like any decision you make now is set in stone.

 

[Feather]

Been around this very problem many times helping young folk select a path into the world beyond.

In the states there are several really great small schools very few people find. Two come to mind in Colorado. One is in Colorado Springs & another in Durango. Both are "Liberal Arts" schools. They believe in building character into a person and then that person will find their own path into a very successful life. A well rounded education of the person is presented & only short spurts of specialization are entered during school.

Is it successful; just look at where the Alumni are & decide for yourself. Its a who's who of the movers & shakers. Many great PHD's are on the waiting list to teach at these schools.

Might look for a similar school with a strong "Liberal Arts" emphanises on building the "Whole Person" in your arena of schools?

 

[Mona]

Maryann said just what I was thinking. You need to get ion there now for the basic ciurses, and then decide on something later. Chances are, no matter what you do decide on, you will make future changes anyway. I know, we'rre not much help, are we. Sorry about that, but good luck with whatever you decide on.

 

[Sonya]

Maryann and Mona are right, go ahead and start college and take your basic courses which you will need for any degree anyhow. While you're in school, you'll get to meet different people with different majors and it will help you decide. Good luck.

 

[sfmini]

I agree, start at college taking the required classes, see a counselor and take some assessments that could help point you towards the ideal major for you. Most kids who go to college do change majors at least once or twice.

Also, keep in mind that your job will only be 40 hours or so of your weekly life, and you can have a good life outside of that IF you find a career that pays well.

I tried the school of hard knocks, boy, that didn't pay.

Then, went to Meredith Manor to learn horse training, that acutally paid much worse.

Then, went to DeVry Institute of Technology and got a Bachelors degree in Information Technology.

Mentally challenging career, pay is excellent, benefits are better, I will 'graduate', er I mean retire in 7 years with wonderful retirement pay and benefits. Thanks to that choice, I have been able to own a 70 acre farm with friends, many horses, new vehicles, travel, outstanding health coverage. Sure, the job is a bit of a drag right now, but the majority of my time is spent outside of that job enjoying the benefits of that choice.

Whatever you choose keep in mind you want something that can give you some kind of job security, benefits, disability coverage just in case, decent income.

Good luck!

 

[joylee123]

Been around this very problem many times helping young folk select a path into the world beyond.

In the states there are several really great small schools very few people find. Two come to mind in Colorado. One is in Colorado Springs & another in Durango. Both are "Liberal Arts" schools. They believe in building character into a person and then that person will find their own path into a very successful life. A well rounded education of the person is presented & only short spurts of specialization are entered during school.

Is it successful; just look at where the Alumni are & decide for yourself. Its a who's who of the movers & shakers. Many great PHD's are on the waiting list to teach at these schools.

Might look for a similar school with a strong "Liberal Arts" emphanises on building the "Whole Person" in your arena of schools?

[SIZE=12pt]The College in Durango Colorado is Fort Lewis and it's really nice not to mention beautiful. Just start with your basic stuff and see what happens as you go along

Just remember in a year or two from now, no decision will leave you right in the same place, always best to start forward then to remain stagnant JMO

[/SIZE]

Joy

 

[susanne]

In addition to getting your basic requirements out of the waqy, a good, well-rounded liberal arts education will serve you well no matter what you do.

Don't confuse universities with vocational schools...yes, it will direct you toward a career, but it is so much more.

You will most likely get more out of your education than your friends who went straight from high school, as you have had a taste of the real world first.

It is very unrealistic to think that anone could decide upon a life's course while still in their teens. Better to dive in and take a wide range of classes.

Someone mentioned counseling and career aptitude testing at college...this is excellent advice. I took the Meyers-Briggs and Strong Interest tests AFTER I had graduated and was out working, and it would have given me great insight if I had taken these during school.

I remember from your past posts that you are very intelligent, curious and thoughtful. I think you will enjoy college tremendously and will have a lot to offer the world.

