How To Rope A Deer

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Robin1

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How to rope a deer....

By an anonymous Gentleman Rancher

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,

feed It up on corn for a several weeks, then kill it and eat it. The

First step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they

Congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of

Me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff

At the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away)

That it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a

Bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it

home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They

Were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed

up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the

Feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at

Me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I

Would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was

Mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it.

It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received

An education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand

There looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action

When you start pulling on the rope. That deer EXPLODED!

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT

Stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range

I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no

Controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me

Off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to

Me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I

Originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as

Much stamina as some animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and

not nearly as quick to Jerk me off my feet and drag me. It took me a few

minutes to realize This, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out

of the big gash In my head, but I then managed to get up.

Right at that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just

Wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I

Figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would

Likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no

Love at all between me and that evil deer. At that moment, I hated the

Thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the

Gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested

the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it

dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize

that there was a small chance that I shared some

Tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I Didn't

Want the deer to have to suffer a slow death.

I managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the

Feeder...a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a squeeze

Chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my

Rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? THEY DO! I never in a million years

Would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised

When I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold

Of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where

They just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its

Head...almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The

Proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back

Slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It

seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely

only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that

Claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of

My right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on

Their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and

Their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that

When an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you

Can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud

Noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually

Cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse.

This was a deer, so such trickery did not work. In the course of a

Millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried

to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run

from a horse that paws at You is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of

The head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being

Twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to

run,it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not

Immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.

What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you

While you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your

Head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went

away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split

Open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty

Good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back

Was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had

Protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest

Place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood

And dust and looking like heck. The guy who ran the place saw me

Through the window and came running out yelling "Oh my God, What

happened ?"

Now, I have never seen any law in the state of Texas that would

Prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area

That they have overlooked entirely. Probably because they didn't think anyone

would be stupid enough to try. And knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law

enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they

may find a way to twist some existing laws to Paint my actions as criminal.

I swear....not wanting to admit that I had done something

Monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by

A deer." I did not mention that at the time It had my rope on it. The

Evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket

Where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face

Where it had struck me. I asked him to call somebody to come get me...I

Didn't think I could make it home on my own. So he did. Later that

Afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know

About the deer attack.

Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and Parks & Wildlife was

Interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely

And accurately as I could ...... "Well, I was just filling the grain hopper and

this deer came out of nowhere and started kicking the heck out of me and BIT me!

It was obviously rabid or insane or something!"

EVERYBODY for miles around now knows about the deer attack (the guy

At the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their

Kids into the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers

Carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people

The story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people

Everyday and as a relative outsider ( "gentleman rancher/city folk" some

Say)...I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind

My back and whispering "There's the dumb-a** that tried to rope the

deer !!".
 
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(Picking myself up off the floor, where I fell while laughing...!)--Oh, Robin, that was a good one!
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Margo
 
I'm thinkin he would have done just fine if he had been to a couple dozen of them Natural horsemanship clinics before he got the rope on it!
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Mark
 
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Glad I could add some laughter. It had me in tears laughing when I read it.
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Robin
 
Oops double post. :eek:

Robin
 
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