Drunk mother sell daughters mini

[nnadams]

To buy the horse and take it to your place is a nice idea because it would keep the mother from selling the horse to someone else. But like others said, it would destroy what may be the only good thing this young girl has at home and what she has worked so hard to create. I think you should try to hire her to help out around your place. Say that you saw how well she takes care of her horse and you could use that kind of help at your place. You would have to be able to pay her. I am sure she has to earn her own money to pay for gas, food, and all the expenses that go along with being in high school. With going to school, working at a restaurant, taking care of her own horse, & homework, I am sure she does not have any spare time. If this were a simple case of a girl not having anywhere to put a horse and could work for room and board for the horse, that would be great, but this girl probably has to support herself. If you could afford to pay her for her time, it would work out good for both of you. You would have the extra help with your horses that we all could use and you could befriend and earn this girl's trust. She needs an adult mother-figure to trust and somewhere to go to for help IF she needs it. If after you get to know each other and she trusts you, you could offer to board her horse for her if she continues to have a problem with her mother trying to sell it. It would be her choice and not another thing happening to her world that she has not control over. The most important thing is she would have an adult she trusts and somewhere safe to go if she needs it.

 

[AppyLover2]

Hoping for an update on this.

 

[Marty]

Hey Heidi, I don't know about down there, but in this school here, they will not allow messages of any kind to be given to children that aren't yours, and they will not discuss a child with you such as the guidence counsellor, that is not your child either.

I'm sorry I have no ideas or insight to offer even though you all know I detest a drunk.

People are assuming a lot of things here. Sometimes

things aren't as they seem so tread carefully.

I just don't know what I'd do in your situation.

Seems its like a D if you do and a D if you don't.

Good luck!

 

[Taylor Jo]

To think that the mother will not drink again is naive thinking (sorry) but the description of her house pretty much say's it all and not only that by what they said about the horse and the daughter being with the horse. IF they don't sell it to you the next time she gets drunk she will sell it to someone else. I'm sure when she sobered up she didn't even mentioned it to her daughter. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Alcholoic's are very selfish people and this mother and boyfriend have an agenda and that's the goal they want to reach and they want to do it w/o the girls knowlegde. They're MEAN spitful drunks. Being sober they may not do the same, but being drunk it's hard to say what they'll do. They're jealous of that girl and that horse and they will destroy the very thing she loves and they DON'T care if it hurts her.

A. You can either hope and pray the mother does talk to the daughter, which I doubt she will, and contact you.

B. Go to the school counselor and say I know you can't discuss the child but I want to make you aware of the situation, BUT they won't do anything about it, unless the girl complains.

C. Turn her into CPS, then CPS will investigate. The girl will lie cause she doesn't want to loose the only home she knows, as it's better then no home at all, as the unknown is far more fearful, and if the horse is there, she won't want to loose the horse. Then when CPS leaves all heck will break loose cause the mother and boyfriend will blame the daughter.

D. So your back to D. buy the horse, give her a job and let her see her horse. I vouch for this one. She's lived with this her whole life and she's in high school and just about ready to leave home, let her get through school and GET OUT. The GIRL is NOT going to GIVE UP THE HORSE no matter what you say she'll try to hang onto that horse and ride out her mothers wrath. She'll plead with her mother but in the end her mother will win. I can almost gurantee it, it may not be to you, but it will be to someone.

E. My only other thing is she being sexually abused by the boyfriend and that's hard to say. No one can answer that but, the girl. However, then again go back to C.

Anyway, this is my take on it for what it's worth. TJ

 

[Sunny]

Being sexually abused by the boyfriend???!!!! Talk about jumping to conclusions!!

I think this discussion is getting waaay out of hand. NO one here knows the real situation and none of us has the right to barge in change anything there.

How about another spin on the girl's situation..... Despite a mother who drinks, it would appear that the girl has been working hard at keeping herself on track. She is still attending school (which a major feather in her cap, IMO) and getting excellent marks, she has a job, and she does a brilliant job of looking after her horse. Not every parent of a teenage daughter can say that!