Remember that four years from now, you'll be four years older no matter what...the question is if you're four years older and educated or merely four years older!

Good luck, and enjoy! I miss school...

 

[tigeresss]

Thank-you for your replies, they really have helped.

I suppose it's being 20years old and knowing that I actually have to grow up now, I can't be a kid anymore! hahaha. Well I've known that for awhile now but you know what I mean!

I realize most (if not all) jobs will have receptiveness within the job. However, I mean the job I have now I sit at the computer all day (also something I do NOT want to do) and just exchange money. It's the same everyday. Sure I do other things that are repetitive like feeding the horses, or eating or having a shower but those are different! haha. I don't mind some repetition within a job as long as everyday isn't the exact same thing. For instance, yes policing or nursing is very repetitive with rounds, paperwork etc but you're still dealing with something new each day. Hopefully that makes sense! haha.

I've had about eight different (and people who don’t know one another) people tell me that I would be amazing doing PR work. I don't really know anything about PR work or even how a person gets into PR work but the fact that so many people have said I would be good at it does interest me. Just the other week I was introduced to (and had a nice conversation with) the owner/CEO of a multi million (maybe even billion) dollar company and even the people there felt I would be brilliant in PR.

Sometimes this math thing just really brings me down. I've had teachers as well as other people tell me I would never be able to do such and such (ex. become a vet, or a doctor) because of my math intelligence. I just get really discouraged, and frankly quite afraid.

 

[horsefeather]

You might enjoy being a lawyer. I would think it would be interesting, each case different and if you get in the right area, it certainly pays well. Just a suggestion. I didn't know what I wanted to do until about age 50. Now I'm 63 and have changed ideas some, now doing what I love and getting paid also. NOTE: I'm retired, couldn't have lived on what I am making now earlier in life.

Pam

 

[JourneysEnd]

I realize most (if not all) jobs will have receptiveness within the job. However, I mean the job I have now I sit at the computer all day (also something I do NOT want to do) and just exchange money. It's the same everyday. Sure I do other things that are repetitive like feeding the horses, or eating or having a shower but those are different! haha. I don't mind some repetition within a job as long as everyday isn't the exact same thing. For instance, yes policing or nursing is very repetitive with rounds, paperwork etc but you're still dealing with something new each day. Hopefully that makes sense! haha.

The key word is "job". Try to find a way to make a living doing something you are passionate about, or no matter what you do it will be a "job".

I had a job for 30 yrs, now I'm a farrier. It's hard, it's dirty, and you get hurt at times but I can't see myself doing anything else.

I didn't figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up until I was almost 50.

Good luck

 

[barnbum]

Deep breath--relax--smile and get ready to dive into your adventure.

I decided teaching was what I am supposed to do after my 4 year degree was done. So I went on for a Masters. I love my job. My degree in Outdoor Ed and Bio didn't hurt one bit.

My kids are your age--Justin is 20 and an Advanced Auto Tech major, a 4 year program. He wasn't sure if he wanted to work on cars for more than a hobby, so started at the community college for Business. That helped him decide he very much wanted to work on cars full time. He'll have a minor in Business, which will benefit him greatly.

Rachel is 18--she graduated from high school a year early. Music was her focus for years--she was accepted into several schools, after many auditions, for trombone. But the sciences kept calling her. Shre fretted much about whether to switch. She choose a college that had both a great music and science program. Then, in August of last year, before she started college, she changed her mind to Bio. (The trombone professor was NOT happy.) She loves it! The college she's at now doesn't have enough to do in the area of extra curricular activities--boring weekends, so she's transferring to a NY college--she'll be closer to home (not that it makes a difference now that she's not homesick anymore) and she'll be able to use a Regents Scholarship she won (she had to be in NY). The school she'll be going to is tough to get into, they have a $53 million new science building, and lots and lots of activities for her to choose from. She hasn't decided what direction to go: Bio, Bio/Chem, Pre-Med. But she's interviewing for a summer job at the Cornell Experiment Station to help with research this week, and she's interviewing for volunteer positions at the local hospital. She shadowed a Med Tech worker over Christmas break and decided that was not for her. All those will help her to decide where to focus.

