Very good friend diagnosed with cancer

[hhpminis]

I dont expect anyone to say or do anything I just need to write this out and hopefully sort through some feelings.

My very dear friend, just over 30 years now was recently thought to have been having small strokes. She would have little black outs and this is what they thought so they sent her to get some tests, MRI etc. We find out on Monday that they were not strokes but wnated her to go see a neurosurgeon today for further results.

Well, the news arrived about 4 this afternoon. I dont know much yet and am scared to death. I do know she has a brain tumor and that the blood tests show that she has cancer. I am not sure if this means she has brain cancer, or a brain tumor with cancer eslewhere or what exactly we are up against.

This woman and I have been through a lot together and this just makes me sick. Our children were playpen partners and her son and my daughter are seriously involved for the last 3 years after being good friends all their life, so this makes an even bigger effect on things.

I have known 2 people with brain cancer and it was just awful, I am just sick thinking that this wonderful friend will have to go through what I have seen many go through. I am sure advancements have been made in treatments but it just is scary.

I dont know what to say to her, I dont know what to say to her son, and I dont even know what to tell myself.

Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Linda, I dont know what type of cancer your husband is dealing with but if you have any words of wisdom please share. What do you ask a doctor, what options are there. Where do ou go from here?

 

[mininik]

I'm so sorry... and as usual, I don't know what to say. News like this always makes me feel numb and then scared for the people involved. I'll be keeping you and your friend and your families in my thoughts. (((HUGS!))) :no:

 

[CMR]

I know it's not of any comfort, but I am so sorry to hear about it.

Someone in my distant family has a brain tumour, they said he doesn't have long to live, but he is still living normally. He is not hooked up to machines or in the hospital, so at least he can live the end of his life to the fullest. I would look other places besides just western medicine(I don't mean in replace of, I mean in addition to.) Reiki helps with healing, although I don't know if it can do anything about brain tumours. Eastern medicine does have things to offer, and might even help some. Again, I am very sorry to hear about this

 

[Roxy's Run]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. (((HUGS))) to you both. But on a lighter note. My mother had Non-Hodgekin's (sp?) Lymphoma of the small intestine 15 years ago. After surgery to remove a tumor that had totally closed off her intestine and chemotherapy I am happy to say that for the following 15 years to this very day, she has remained cancer FREE!!! :aktion033: The one thing I have learned from my mother and going through this horrible time with her, is that half the battle if not more is a person's attitude. Mom never gave up and always was optomimistic about her outcome. Yes, there were extremely hard times, and she suffered quite a bit, but she made it through. I hope and will pray that your friend has the same outcome as my Mom.

Linda

Roxy's Run Miniatures

 

[Linda_H]

To hear the word cancer is a frightening thing to say the least But it is not the death knell it used to be. I have learned a lot not just from our personal experience- Rick has head & neck cancer with an unknown primary site that metastisized to a node in his neck.

I also work at an acute rehab hospital & many of our patients have been diagnosed with brain cancer The prognosis really depends on the type of cancer, where it is and if it has metastisized to the brain from another site

It is hard to know what to say but it means a lot when someone tells you that you are in their prayers, that you are available as a listenijng ear, a hug, and maybe just a person who can sit with you when you cry.

Offer to help with errands, take her to appointments etc. Most of all be honest and sometimes just being there

There are so many new treatments - each day they are discovering new ones We have gotten so many messages from survivors and know that support from others is a blessing

Please feel free to PM me anytime

 

[hhpminis]

Well a little more info.

They are quite sure the tumor is cancer. Although they believe it started somewhere else and has spread from the original spot. She is going in for a body scan and to the gynecologist for more tests to try to determine the starting point. I guess this is instrumental in treatment to find where it started. They are hoping to be able to biopsy the source rather than invade the brain for it.

I still have not talked to her, just my daughter and her son. I will try to get her to talk to me.

 

[lyn_j]

[SIZE=14pt]I am so sorry for you and your friend Annette..... Linda has pretty much summed up the diagnosing, treatment and prognosises for you. Just let her know that you are there for her. Laugh with her, cry with her , hold her...The beginning is always somehow the worst. Not knowing exactly where everything stands is terrible. Seems like once you know whats going on, you can prepare yourselves to withstand whatever comes. Having good friends and family to walk the road with you means everything. God be with you all.[/SIZE]

Lyn

 

[user 488]

I'm so sorry. Your post just hit a spot in me as I went thru a very scary time with someone myself.

Really can't say anything more than what's already been said. Just terrible!

Carol

 

[runamuk]

I am so sorry......here is what I know about cancer......many in my family have died from it but not without a fight......and my sister spent 7 years as a nursing aide in oncology at a hospital.........support your friend...help her fight this thing...the people who have good outlooks positive attitudes and alot of fight in them either beat this thing or put it into remission......remind her what she has left to do...and most of all continue to be her friend.....people with something to live for tend to live longer..just something I have noticed.

:

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I know how very scary it is. My father had a brain tumor about 5 years ago now. It was the worst feeling ever when I heard I wished it could have been me instead of him. He is a success story, they were able to get the tumor out in fact while scary my dad being my dad would joke about brain surgery. He has changed a bit since then nothing to bad but his short term memory is pretty much shot however other then that he has made a full recovery, not sure that helps you much other then give you hope.

 

[Sonya]

I am so sorry about your friend. Cancer is so scarey. You've been friends for a long time and you'll know what to do when she needs help - maybe clean her house for her, run errands, make dinners for her - normal everyday stuff that she'll need help with. Sending prayers for your dear friend.

 

[bfogg]

Find her a Reiki practioner who can attune her and then she can work on herself if you don't have one around feel free to call me and I will attune her for free, it helps on all levels . It has worked miracles and will at the very least make her comfortable on all levels.

Good luck and I am sorry to hear the news she is lucky to have you as a friend.

Bonnie

 

[shane]

IM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN :no: I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY

 

[hhpminis]

Well I talked to my friend this morning. She is in good spirits and told me that she has been prepared for this and thought that this was the situation for some time now.

She is just going to take one day at a time. She has a dr appt on Monday and they will discuss the approach to take. I did not ask but am thinking that surgery is not an option. They have put her on anti siezure meds and she is not allowed to drive.

Knowing she has a good attitude is settling to me as she is not always that way, so this is good. I am sure there will be days that the attitude is not good but I will be there for those days and she has a very close family as well. I have been a part of their family for a long time. Friends with all 4 daughters, and the parents have always included me as one of them.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I know there will be tough times ahead for her and I may need to throw some frustration into written words. I know you guys are always here and that is very comforting.

: thank you

 

[Buckskin gal]

Will pray that your friend recovers. It is so hard to know just what to do when a loved one is facing such a huge illness. She is very lucky to have such you for such a dear friend. Hugs, Mary

 

[sedeh]

I'm so sorry for you and your friend. We just lost a friend to brain cancer and she was way too young. Brain tumers are often metastasis from a primary site. I also think that waiting until you know what your up against is the worst! You always think the absolute worst. Things have improved greatly in cancer treatments. Just be there for your friend and try to treat her like "normal". My prayers are with her.

 

[Miniv]

Annette,

I'm so glad you finally connected with her. Wish I had words of wisdom. All I can tell you is that I'll be sending out a prayer for her and her family. And I guess all you can do is be a friend.

BTW, Reiki isn't a bad idea.......and it sure wouldn't hurt.

MA