This is very upsetting to me

[Fullmoon]

I don't know anything about this incident except what has been written here. I do know that 10 years or so down the line if this wasn't addressed and handled properly these could be the next group of sex offenders. My son is one of the main sex crime investigator's for this county and I now work in the Prosecutor Attorney's office and it's amazing how many people don't think the rules apply to them. An incredible amount of people are being raised by parents that really don't spend alot of time with their kids and the only way to prove their love is to come bulldozing in to help get them out of trouble. Excuses are the way it is, not very many people take responsiblity for their actions and the parents are reinforcing this habit. Guess what the #1 excuse for these men molesting female's of any age? "They wanted me to do it". When asked what about them saying "no", it's ALWAYS the same answer - "They didn't really mean it". No matter what I hope these boy's actually learn something from this before it's too late.

 

[mrgizzmoe]

thank you runamuk for clearing it up for me .

but the punishment in this case does not fit the crime. there has to be more to this then what has been release or our courts are more messed up than i thought. this was case of either kids being kids or young men being stupid....but what do i know .....

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I don't know anything about this incident except what has been written here. I do know that 10 years or so down the line if this wasn't addressed and handled properly these could be the next group of sex offenders. My son is one of the main sex crime investigator's for this county and I now work in the Prosecutor Attorney's office and it's amazing how many people don't think the rules apply to them. An incredible amount of people are being raised by parents that really don't spend alot of time with their kids and the only way to prove their love is to come bulldozing in to help get them out of trouble. Excuses are the way it is, not very many people take responsiblity for their actions and the parents are reinforcing this habit. Guess what the #1 excuse for these men molesting female's of any age? "They wanted me to do it". When asked what about them saying "no", it's ALWAYS the same answer - "They didn't really mean it". No matter what I hope these boy's actually learn something from this before it's too late.

YEs that is exactly what I was trying to say!

 

[whiskeyranch]

Everyone has made very valid points here. We all know the court sometimes seem screwed up and that some boys are just little rebels. But all children are our future, and there are future perverts and child molesters all over the place.

I always tell my teens to make wise choices. Because one bad choice can possibly follow you the rest of your life!

And I certainly would not want the courts to hide this information.

What if my daughter was dating a boy that had molested or sexually assaulted someone and we didn't know this?!!!!! My daughter could also be hurt just because we want to protect someone else?? I don't think so, folks.

Inappropriate behavior is just that. Everyone should be held responsible. The kid, the parents, and the school.

I guarantee there is more to the story. The news is not always your most accurate source.

 

[Marty]

An incredible amount of people are being raised by parents that really don't spend alot of time with their kids and the only way to prove their love is to come bulldozing in to help get them out of trouble.

Oh Fullmoon you are so right. Yep and that would be the rich kids with parents that can afford to buy them fancy lawyers.

I have "raised" so many kids that I don't even know where the heck half of them came from! They just seemed to found us and parked it here to eat and sleep and didn't want to go home and I'd ask if their parents know they are here or shouldn't they call etc. I'd end up calling parents and telling them their child is at my house and honestly, some of them didn't even ask where I lived or anything. I tell you so many kids parents are either working themselves round the clock or too busy shoving stuff up their noses to snort. Why they heck do they want children? I've had birthday partys for kids that weren't mine and Christmas gifts for some that wouldn't get any from their home either. It's amazing. But one thing I usually did not do is help my kids out of trouble if they caused it. If they made a mess, they had to clean it up and pay the consequenses . Sure I could have bailed them out of detention after school for their goofy antics but what would that have taught them?

 

[RainSong]

For those interested in finding out more about this from local papers, we have the state-wide paper (The Oregonian) at:

http://www.oregonlive.com/oregonian/

And the McMinnville, Oregon paper:

http://www.newsregister.com/

Do a search and you'll find the articles- and not just the front-page ones. I know the Oregonian has several articles, and we've got the one front-page piece from a week or so ago still sitting here... if someone wants to scan it or whatnot, I can send it via the mail?

Honestly, I'm staying out of it. As a victim, I know my past can count against me (hostile witness type thing), and can color my own views. I have not done enough looking into this to be choosing any side.

The one thing I do have a problem with is the whole "an butt slap isn't molestation." ... It is. And repeated behavior of the sort can serious mess a person up. No, my molestation was not rape, and it wasn't an butt-slapping- but a heck of a lot of unwanted groping, etc. Last time I checked, the dictionary defined "molestation" as an "unwanted sexual advance"... and in my book, someone swatting my butt when I don't want them to counts there. ESPECIALLY in a school setting, around other kids- can you imagine what that'd be like?

I make one exception: If I had been ok with others doing it, if I had been doing it myself... that's a different matter.

In this situation, I don't know what was going on. I don't have a right to judge anything. I wasn't there, I haven't talked to these kids, and I don't know everything there is to know.

But the guy who molested me was sixteen. He'd been abusing girls for years by that point, I found out later. It can start early, and "boys will be boys"- even "it's just a girl".... does NOT cut it. There is no excuse for it.

 

[nootka]

I agree there's a little too much going on with this situation.

Punishment should be swift, and there should be some long-term counselling IMO. I don't think life-long lable of sex offender should be enacted at this point. A lengthy probationary period should also apply.

Unfortunately, as has been mentioned, when sexual abuse is discovered, there is usually a long chain of previous abuse leading up to it, causing the victim to act out and therefore creating more victims.

I would have to say that it should be a large part of psychology class in high school as well as sexual education, for children to truly understand and learn boundaries and personal safety.

If many of these victims get help and understanding, psychological support, they can grow beyond it and not "infect" another generation of abusers.

These boys need punishment, and anyone else who was involved also needs counselling along with them.

Also as Fullmoon said, there's a lot to be said for parental involvement in children's lives. Parents are far too willing to look the other way once they know of or suspect a problem.

Liz M.