The Goose is here Many Thanks

[justaboutgeese]

Over the last ten weeks of so there were many hours and many nights that were difficult for me to get through. Finding myself alone after so many years is going to be a difficult adjustment for me to make. I always thought of myself as a person who could tolerate pain, maybe its just physical pain thats easy to take. Demimore mailed me the forum page Marty started to get me awake. Demi has been my pillar of stone through all this mess providing strength where I had none and a cyber shoulder to lean on. Some day when I meet that woman I am going to thank her personally for all the support she provided.

I visited the forum yesterday several times and read the replys and each and every time had tears in my eyes and down my cheeks. All of you had such kind words, thoughts, prayers and even a few wishbones to help me through this ordeal. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Everything from depression to even at times rage over what my wife did to me and our children. My girls are suffering also since their mother has at least for now shut them (and our beloved grandchildren) from her life.

At this point I have not been served with any court documents of any kind and am not able to make contact through her family members. She left with a great deal of money (as I said earlier the checking account had $43.00 left in it) and valuables. My current understanding is that she is out of money. After the torture and anguish she caused by this move I have not a clue as what I should do next. My lawyer has provided guidance on how best to protect myself for the short term but life is longer than short term. weather she is just out of cash or has sold her jewelry and art work I have no idea. I seriously doubt the latter because she seems to have become very materialistic and would wear her diamonds to stand in a soup line so to speak.

Its not easy for me to let go of a relationship that lasted 42 years and my emotions have been pushed beyond endurance. Inside I know in her current state of mind (or rather what I assume her currant state of mind is) she is on an emotional high right now and very near the crest of it. This troubles me a great deal since I have always been there to catch her. This time she gets to hit the bottom alone.

Once again I want to thank each and every one of you for being there for me even after I just shut you all out for so long. Regards Geese

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Way to go Deb!! Well done.

Vic, do not you ever feel the need to apologise.

Only you are standing where you are right now, only you know exactly what you are thinking or feeling.

Just know we are all here for you and are praying for you and are all thinking of you.

As we have been in the weeks before, long before we knew what difficulties you were going thorough.

I am so glad you have your Lawyer onto this, unfortunately these things can go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye.

I just cannot believe that her family would swallow the whole story- there will be the more sensible ones, I am sure, already questioning, if only to themselves, the truth behind the words- so much must not add up that, eventually, she will start tripping herself up and then the whole thing will fall apart.

Does her family know she is ill, and supposed to be on medication??

Oh, enough of this, I am quite sure your lawyer is streets ahead of me.

Just you hold in your heart the knowledge that you are, in no way shape or form, responsible for anything that has happened.

You carry NO blame at all.

And we love you.

Jane

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Dearest Vic, if i have helped I am so happy. Lord knows how much you have helped me in hard times past. Sometimes folks just click be it online or in person. I consider you to be a good and close friend. Lots of our forum family feel the same about many here also. I thank you as tears pour down my cheeks for the praise but you know I empathize totally. You have my support and caring always.

 

[Voodoo]

I'm so sorry about what you have gone through. We are always here for you no matter what, to give you a shoulder or a listening ear. In no way should you feel the need to apoligize. We really miss having you here, but the pain you have gone through is more than many of us (myself included) could ever imagine. Do what you need, but no matter what know that we are here for you and that we love you

.

 

[C & C Farms]

A big thank you to Dimimore and Marty for helping Vic through his ordeal.

Vic, we're glad you came to the forum to tell us what is happening, as you can see all your forum friends will always be here for you and support you. I hope in time your wounds will heal. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and praying that everything will come out well.

(((((HUGS)))))

 

[Sue_C.]

{{{{{Cyber-HUG!}}}}}

After having old, and true friends of ours break up after 47 years, with the husband simply stating "I'm not happy, and haven't been happy in this relationship for the last 15 years," I quickly came to the conclusion that "one just never knows..."

How can we be held responsible for someone else's happiness? We are not magicians, we do not have super powers, we too, are human with frailities, and needs. Happiness is in our own hearts...and it cannot be manufatured by someone else...it is our own responisibility to nuture it. PLEASE, don't feel as if you let her down, she let herself down...and with her medical history...it wasn't really her doing this, it is her "inner-beast".

I hope too, that soon, her family will realize that she needs help, and be there for her. She too, will need a shoulder to land on, when this "high" reaches it's inevitable end. You are right, she will crash...just remember it doesn't have to be you to catch her this time. Could you perhaps call her doctors and let them know what you feel her mental state to be? Just to give them a heads-up? A long-time buddy of mine is Bipolar, (sp?) and has actually been committed several times, for her own good. She too has her "run-away and come-backs"...it ruined her marriage, as her husband wasn't as understanding as you have been.

I ramble on...forgive me...

Just want you to know we are all here for you, and feel your pain.

 

[lilhorseladie]

You know, this is beautiful. Not Vic's story, but the friendships. I have been here almost a year and have seen so many acts of kindness and friendship that take place between people who don't even know each other. There have been both financial and emotional outpourings to those in need. I sometimes get frustrated over the bickering, but this, this is a beautiful thing.

I am so sad that anyone has to be hurt this way, but I am touched to see so many supportive people. Good work guys and Vic, keep hanging in there. Still Praying,

 

[justanothercowgirl]

Ah Vic, I wish there were some wise words of advice I could give you. All I can do is add my name to the group of forum friends who are hoping and praying for brighter days ahead for you. You have a huge group of friends circling you with caring hearts.

