What do you find offensive?

[MiniHGal]

Hi all,

I know we have people from many places and walks of life, so I would like to see some of your views here.

For a communications assignment, I am looking for people of different cultural backgrounds to tell me what they find offensive. What "words, phrases, and common forms of speech" do you disapprove of others using, and why? What words do you wish people you use instead?

If you can give me some aid here, that would be awesome! And of course, all people mentioned in the assignment will be anonymous (Person A, etc).

I would be interested for myself knowing what others find offensive, anyway! Opens your eyes a bit, you know.

 

[Alex]

I will be sending you a PM!

 

[Charley]

I do not like swear words. They are just unnecessary. OH! I don't use them and I think less of people who do.

 

[Shari]

This is not a race thing... but sure happens in every walk of life.

I find it Offensive when normal people go out of their way to be rude, knock down or so on.. handicapped people.

And...

At the same time... seen some Handicapped people with a big chip on their shoulders be just out and out rude.

There are other things I do not like but I would send you a PM.

 

[heart k ranch]

Offensive, I really don't get offensive very offend.

I don't like when people cuss. I understand one once in a while but not one in every sentence.

People that are just plain rude,and two faced.

I guess that is it for me, I guess most of the stuff I put was a respect thing for me.

 

[MiniHGal]

Thanks to those that replied...definitely helpful! Shari, if you would like to send a PM that would be great!

Anyone else? Oh yes, and what would you recommend to say instead (if it is something that CAN be replaced acceptably)?

 

[Jill]

I don't think I'm all that easily offended.

Years ago, someone did really offend me (I was furious). I had scheduled a dinner seminar at a local Italian restaurant. The owner of the restaurant was a man who coincidentally was business partners with his daughter (as my father and I are business partners). We arrived and my dad was unloading our equipment and the owner asked him something about when the different foods should be served and I started to answer and he went back to reading his paper back book as I was describing when / what / why. OMG!!!! How rude! I don't know if this is just one rude individual or a cultural thing about women not having authority or WHAT. I guess he didn't pay a lot of attention to who signed the contract (ME) and who was going to write the check...

Along the same lines, my parents used to own a dozen or so residential rental properties and there was one tenant from another nationality who only would speak to Mr. Don (my father) when something needed to be discussed. He would not deal with my mother. Very annoying.

I do not appreciate loud obnoxious (vulgar) music in parking lots or places where other people are subjected to it. Even back when I was a teenager, I would always turn down my trashy (Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, Vandals) when anyone else might have to hear it.

Something I do appreciate about a lot of the youth I know is that most of them are so respectful, mature and so articulate. It is a pleasure to speak with many of them. Especially if they DON'T call me m'am (oh that makes me feel old!).

 

[Basketmiss]

I get offended when we are in a public place with our kids and someone comes up cussing loudly or some kids are making out!! totally not appropriate!

When we were first married we went to buy a new car and the business manager wouldnt even look at me being the woman!! Even though I was the one who pays the bills and knows what we can and cant do and so on. After he kept ignoring me we walked!

The next place and everyone since then, my husband looks them straight in the eye and say She is the one doing this deal so you better speak to her!

Loud vulgar music in places like the park where there are lots of little kids, I cant stand that..

pretty much anything that takes away childrens innocence before it should happen makes me mad. kids have all their life to do THOSE things but only a short time to be kids and not have responsibilities and such..

 

[minimama]

I get offended at people being rude to each other. Especially co-workers in front of customers. I am also offended by teens wearing their pants so low their underwear hangs out. Ticks me off to no end on that one. People smoking around children and in entrance ways to buldings where other non-smokers have to walk through their cloud to get in. Here it is illegal but occasionally you still see someone doing it and that makes me angry and very offended.

As far as words, cussing around children is offensive. Black people calling each other the "N" word is very offensive to me. Girls calling each other "B_ _ _ _" is offensive.

Ok I guess I am easily offended. But there it is. As far as words to put in their place, well, how about their names. Hey Joe instead of Yo..."N" would be very pleasing to hear.

 

[Marty]

I get offended by people who use the word "retarded" to make fun of people

I can't stand people being called "retards"

Having been around mentally retarded kids it really boils me to no end when that phrase is loosely thrown around. There's plenty other words to use.

