This is very upsetting to me

[~Karen~]

This was on the news a couple days ago and it has just really bothered me to no end...

a 12 1/2 year old boy is being punished for going around hitting classmates on their bottoms. His punishment.... registering as a sex offender. Can you believe that?? That is just so obserd. That poor child is going to have to carry that title with him for the rest of his life and it just makes me so angry! He is only 12 years old and alot of children do this out of innocense... in fact our daughter (7) does this to us, and it is all in innocense. Maybe the child needed a reprimand if it was becomming too much of a nuisence, but to have that title slapped on him. By the report, it wasn't that he was carrying it too far, it ws just that it was the bottom he was hitting. The justice system can be so screwed up sometimes, it lets the guilty free and the innocent suffer unjustly.

 

[txminipinto]

That's taking it a bit too far I think. What he needs is a slap on his own bottom!

: I was spanked as a child and I think I turned out pretty good. No mental health issues and I think I'm pretty successful.

"A spanking a day keeps the cops away!" :nono:

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I read about this a couple of days ago. It's actually two boys in Oregon that are going to court over this, but the story mainly concentrated on only one of the boys. According to the article, it's a common thing that the kids do at the Jr High School, yet these are the only two boys getting in trouble for it. They spent 5 days in Juvinile hall, and now they have to go to court for sentencing and to see if they will indeed have to file as sex offenders.

I remember when I was in Junior High school, it was a common thing as well. Boys would chase after us girls and try to swat us. While I understand now that it was probably not a very appropriate thing to for us all to do, I know at the time, we didn't put any thought behind it other than it was fun to run from the boys. It was never in a "touchy-feely" or sexual way. Never in my wildest dreams would I consider what they did a danger to society, then or now.

Such a sad thing that they don't have anything better to do than to prosecute these two boys, for doing what a lot of kids do. I can think of a lot worse things that these two boys could be participating in!

Here's the article that I read.

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/boys-face-tri...724153509990001

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I read the news story on this and apparently this wasnt just one or 2 girls it was several and a couple girls said he grabbed there breasts as well and this wasnt a one time thing..

My feelings are mixed on this.. is it harsh yes it is but at some point we have to stop excusing inappropriate behavior as boys being boys it is not ok. Comparing it to your child doing this to you is really not an ok comparision and I can tell you if a boy grabbed my daughters behind after she said NO or her breasts.(be it her saying NO to him or another boy in the group). you can bet i would want him punished to the full extent

If it takes being harsh for some to get this is not ok behavior nor do I think it is out of innocence he was only going after girls and like I said this was NOT the first time sad but true many 12 yr olds are having sex and they really know right from wrong when it comes to boundries with the other sex - a girl should not have to tell every boy in the class or school please don't touch my bottom or my breasts this wasnt pre school and at 12 it is something they should all know

Again I realize this is harsh but it is about time our society as a whole quits excusing inappropriate/criminal behavior with boys towards girls as part of growing up. It shouldnt be!

 

[Ashley]

I agree with Lisa. At 12 they should know better adn should be way beyond that honestly.

 

[~Karen~]

The only information that we got on our news was 1 boy and his only action was hitting others on the bottm. Wasn't reported whether other boys or other girls, just others. Nothing said about grabbing breasts either. I would agree that the case would need to be handled strongly if indeed what you are saying is the complete story on the situation. But it is taking it a bit too far if what we have heard was all there was to it.

 

[RainSong]

It's on the closest "big town" to me- two boys in middle school... went around smacking girl's bottoms. Apparently lots of the kids do it in school. I've got an article on it I was reading from the paper the other day, but never finished it due a headache...

 

[Miniv]

Yes, the behavior was inappropriate........and SHOULD be reprimanded. But being put on a sex offender list isn't the way to handle it, IMO. There other ways.

MA

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

I heard about this briefly on the news the other day. I personally think yes of course they should punished but the poor kids shouldnt have to carry the title of sex offender. Imagine how thats going to affect them later on. Its sad and I think wrong. Yes they should know better but I don't think registering them in the system is a good thing. what good is it going to do???

 

[RedWagon]

I agree that the boys should be punished; however, is labeling this child a sex offender appropriate? It certainly seems to me that the punishment will far outweigh the crime. "Sex offender" would be a label this child would carry for the rest of his life. Would you want something stupid and inconsiderate you did at 12 to follow you for the rest of your life?

Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis wrote:

"I can tell you if a boy grabbed my daughters behind after she said NO or her breasts.(be it her saying NO to him or another boy in the group). you can bet i would want him punished to the full extent"

Lisa, my child was sexually molested by another child and it was more severe than a grope or two. I did NOT want this child punished to the full extent---I wanted her to get the help she needed. Yes, I said her. The victim was a boy; the molestor was a girl. She had done it to 2 other boys also. She was 9, by the way. I'm not picking on you, Lisa, I just wanted to tell you my story. Sometimes people tend to have more sympathy towards a female perpetrator.

 

[Russ]

Karin, boy there are a few ''adults'' that could use your guidance as your thinking is pretty good in all aspects of life when a person strays into trouble(be it drinking, drugs, stealing you name it any troubles in life and continue to do it over and over and over and never learn from their past)! I LOVE YOUR saying...a spanking a day keeps the cops away....

Got one for you to beat in and out of the ring at Congress.....wear steel toed boots.

Sorry to get off the original topic....just appreciated Karin's good post.

That's taking it a bit too far I think. What he needs is a slap on his own bottom!

: I was spanked as a child and I think I turned out pretty good. No mental health issues and I think I'm pretty successful.

"A spanking a day keeps the cops away!" :nono:

 

[runamuk]

This was on the news a couple days ago and it has just really bothered me to no end...

a 12 1/2 year old boy is being punished for going around hitting classmates on their bottoms. His punishment.... registering as a sex offender. Can you believe that?? That is just so obserd. That poor child is going to have to carry that title with him for the rest of his life and it just makes me so angry! He is only 12 years old and alot of children do this out of innocense... in fact our daughter (7) does this to us, and it is all in innocense. Maybe the child needed a reprimand if it was becomming too much of a nuisence, but to have that title slapped on him. By the report, it wasn't that he was carrying it too far, it ws just that it was the bottom he was hitting. The justice system can be so screwed up sometimes, it lets the guilty free and the innocent suffer unjustly.

My question is...do you know this childs history? You would be surprised to know there are 8 yr old sex offenders..................there could very well be alot more to this story that because it is a minor it has not been broadcast.......minor sex offenders are protected by their age, and they attend school daily with our children. Flame away but I have worked extensively with minor SO's in the past.

 

[Buckskin gal]

Really wish that all of them, be it male or female, would learn to keep their hands to themsleves. It is out of respect that children need to learn early on to keep their hands to themselves. :no: :no: :no: I think it would be going too far to register kids as sex offenders for slapping someones butt, on the other hand, kids do need to be disciplined for inapproprite behavior. Mary

 

[Jill]

I agree with you -- that seems WAY too extreme a punishment.

If he committed a deliberate crime, like shoplifting or vandalism, you know the punishment would be much less severe.

It sounds like he was basically just being a kid in this case. He shouldn't have done it, but give me a break on that steep a penalty!

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I realize you are not picking on me.. and i am sorry about your child.. I have been sexually assulted most here know the story I was kidnapped as a child that is a whole other issue..

I have spent lots of time with teens who have been abused and I can tell you that there are young sex offenders.. it starts somewhere yes help is needed and sometimes the reality is they cant be helped no matter how young they are.

And yes.. IMO i would no matter what the age of the perpatratur EXPECT AND DEMAND FULL PUNISHMENT I would owe it to my own child and to the other victims who may have never spoke up I would hope that they would get help thru that but if not so be it.. my own opinion and this is my own doesnt mean others have to agree is it is my responsibility to help the victim, the one who will live with consequences of this type of crime for the rest of there lives cause for every reported victim of a sexual crime believe me there usually are several others from the same person who have not reported it-

( I realize this was REPORTED as a slap on the butt with several girls nothing more but.. was there truly nothing more? again we will never know the whole truth there only the kids themselves know.. would it effect you if a strange random man came and grabbed your rear in the grocery store and or tried to touch your breasts? Some women would be mad or offended and forget it others would be highly affected but if the person was found and caught... he would be labled rightfully so a pervert)

My daughter was molested as a child (well as a young child) and the abuser was a child of a family friend.. I went to the parents and told them they seemed to think it was ok and normal.. I tried to explain NO WAY was it normal the only way a child that age would even know about something specific like that was if they themselves were victims of abuse- they chose to do nothing I chose to go to the police i fought for my daughters rights and in the end 3 more victims came forward this had been going on for 2 years-Did that child get help I dont know.. I do know they were not free to molest other children for a while anyway and hope the system gave them help and that they will be labeled for life well to me as harsh as it sounds.. not my priority I cant control the help the system gives them but perhaps the label well maybe it will help protect others in the future.

