Ok. I should probably just stay out of this. I am a Registered Dental Hygienist and my husband IS a dentist.
Now we know why dentists have the highest suicide rate in the nation. Nobody likes them!
And yes, Lyn J is right, a person can get a septicemia from not getting these things fixed. The percentage rate is rather low for occurences but if you are in the minority of those who do get a septicemia, the fatality rate is on the higher side. If nothing else, alot of damage to your heart can take place. Not good either way. I won't go into the details of how it occurs or I might bore you to death instead.
Another option Lyn J, although still a costly one but without as much stress, is to check into whether you are a candidate for having these procedures done in a hospital setting under general anesthesia. They can do many, or all of the procedures at once. Of course there are great pain management options for afterword. Not sure how the price would compare for you but you are pretty high up there in $$ amt as it is.
Most folks think dentures are the easy way out and you don't have to see the dentist anymore. They are costly in their own right and what most people don't realize is you still need to see the dentist regularly even if you have dentures. Over the years the bone level in your gums will recede causing the dentures to be ill-fitted and slip and you can develop painful pressure sores, they require special cleaning and they can chip too. However, it is true that they will never require a root canal.
Just a note to those who have broken teeth and unfinished repairs. Be careful, what doesn't hurt terribly now or is being treated with home remedies can become life threatening abscesses later. Best to keep an eye on those or better yet...I know here it comes...see your dentist.
I too had a healthy fear of the dentist growing up and suprise even myself with the career path I chose (and the husband for that matter!). I have had numerous patients in the chair with fears equal to what you all have shared. I have used nitrous oxide and a fair share of topical anesthetic with or without a injections of "novocaine" to help these patients.
My recommendation...
have your dental hygienist do ALL your numbing before the dentist even touches you!! My husband will admit it, we are much kinder, gentler, SLOWER and ABSOLUTELY use a topical anesthetic before the injection. My patients don't even feel the injections.
Good luck! There's always dentures.
Disclaimer: Although I am a Registered Dental Hygienist it is always important to verify anything I say with a licensed Dentist.