I too have trouble with boys showing me their butt cracks. You'd think the whole male world was practicing to be plumbers. I have no desire to see anyone's butt cracks with or without butt pimples. For petes sakes

PULL UP YOUR PANTS

 

[minih]

The word I find most offensive, and I have used in a rare instance just to prove how really very upset or mad I am at the moment is the four letter F word. Even then it doesn't roll off my tongue easy, so it is a word not used.

Going off of Jill's thread about offensive behavior, it was time to trade vehicles in our family, we had a green Ford Aerostar minivan, was wanting to look at some Jeep Cherokee's, this was back about 10 years ago. Both our names were on the vehicle but it was the main one I drove. So Jay told me to he had heard this car dealership was having a sale and to go check it out and see what kind of deal I could get. I get out of the van and ask them to see what they would give me for trade in, he hands me a business card (the owner)and tells me to have my husband come by and discuss it with him. :arg! I tore his business card up in front of him and told him not to worry about the trade in on our van, we would be looking elsewhere. And we did. I found a really nice Chevy Astro Van that I put over -100,000 miles on. Have never gone back to that dealership.

I also do not care for public displays of affection, I don't mind hand holding or walking arm in arm, but the kissing and smooching in public is not something I enjoy watching.

Something else that offends me are people who put on airs and in no way should.

And do not ever hurt my children by word or deed.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Racial slurs really offend me, and another thing that offends me is when people use a person's color as a descriptor for no particular reason, such as "and then this black lady came in the store, she was really nice, and. . ."

 

[Sonya]

I do not get offended at all...I don't think there is anything anyone can say to me that is offensive...working in a primary male field, the talk I am around (and admit play a part in) would be considered highly offensive to the average person probably. The cussing is rampid (I also play a part in that too) major cussing...to me they are just words and they don't mean a whole lot. It is often our only means of letting off steam. Actions are what I take offense too....treating people with disrespect, etc.

Racial slurs can be offensive to me depending on their text, but again they are just words..actions are what speak.

The word "offensive" is such a vague word...who decides what is offensive anyhow? What someone finds offensive, I may not at all...and vice versa. Offensive words differ from country to country...there was just a thread about it not too long ago here..I can't remember the specifics, but many things we say here in the U.S. do not have the same meaning as they do in Europe...one word was b*u*gger. Here in the U.S. we use it totally different than what they do in England...here it is a harmless word meaning an annoying person/thing, but not there. The actual defination of the word when you look it up, is not at all how we use it here in the U.S.

Who actually decides what is offensive? Only the person who thinks its offensive, that's who...

A tough subject for an essay...because it all depends on who you talk to...there are not "facts" of offensive, just opinions...

Good luck.

 

[Minimor]

I really dislike it when the words "thank you" are responded to with "no problem". What's wrong with saying "you're welcome"??

If a government employee or a store clerk replies "no problem" when I say thank you, I am very close to pointing out that I would hope that it's no problem, considering how they are in public service and all.

 

[_minihorses4ever_]

I am another one that could live without the cussing. Honestly, there are so many other ways to expressive your feelings appropriately..

And the saggy pants as well! Guys my age think we want to see their butt cracks or something. WE DON'T! EW!

And people making fun of people who are "different". Go pick on someone your "own size". I have met many people with retardation problems, and they are some of the sweetest people I have ever met. We all have so much to learn from them!

 

[Nigel]

I too have trouble with boys showing me their butt cracks. You'd think the whole male world was practicing to be plumbers. I have no desire to see anyone's butt cracks with or without butt pimples. For petes sakes

PULL UP YOUR PANTS

Yes, I completely agree. Pants were made to cover up, not to sag down past your butt! That was a great video, i laughed so hard!

 

[Sonya]

butt crack pants I do not really find offensive...although I think it looks stupid as ever...butt crack pants are not any different than the low cut tops that many women choose to wear with their boobs hanging out. I don't want to see either, so I just don't look.

 

[Cedar Ridge Farm]

I sent you a PM....good luck with the assignment.

 

[dangerranger]

I once saw a bumper sticker that read "Nuke the gay whales for Jesus" that had something in it to ofend anyone! but really the people that offend me most are the biggots that make bold statements and then just asume that I feel the same as they do and are willing to do as they do also. [ because Im a white male.]DR.

 

[Jill]

I thought of something that does offend me, and that's when others are aggressive with pushing their religious beliefs and use those beliefs or bible quotes to justify their own bigoted opinions.

And, I guess not to miss the opportunity to cause offense, but sincerely... in my personal life and in business, the people I've found to be the most dishonest are the ones who thump their bible the loudest.