I think if Heidi were to go in there and impose her thoughts and assumptions on this situation, she'd just be opening a Pandora's box.

 

[Linda K]

Everyone has made some great points. The one thing I am worried about is that the mother went behind her back once to sell the horse. What if you wait on buying the horse and she sells it to someone else? Maybe someone who wont take care of him. Then she comes home to nothing but the crap she has to put up with at home.

My suggestion would be buy the horse before it goes to someone that doesnt need it, then get in touch with the girl and tell her why you done it and offer her a job at your place. That might be just what she needs to escape the ---- she may be going through. After hearing what the man was saying while you were there, and the way "mom" went about the whole horse thing, I am afraid she is going through more then any of us think.

Good Luck,

Linda Killion

 

[White Socks Miniature]

Sorry guys, Im not trying to hijack the thread! But I have a question...

If the daughter bought the horse and it is in her name, but mom is selling, wouldnt there be some illegalities in there?

I also ask this question as my mom has considered the same thing... no she is not a drunk, but she has crazy mood swings and she has threatened it before, when I was younger, I adopted a guinea pig and she took it to the shelter without me knowing. So I know she is capable of doing this.

I have 5 minis now, and they are all registered under my name and I am the one who has bought and paid for them. If she did go and sell them without me knowing, I am assuming it would be illegal and I would get my horses back and she would have to pay the people back? am I correct?

 

[EAD Minis]

Being sexually abused by the boyfriend???!!!! Talk about jumping to conclusions!!
I think this discussion is getting waaay out of hand. NO one here knows the real situation and none of us has the right to barge in change anything there.

How about another spin on the girl's situation..... Despite a mother who drinks, it would appear that the girl has been working hard at keeping herself on track. She is still attending school (which a major feather in her cap, IMO) and getting excellent marks, she has a job, and she does a brilliant job of looking after her horse. Not every parent of a teenage daughter can say that!

I think if Heidi were to go in there and impose her thoughts and assumptions on this situation, she'd just be opening a Pandora's box.

I agree, your hearts in the right place but I think every one is getting a little out of control. Your all wonderful people for wanting to help the girl though!!Thats why i love this forum so much, never alone in any situation. But maybe its a "have to be there" type thing. Kind of hard to know whats REALLY going on enless your the girl.

 

[Miniv]

White Socks, A lot depends on what the registration papers have on them. I don't know what the rules are with each registry these days, but several years ago a minor had to have a "co-owner" to have a horse under their name.

HOWEVER, a person (mother?) who was not honest could easily forge a signature too.....

 

[White Socks Miniature]

I am 22 lol so it is just me on the reg papers. no co signer. Thank goodness I have a few people that would help me out though! I hope this girl has someone to do the same!

 

[Magic]

My inclination would be to go to where this girl works and talk to her about what happened. Offer to buy the horse so that it will be safe. Yes, she loses the comfort of having her horse at home, but how long might that last anyway? AND--- I also think that, especially as cheaply as this horse has been offered, there are a lot of us who could donate toward the cost of the horse so that the girl could get him back as HERS. I truly do think that losing this horse would be a devastating blow to her (it would have been to me, at that age). Anyone else willing to donate if it comes to that?

 

[_minihorses4ever_]

My inclination would be to go to where this girl works and talk to her about what happened. Offer to buy the horse so that it will be safe. Yes, she loses the comfort of having her horse at home, but how long might that last anyway? AND--- I also think that, especially as cheaply as this horse has been offered, there are a lot of us who could donate toward the cost of the horse so that the girl could get him back as HERS. I truly do think that losing this horse would be a devastating blow to her (it would have been to me, at that age). Anyone else willing to donate if it comes to that?

I agree. I am around her age, and I know I would not be happy if someone bought one of my horses "out from under me". Ecspecially if I had horrible parents, and my only escape was my horse. I honestly would probably loathe the person that did that. Maybe offer to keep the horse at your place or make sure the horse is somehow in her name (Or atleast not her parents?)? I don't know, but I think buying the horse without even speaking to her first would not be stepping it off on the right foot.

