Think I am a bad person....but I can't stand..

[crponies]

Jennifer, you are right, it is not always the parents fault. However, many times it is a direct result of the way the parents are raising them. I firmly believe in the principle taught in the Bible that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod and correction will drive in far from him. Many times these kids just need a spanking or punishment of some sort and never receive it.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

I'm always torn in this situation too. Common sense and decency always tells you, "it's just a kid," but I grew up with 16 cousins and worked with hundreds of kids and guess what--many of the kids you don't like grow into adults you don't like either. While I think a lot of the bratty kids out there just aren't getting the parenting they need (and how sad is that?) and many will thankfully grow out of it, for a handful of them what you see is what you get--period. The people that say that all children are angels have clearly not had to work with other people's children.

 

[loveminis]

NO ! You are not a bad aunt LOL ! I understand your being irritated by her.

Does she have an attention disorder ?

Or .....sounds like she needs to learn what a "time out" is.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Jennifer, you are right, it is not always the parents fault. However, many times it is a direct result of the way the parents are raising them. I firmly believe in the principle taught in the Bible that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod and correction will drive in far from him. Many times these kids just need a spanking or punishment of some sort and never receive it.

I totally agree! I know first hand children who get whipped for everything they do, yet it has no effect on the way they behave. It's not always a matter of abuse, or neglect, or bad parenting. Some kids are just more prone to reactions from their parents. A couple of examples...if a child is allowed to act certain ways when they are really young (because it's cute) and then all of a sudden a parent doesn't appreciate the behavior anymore. It's already too late to try to stop the behavior. Also a lot of times, a child is forced to participate in something that they don't always want to do because a parent enjoys doing it. Let's just say that a child doesn't want to help you train a horse...if that child is getting screamed at because they aren't into it, it can cause resentment. This happens a lot with sports. Some kids are just reaching out for attention, behaving badly because it's allowed, acting out because of jealousy, or reaching that time in their life where they're learning who they are. But I've found that 9 times out of 10, it is because of something happening at home.

 

[~Lisa~]

And .... sometimes just sometimes it is much easier to judge someone else's child other then your own.

 

[Shari]

I think it comes down too.. my sister was always the favorite and they even said so. My niece is their Granddaughter.....so now they add her to her favorites. Think in my niece's case... a little discipline would go a long ways to curb some of her bad bahavior but she knows she can get away with it. That is not likely to change. She can do no wrong in their eyes.

The Grandparents all but ignored my DS, he kept a stiff upper lip... helped keep my niece busy by playing her board games. He did not strike back when she kept poking him and so on.

He did not say a word but I could see in his eyes how it hurt him.

Also think they really did not approve of my DH and I showing a firm hand. Both of us were fair but I refuse to let her annoy Mia to the point Mia felt like she had to bite her and things like that. Sigh ~~

Raising children are a lot like raising horses... a firm but fair hand and consistent training can make the most unruly animal more pleasent for everyone to be around. But I don't even live in the same state they do and I have to say... while I wish things were different, I am glad to not live to0 close to them.

They left for the airport almost two hours ago and I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off me.

 

[miniwhinny]

I'm glad the visit is over for you. Seems like there are some deep underlying issues that go beyond this girl. Maybe when they plan on visiting next you need to be vacationing in Hawaii at that time

Don't feel bad...it sounds like there is a lot of unfairness that goes deep that you have no control over.

(((HUGS)))

On a side note...I find it hard to tolerate adults who hit /beat/whip children. There's absolutly no excuse for that.

 

[Shari]

There is a lot of issues with this family sadly.

But my biggest problem is what a spoiled rotten child my niece is...... I shouldn't of been suprised but I guess it caught me a bit off guard. Try to see the best in everyone.....at my age I should know better. Sad I know.

Thanks for the Hugs, I needed that.

 

[Minimor]

I can understand how you feel. I have a small cousin (actually second cousin) that at age 2 was a perfect horror at family dinner. He sat at the table, grabbed for everyone's water and juice glasses, drank out of each & then spewed a mouthful back into the glass. His mom & dad never said one word to him, just smiled fondly and let him continue on. After dinner he ran around "shooting" everyone with a spray bottle of water. Parents never told him to stop, his mother actually encouraged him to spray a few more people. Then he was jumping on/into a box of fruit--peaches or pears--that was sitting in the corner waiting for canning. Again, not one word of reprimand--his grandfather finally picked up the box & took it from the room. Finally his grandpa went into the bedroom & shut the door--simply to get away from this child. His mother (grandpa is her dad) then encouraged the kid to go into the bedroom & shoot grandpa with some more water. Someone else distracted the kid and he then left his grandpa alone for awhile.

I have not been back to another family dinner; I'm not especially fond of poorly behaved, ill mannered children. This child now has 2 younger siblings that I haven't even met--and don't care to, just in case they are clones of their brother in terms of bad behavior!

And yes, in this case I do consider the bad behavior to be his parents' fault. They wouldn't even try to discipline him, and if you're thinking that maybe they had tried and it had no effect & so they'd given up...I'd have to say that I think 2 would be a little young to give up on just yet, plus even if they'd given up trying they wouldn't/shouldn't have been encouraging him!

 

[Marty]

I think some grandparents are the worst offenders of spoiling kids because they don't get to see the kids too much in many cases. Hus was so excited to have a grandaughter come stay and he of course was her hero. The beauty of it all though is they eventually get to go back home!

I can't imagine what will happen when Dan has a baby......I totally wouldn't think of spoiling it now would I????

 

[Shari]

My niece spends half her time with the grandparents. My Dad takes her to her dance and martial arts classes.....

My sister is always too busy.

Last time my sister and her new husband went somewhere for a week and they had my73 year old mother take care of her granddaugther and all the animals.

One reason I love my animals so much.... ..

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

I'm not overly fond of children to begin with, your stories made my hair curl....

He sat at the table, grabbed for everyone's water and juice glasses, drank out of each & then spewed a mouthful back into the glass. His mom & dad never said one word to him, just smiled fondly and let him continue on.

This would have made me leave the table- and never come back. After I dumped the glass on his head.

The neighbors have an "ice cream social" this Saturday. Families from Church come over with homemade ice cream and goodies. I get to bring the "pony"....

so the kids can have a cart ride. Fortunately Sunny is good-hearted about the whole thing. I drive and they get to ride with me. One girl last year processed to TELL me how to drive. "You slap the reins to make them go fast and yank to make them stop." *sigh* Uh, huh... And they always wanna drive by themselves. Not a chance.

I tried to "hide" last year, saying I thought it was on Sunday, not Saturday, but.... they found me. (Next time, hide the car!)

I know it gives the kids a chance to pet a pony, but they drive me crazy! But the neighbors ARE good friends, so I go along. It's only an hour or so...

Lucy

 

[user 488]

Raising children are a lot like raising horses... a firm but fair hand and consistent training can make the most unruly animal more pleasent for everyone to be around.They left for the airport almost two hours ago and I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off me.

UGH! No you are not a bad person. At least not in my book. And I totally agree about horses and children....dogs and children. No consistency No luck. Consistency takes a lot of work....... consistency coupled with fairness and a firm hand. I agree with many thing that have been said here........but most of all MY HOUSE.....MY RULES!

Shari you must be a Saint because I would have never had the patience to put up with what you put up with. I can only imagine how at peace you must feel right now.

 

[Shari]

LOL I have a new project Carol. To paint an Artisty sign on a board.... "My house, My rules" and hang in right where folks can see it.

 

[barnbum]

Shari--use a bold loud lettering.