The seniors around here are told that many kids do not choose a major until their junior year. S0--you have lots of time. Those who suggested you just get started--are absolutely right. You don't need to know where you want to be in 5 years to take classes now.

Many degrees lead you to jobs you never knew existed. After completing my Masters, the first job I had was a Probation Officer. One never knows what's available out there.

Go with your strengths.

It's an adventure. Just dive in joyfully.

Good luck!

 

[muffntuf]

Tigress - been there done that, I didn't start college until I was 21.

Good advice from the others, but I totally understand your dilema. Here's what I suggest - every college has tests you can go take to see where you interest lies, which is a guide to what you would be happy with. I would suggest going to a Jr. College or Tech college and going through those tests, just to see where you might fit in, you will learn a lot about yourself!

Then, since you are the way you are, which I am much like that, taking a couple courses and containing your routine as much of a normal routine as you can, will make taking all the required courses, not so restrictive and conforming to the normal. You just don't sound like a person who can sit in college all day long and then go study. Although I think you will be fine with the extra curricular activities, which is a danger than.

Here's the issue with those of us that it takes longer to find our niche - we like to live to, I mean have a social life, etc. That's a lot of responsibility - you have to be stringent about studying. I suggest making your college schedule not so tight, so take a couple classes only during the firs semester, and then study during the day, leaving your evenings and weekends (expect for exam times) free to do your 'normal' thing.

I would also suggest taking something of interest or in your interest realm each semester to keep college interesting to you.

Here's another nugget of wisdom - college isn't for everyone, but if you dont' have a 4 year degree, you aren't going to get anywhere! You can go to tech college if you like working with computers, computer languages, etc. That's a lot less ramp up time to get a degree, but not a 4 year degree. Your ultimate goal should be a 4 year degree and if you can handle it, a Master's in something, will most likely give you the life you want later. The cool thing about Tech colleges though, most are accredited and you can get most of your generals out of the way and get a 2 year degree! If you check into that, just make sure the tech college is accredited and whatever college you think you might be going to, just check in with a counselor there to make sure everything transfers so you don't have to repeat any classes doing a switchover to a 4 year degree.

After a couple semesters of adjusting, maybe then you can dive in whole heartedly.

As for sitting on the fence like you are - this is going to sound harsh - JUST DO IT! You will dislike me for now, but later will appreciate it!

 

[Ashley]

I am going to disagree here with alot of people.

Depending on what you want to do and how many years you take the degrees are different.

I have changed my direction 3 times since in school. I will hopefully graduatate with a AS next Dec.

That said alot of two year programs have classes specifically for that degree, which means you dont have all the "generals". YOu do, but they are program specific. SO unless you decided to go for more then 2 years you should have some what of any idea what you want to do.

I started in psyc, then went law enforcement, now I am at criminal Justice. I will transfer next spring to a different college to get my 4 year. BUt I cant seem to let go of my other passion, which is counsleing, so I will minor in psyc while I am there.

OH and your not running out of time. I started school at 22. There are people in there 50's on up in my classes.

 

[Sonya]

I also didn't start college until I was almost 21. I went for a very specific career...Air Traffic Control..the school I went to only required an Associates degree to be eligible for direct hire with the government (some are 4). I still had to take an english, math, psych class before I could even start on my atc classes...

 

[Black Magic]

I was so like you.... so very much. My grandaunt (relative of good old Ben Franklin) who at the age of 99 had great clearity, said my biggest handicap was that everything came easy to me, so I had NO self discipline in life and it really held me back. I hated repetition too. I hated most of my education because in large classes they tend to go over everything many times... the idea of school bothered me. I skipped two grades in school... my standardized tests were good.. nothing was difficult. My exhusband has two Ph.D's and five Master's degrees. He went on to law school and most of our friends were Harvard Grads.. or Ivy League. I on the other hand could not make up my mind on what to major in, what I wanted to be or anything else in life.