Pam

 

[lyn_j]

[SIZE=14pt]Vic I am so sorry you are having this in your life right now..... Leave it to Deb to come to the rescue..... she is a wonderful person and when you meet her you will just have to hug her..... I did! I didnt know this was going on but now that I do feel assured that you are in my prayers. I cant imagine what I would do in your shoes. If God sent you to this He will get you through it. We are all here for you to laugh with and cry with.[/SIZE]

Lyn

 

[ChrystalPaths]

You guys are making me cry again! Oh Vic, can you feel the love caring and warmth in our family here? You will never be alone ever! One of us or all of us will always be available to you anytime day or nite. I will look forward to that hug my friend when we meet one day. Know the door is always open.

 

[REO]

Vic, I read the other thread a day ago and (not sure I can find words) I was struck with such profound pain for you, I couldn't post to it. All my thoughts were of you while I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner, while we ate, and the whole evening. As I fell asleep, my thoughts were of you. I'm crying right now. I'm 42 years old, I've been alive the same years you've been married to her! That is a life time! You can't expect to get over or be able to deal with this devastation in a few weeks or even a few years. I bet you wonder what you might have done to cause this, but NO! You gave of yourself and the best you could all those years. The lack (if any) she felt was NOT from you but within HERSELF. Forgive me, but I'm feeling great anger at her right now for doing this. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better and take the pain away, but all I can do is let you know that you are in my thoughts & prayers and I'm here if you need me.

{{{{{Vic}}}}}

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

Vic, I don't know what to say.... other than I am so sorry!

If you ever feel you just gotta get away, c'mon down to Texas. I have plenty of room for a friend....

Lucy

 

[Mona]

YAAAAYYYY!!!! THE GOOSE HAS LANDED!!!!

I am so glad you have decided to come back...we all wish only the best for you!!

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

Wow I guess I missed a huge portion of all of this since I am totally lost here but I am glad you are back and feeling ok.

Anyway glad you are back among friends and staying strong

 

[AppyLover2]

Goose, I guess after all those years of picking her up when she hit her low spots it's difficult to accept the fact that you won't be the one to do it this time.

But please remember that it wasn't you who pulled away. She's with her other family now and family takes care of it's own. They'll learn to pick her up too.

This AA slogan fits a lot more in life than just alcoholism. I think it can help mend a broken heart and spirit too.

God grant us

The Serenity to accept the things we cannot change

The Courage to change the things we can

And the Wisdom to know the difference

 

[Robin1]

Dear Geese,

Like REO, I spent all day yesterday thinking about you. I really hope things start to look up for you soon. {{{{{{{{HUGS }}}}}}}}}

Robin

 

[mountain_waif]

....

 

[Sterling]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, for strength, peace and eventually finding the light to happiness again....and for your wife...that she finds her way in the world. I'm so sorry this has happened...somehow these things are harder when they happen smack dab in the middle of the holiday season.

Good to see your friends rally around you and I hope the sun shines on you again very soon.

 

[Marty]

Ok now Vic, let's just deal with you now.

Time to get out of "hermit mode"

Let's try to get you to move on to a much brighter tomorrow, cause you know what? It is out there waiting for you to begin your new life but it's not going to find you hold up on the farm. No more sitting there looking at the empty walls, PAINT THEM! No more empty rooms, FILL THEM WITH GOOD JUNK! No more eating alone.....LET'S THE DOGS IN! Put the furniture where you always really wanted it. Fill your home with music, fill your heart up with the love of your children.

Please clean your house up and do your laundry. That would be today, please.

Go take a shower and get yourself to town. You need a haircut bad....

Go shopping! Buy yourself something half way decent to wear please. You're so cute! But you don't look very cute at the moment. Fix the problem. Even super models need help in that department you know?

Now then, shop for food next. Real food. Get a lot and get junk food too and plenty of it. Cook. Bake. YOu do need to eat. You lost too much weight.

Where's your tree? What's this? No tree yet? Get one. Now. Today.

Haul out the decorations and do it up. Dress up that tree and the house too.

No, don't do it the same way it's always been done. This year, do it your way. Do it for yourself. Nobody else. All for you.

Shove a Christmas video in the thing too while you are at it. SING!

Get your daughter over and also the neighbors and make them dinner.

Smile.

You still have your daughters.

You still have your neighbors who are your friends.

You still have your home and an income to live on. Unlike so many of us beauties that if found in your position would be out on the street getting food stamps and be homeless.

You still have a life, so live it. Yes you do!

You are not dead. This is not the end of the world. Sure it's bad and sad and horrible, but still, it's not the end of the road. You can go on. You just need to be lifted.

You are not going to grow old alone which is what has been bothering you a lot too. You won't ever be alone, but you do need to lend yourself too and make an effort to be really alive and not just participating in breathing.

And above all, Timmy wants to tell you something:

"GOD BLESS US EVERYONE AND VIC"

I hope you like Bing Crosby because I think he sang this one for you:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads

And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

If you're worried and you can't sleep

Just count your blessings instead of sheep

And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

 

[Sonya]

So sorry this is happening to you. Aside from feeling betrayed and lonely, it is obvious that you are very worried about her. You have so many here thinking about you and praying for you. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way ((Hugs)).