Just a fellow teen's opinion here..

 

[LittleRibbie]

Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi

 

[Taylor Jo]

I'm sorry if I stepped on any toes. I didn't say she "was" I said she could be. That is the reality in a LOT of cases where the mother is a drunk and the boyfriend is in the home.l SORRY, BUT oh so true soooo many times. BUT, I will keep my mouth shut, I'm just not naive. However, I know it's NOT in EVERY situation. I am happy the mother gave the girl the phone number. I am surprised, she'd got more substance to her then I gave her credit for her and for that I feel bad. I don't have a very high opinion of mothers who are like that. I'm grateful the girl called and hope something can be worked out between the two of you. Having been a foster parent in the past I've just seen a lot of bad things and it doesn't leave a good taste in your mouth. So I am really sorry if I came across to strong, my "point" was she didn't have a lot of choices to go by for the girl that's all I was pointing out and in that it came across harsh and seeming as if jumping to conclusions. TJ

 

[Miniv]

Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi

I, for one, will be interested in your update! I'm glad the lines of communication are open.

 

[Reble]

Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi

That is good news, keep us posted.

 

[minisch]

I really feel for this girl. I would get involved if I were you. I'd find the girl and tell her what her mother is trying to do. She sounds like she's learned to be a strong individual. I would also call CPS, but see if you can really help her. You could have a major impact on her life, and it sounds like your a nice person and could help her.

 

[LittleRibbie]

O.K. Well I went over today and had to wait a few minutes for her to arrive home from school...knocked on the door and got no answer. I just sat in my car and waited. She showed up w/her girlfriend just a short time later. She said, " oh you could have gone out back to see Pye...Mom is probablly passed out on the couch ." I had mentioned that I didnt want to walk around her yard w/no one home.....and I promised my husband I would not go inside their house..just in case ( he's sort of protective like that )

Anyway we made small talk, school,classes she taking and minis. Her horse looked great. SHE brought up the fact her mother is and has been an alcoholic for as long as she can remember and SHE said her mother is always saying she's going to sell him because her Dad bought him for her. She seemed to know that I originally did come by the other day to maybe buy him. That sort of opened the door to say yes, I did come over and yes your Mom did say he was for sale. I explained to her why I didnt take him home right then and there and she I think was grateful. She told me she lives next door most of the time w/her Dad and Stepmom ( they both have horses) and tries not to spend too much time w/Mom. She said Mom would most likely never be able to get rid of her horse w/o the stepmom noticing B/C she is home and out in her own barn most of the day and would notice any trailers showing up next door. And she said that her Dad would kick her(Mom) out of the house ( its His Moms house that she lives in ) along with the other drunks if that ever happened.

IMO She has lots of sense for a young girl and it seems her Dad and Stepmom really play a big part in her life.

I did tell her if she ever needs a place to take Pye he would be welcome anytime....although she said she could bring him next door to her Dads if needed.

She did promise to come by on Tues. to meet my horses...Im thrilled because I dont get to drive both of my guys very often....she's never driven but Skillet is perfect for her and I can take S'mores...so I think shes as excited as I am.

I didnt mention it to her yet but there is a show in Fla. around Thanksgiving....I think Im going to see if she'd like to

keep me company on the drive up...hubby gets bored to soon LOL.

Thanks again for all your advice...Im not sure I did things exactly the way some saw fit...but...I happen to think its a nice ending.....Heidi

 

[shelia]

I think it is a wonderful ending (beginning!). You assessed the situation very well and did what was appropriate. You listened and let the circumstances take the lead. It was perfect! This girl when gain so much from having a knew friend like you. Sometimes you don't have to do very much to make a big difference in someones life. i think it is wonderful that she has found someone who won't try to push there will upon her and yet be a friend if she needs one.

 

[Rebecca]

Kudos to you for helping out and befriending this girl.

It's great that she'll stop by and drive with you and great to here that Dad and Stepmom are close by. Hope you guys stay in touch and become friends, it sounds like she is a very mature, smart girl who really loves her horse dearly.