I ended up seven years after our marriage, divorced... broke... living alone... and getting more help from my parents then I deserved. This turned into a major depression over a 17 year period. Finally I remarried..

I found that my best place in life was as a mother. But I certainly would have done myself a large favor as well as our children and my husband if only I would have had a completed post secondary education with sheep skins included if I would of had the self discipline to pick a goal a degree and go for it... no matter how boring..

God Bless..

 

[tigeresss]

muffntuff-Ayye you have described me perfectly haha. I do love learning but not in a classroom environment. Which is why four plus years of school is so daunting for me.

Ashley is also right, I would only be able to do a few general courses (english, math etc) as fairly quickly the courses specialize for the programs and you can't take the courses until you're in the program.

This thread is really making me feel a lot better about myself and this situation. Thanks everyone! I think I'll make a list of things that make me happy/unhappy and also things I'm very much passionate about. I also think I will go visit with a career counselor and maybe take one of those tests.

I'd be interested if anybody could tell me more about public relations work...anything and everything about it would be lovely!

I'm off to a horse club meeting now but will write more later!

 

[hobbyhorse23]

I think you'll find that there's a world of difference between taking classes that you have to take and taking ones you want to take. Been there, done that! A lot of kids simply aren't interested in the things they are being taught because no one is relating it to their lives and interests and making it meaningful for them. It's like the way a boy who can't pass his elementary school math class can memorize a staggering number of baseball statistics and compare them enthusiastically all day long. That MEANS something to him so it was easy to learn! Find your passion, pursue it, and all those classes you have to take to get there won't seem nearly so bad because they're directly related to getting something you want.

I'm no whiz at science but I fulfilled my biology requirements in community college with courses in genetics which I loved and found fascinating because of how it related to horses.

Math, well, I kept telling myself I was figuring square area for my future barn and balancing my checkbook to see if I could afford that show! *LOL*

It's all about your attitude. You can make the most miserable job fun if you go into it looking for a good day. Make it your goal to get every one of those bank customers to smile just a little bit before they leave! Yes, sometimes it's hard. But in the end your job is what you make it. When you go in, BE THERE every moment and try to brighten the day of those around you. When you leave, LEAVE IT THERE and go do something you love. A lot of us are still looking for that perfect job we can be passionate about...until I magically find it, I'm going to be passionate about how I do my job even if I can't work up enthusiasm about the job itself. It helps.

And as SFMini said, having good pay and benefits makes all the difference in the world. My job is what I do so I can enjoy the rest of my life, it will never be the focus of my life. My bosses may not be fond of that but as long as I work hard while I'm here it's not really any of their business.

Leia

 

[MiniHoofBeats]

I totally feel your pain =) I am at a complete loss for what I want to do as far as work...I know I want a job with a comfortable pay, but I am like you I really don't like repetition...even though repetition is how I learn, I don't like the same thing every day, day in and day out, and that's exactly what i've been doing for 6 years in an office. I tell you I truly miss being a waitress at a local pool hall/bar where every day was different, different people, different things happening, but mostly I miss the people, I am a social butterfly and right now i'm clammed up in an office all day and it's mostly inner business so there aren't many walk-in's from off the street. Very cushy pay but i'm just not truly happy sitting there doing the same paperwork over and over and over again.

Anyhow, I went to college right after high school and completed gaining my Bachelors in Business. I don't have a clue what I want to do in life but, a degree in Business is highly looked upon and you can get a job doing just about anything with a background in business. I would highly suggest even if you don't know what you want to do now, get a background in business as your foundation and then go from there! Your pay will increase with a background in business, and you'll have twice the number of chances of getting hired for just about any job...and then when you find out what you want to do, you can build and learn from there!

Good luck!