Now dont take me to say that what you chose to do was wrong it was right for you- and I realize that the circumstances with a young abuser are all different and if it was what worked for you and your family that is all that matters there isnt always a black or white answer when children are involved as the victim and the abuser

There were 2 12 yr olds here convicted of rape and attempted murder well i think they are on trial now actually of a 5 yr old girl. it wasnt just something they thought of as they walked past her I assure you of that ... who knows how many others they hurt and who and what they started with and realized they could get away with and pushed and pushed the limits.

I am tired of protecting the people who act inappropriate.. why is it normal behavior for kids these are not preschool kids or kindergarten kids... these are kids who are going thru puberty heck lets be honest many kids this age are smoking, drinking experimenting with drugs and having sex- at age 12 it is not OK to walk around touching girls behinds it is not a game it is not boys will be boys or behavior that is excused cause they are kids not in my book anyway

would it be ok for this 12 year old to walk up to a female teacher and slap her behind?

This is a very sore subject for me I will admit to that but we teach our children they have a right to have there body off limits to others they have a right to go to school and not have to have someone grab there butt or slap there butt however we warn them about adults touching them.. they have the same rights when it is someone there age.

As far as having the label sex offender yep it is a label and one that sticks.. no different then the 18 yr old who is dating the 16, yr old and becomes guilty and convicted of statutory rape.. he may not be a predator (or he might again depends on the situation and who you ask) but that will follow him

I just think that we need to teach our kids about respecting the opposite sex,and no one knows the truth had this kid been warned? could this have been the 2nd 3rd 15th time he continued to do this and he just now got "caught" maybe they tried talking maybe they didnt

Spend any amount of time in a Jr or Sr high school and some of the stuff that goes on is astonishing.. if an adult did some of those things they would be in jail yet somehow the boys will boys thing just keeps it ok just something that really gets me fired up.

It is harsh but this sure is a great conversation starter for us parents to take the time to talk about the consequences of not respecting someone elses body and right to have it be left alone, about attitudes towards boys and girls and about what is appropriate or not. about what you should put up with and what you shouldnt and what you should do if something makes you uncomfortable

 

[mrgizzmoe]

there has to be more to this story.. with what is there now the punishment does not fit the crime...

oh and i thougght the tittle sex offender was held for adults that did something sexual in nature to a child . not child on child but maybe i am wroung

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I just wanted to add...I totally understand Lisa's views. If more parents took control of their kids and taught them right from wrong, then there would be a lot less problems in todays society.

However, I'm sure that anyone of us who remembers what it was like to be a kid, or has older kids, knows that ALOT of children learn things at home, yet they turn around and do what they want to when their parents aren't around. In my profession, I've worked with children from 5 to 15 years of age, and I can't begin to count the times that I've heard "my child would never act like that" or "my child doesn't act that way at home" from parents who I've had to talk to about their child's behavior. I currently work at our Jr high school, so I am around 12, 13 and 14 year olds constantly. I see a wide range of behaviors from groping, touching, cursing, drinking alcohol, giving tattoos, the list goes on. And while I can assure that we would repremand "children" for smacking or touching others in a non-appropriate way, I doubt very seriously that we would ever try to label a child as a sex offender...unless they literally persued someone and tried to force touching onto them.

Unfortunately from what I gathered from the article, it's a common practice around the school and I think a lot of the blame lies with the staff of the school for not putting a stop to it. If they were watchfull of their students, they would have seen that this was a "game" that several students participated in. It should have never reached a point where students (male or female) felt uncomfortable. Sometimes too, kids will allow certain students to do things, yet when someone that isn't as "liked" joins in, it becomes a problem. Not saying that is the case here, but I've seen it happen alot. It's a sad thing, and yes...these boys are old enough to know better, but if they saw other kids doing it, then there's a good chance they would join in. And yes, they should have been taught to keep their hands to themselves. But even if they were, it doesn't mean that they would act the way they were taught without parental control.

