nootka
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Wow, Shari, my mother was like that, too, but she was very active in her destruction.
She would say things about people that had a single grain of truth to them, and spread the rumor as quickly as she could. I think her philosophy was that if enough people believed it to be true, then it WAS true and guess what, SHE was the source of the "truth."
My grandma described her as "seeing her life in the headlines" (this was before I was born), and it's pretty true.
For example...she knew my husband's prior girlfriend (well, she was two girlfriends before me) pretty well, and she told me that said girlfriend's ex-boyfriend had showed up with AIDS (this was true). WELLL ... when I told her I was sorry for them/her, but what did that have to do with me? She said to me and looked me in the eyes, "Well, you know sometimes men go back to their old sweethearts. What do you think that means to you?"
She was suggesting that my husband and I had AIDS and therefore my infant son had it, too. She pretty much spread that rumor around anyone that would listen and since I had had toxemia at the end of my pregnancy and was hospitalized, SOME people believed it. It wasn't true....she just wanted people to believe it and she upset her father very badly with that "rumor" and he was horrified/stressed out and called MY father to find out if it was true. My father then had a long talk with me about what was said and THAT was how I found out about all of that!
:
I think ultimately she wasn't trying to hurt ME believe it or not, that was just a "nice side-effect" for her. She was trying to upset her father and she managed to do that pretty well.
*shrugs*
I can't believe sometimes what people do to other people, intentionally and unintentionally. It's huge personality flaws that seem to be the major cause and I think a deep self-hatred that makes them do it. But what the heck do I know anyway?
I just HOPE I've never made people feel the way some of these do.
L.
She would say things about people that had a single grain of truth to them, and spread the rumor as quickly as she could. I think her philosophy was that if enough people believed it to be true, then it WAS true and guess what, SHE was the source of the "truth."
My grandma described her as "seeing her life in the headlines" (this was before I was born), and it's pretty true.
For example...she knew my husband's prior girlfriend (well, she was two girlfriends before me) pretty well, and she told me that said girlfriend's ex-boyfriend had showed up with AIDS (this was true). WELLL ... when I told her I was sorry for them/her, but what did that have to do with me? She said to me and looked me in the eyes, "Well, you know sometimes men go back to their old sweethearts. What do you think that means to you?"
She was suggesting that my husband and I had AIDS and therefore my infant son had it, too. She pretty much spread that rumor around anyone that would listen and since I had had toxemia at the end of my pregnancy and was hospitalized, SOME people believed it. It wasn't true....she just wanted people to believe it and she upset her father very badly with that "rumor" and he was horrified/stressed out and called MY father to find out if it was true. My father then had a long talk with me about what was said and THAT was how I found out about all of that!
I think ultimately she wasn't trying to hurt ME believe it or not, that was just a "nice side-effect" for her. She was trying to upset her father and she managed to do that pretty well.
*shrugs*
I can't believe sometimes what people do to other people, intentionally and unintentionally. It's huge personality flaws that seem to be the major cause and I think a deep self-hatred that makes them do it. But what the heck do I know anyway?
L.