 

[Buckskin gal]

I think Kanos Destiny makes some very good points, such as, yes kids can be taught right from wrong when they are growing up but I see kids get into school and they start doing as they see rather than as taught...it is often all about being "part of the crowd" True, the teachers do need to be on top of inappropriate behavior because paernts can't spend their days at the schools seeing what their kids are or not doing. We do have to look at the over all picture because kids are exposed to a lot in this day and age. Even their "heros" in sports often send out real bad signals to kids. In our area we find far too often that teachers prefer to turn their heads away from certain behaviors because they don't want to be involved. Un fortunately we do have a few bad aples in our teaching system that do not set good examples also. It is tough on kids, I am sure, to know what is appropiate and what isn't by what they see and hear going on around them. They may have been patting butts in a playful manner, but it is something they have to learn is not acceptable....we all have to be their teachers and set good examples if they are to be safe. Mary

 

[runamuk]

there has to be more to this story.. with what is there now the punishment does not fit the crime...

oh and i thougght the tittle sex offender was held for adults that did something sexual in nature to a child . not child on child but maybe i am wroung

Mr. Gizzmoe

Sex offender is a label given to anyone of any age that has violated another person in a sexual manner. As was mentioned, in many states age of consent is 18 so an 18 yr old having relations with a 16 yr old constitutes statutory rape which is a sex crime. Innapropriate touching often sibling to sibling of underage children is also deemed sex offender.....however in many if not most states children under the age of consent have closed records and the information is not made public. Depending on your laws in your state will determine which SO's are listed in open records. Idaho has SO's as young as 16 in the open database, whereas in Washington only those over 18 are listed in the database.

Something as simple as lewd conduct....think drunk old man flashing someone ( or even pee'ing in public and being seen)...can constitute a level one sex offender. It isn't a black and white offense......if the conduct is construed as sexual in any way it can qualify.

I am not making light of sex offenses quite the contrary....get to know your local offenders and which type they are. The key is to know if you are dealing with a predatory offender or a more accidental/stupid choice offender.............also children can become very predatory.

Where does it start? Sadly almost every child offender I worked with had been a victim of sex crimes........some were horribly victimized and only acted out with people close to them (siblings, other foster kids in the home) and others were victimized once or twice and became predatory (acting out with strangers...ie...kids at school etc) and yet another was victimized and never acted out or did not act out in a manner that posed a threat to others, what causes them to become predatory, who knows....100's of thousands of dollars and more man hours than one can count go into trying to answer these questions. Can they be rehabilitated?.....I say it depends on the kid and the crime..........most I would say cannot, but I may be a bit jaded as I worked with kids who had been in the system much of their lives and had not rehabilitated in a manner I consider successful. I don't feel there is success if the only reason the offender has not offended is because of supervision, society may be safer but what happens when the supervision ends? Well many daytime and night time drama's can fill in that blank.

So for some the question is what do we do with 8 yr olds who due to being victimized have become predators?? These are "children" who are victims of violent abuse yet they also pose a danger to society.......

The only way to ever get anywhere on these issues is to talk about it.......it isn't going away.....

 

[Marty]

I certainly understand Lisa's views on this and why she is so passionate about it too. She has good reason for how she feels.

But we are talking about a smack on the arse here; not a mollestation, not rape or attempted rape, not even close.

As mother of two wild and wacky redneck boys, I would be mortified if they were charged as sex offenders for this act too. I feel that boys of that age are reckless, incredibly imature, and act on impulse behaviours many times and not have the maturity and common sense to control all their silly and and uncalled for actions. No matter what they are taught at home, given the right cirumstances, it's a toss up of what they will do when they are outside of their parents supervision. Many times people would tell me how wonderfully behaved my boys were; I'd say "huh?" or gasp a sigh of relief that some of what they were taught actually stuck. So many times I banged my head up against a wall teaching my boys to stop and THINK of the consequenses before they acted and hoped they would.

I am not condoning the behviour of these boys one bit. But I feel that act that the boys did by smacking the girls on the butt is not a sex thing as it is being considered. I know here that a lot of the girls at that age also act like "just one of the guys" and are treated like the tom boys they are. I'd be willing to even bet that these boys did not do it meaning to them as a "sexual advance" . These are not criminals. They are wise guys. They are little punks. These are stupid kids that did a stupid thing one too many times and finally got caught.

Regardless, I don't think this punishment fits the crime. I don't think they had any business putting those children, and yes they are children behind bars for a week either. I feel THAT is a crime. I do feel that they should have some serious counselling about what they did and how it effected the girls, just to be sure where thieir heads are really at, and punishment, appropriate punishment, but should never have been arrested like common criminals.

No wonder the courts are tied up for months and years while the real criminals are having a field day running around loose.