TaylorJo

[bcody]

I have been thinking of you and your husband, Ihope everything is going OK.

 

[Sterling]

Thinking about you and hubby TJ.

 

[twister]

I think she was going to Nationals so wont be home yet.

Yvonne

 

[Taylor Jo]

Hi guy's. Thanks for thinking of him. I put a little bit on the Miniature horse site but I'll tell you here too a bit more. He "was" diagnosed with cancer in the lungs and liver. However they don't know what kind yet so they did a biopsy last week of his lungs and their going to do the liver this coming Wed. They did a brain scan too cause he's not stable on his feet and they did an abdomen scan cause they said it looks questionable.

He's very tired and hardly eats. I came in from Nationals and ya know when you haven't seen someone for a long time how your shocked at their appreance. Well I was shocked. I almost laughed, screamed, cried and then ran out. Here this person can hardly get out of the chair (his leg is STILL hurting from the treadmill) and he hobbles over and he looks THIN, weak and sorta jaundiced. I didn't know what to do, so I hugged him. I was happy to see him, yet frightend and all the other things too. I can't believe 5 days time he'd changed that much. Now he sits in a chair and doesn't do much, he used to go too the barn w/ me and help now he doesn't do that. Which is fine, I can do it all it just takes me 10-15 min longer and I go back out at night and give them their hay instead of him.

I DO know now I NEED these horses. I need them like I need food and water. They are my life. I go out to the barn and I forget all about what's going on in the house and all it's troubles and love on the horses for awhile. Without that, I'd be constantly worrying and panicing. I've pretty much settled down, what is, is......... God is in control and I can't control anything. I love my husband and want him well, but what will be will be and I can't change that. He has family coming in the end of the month and I'm glad their coming.

Thanks all, TJ

 

[bcody]

TJ, I am sorry. I wish the news was better. As much as you love your husband, and it is obvious you do, you do need that break. I am glad you have the horses to give you that right now. I bet he missed you while you were gone! Sounds like you did very well though.

There is not much you can do but ne there for him and have faith that God knows what he is doing. You and your husband remain in my prayers,

 

[Taylor Jo]

TJ, I am sorry. I wish the news was better. As much as you love your husband, and it is obvious you do, you do need that break. I am glad you have the horses to give you that right now. I bet he missed you while you were gone! Sounds like you did very well though.
There is not much you can do but ne there for him and have faith that God knows what he is doing. You and your husband remain in my prayers,

Thanks so much. I do love him dearly, he's my world. And your right about God. Thanks for the prayers. The first day was REALLY rough I felt awful a empty pit in the bottom of my stomach. I just felt empty without him as I was soooo used to our own little routine. But my granddaughters help me through it. I couldn't have made it without them. They kept me laughing and was whinning so much from being sore from all the walking I couldn't think about much else. Then one of my granddaughters bugged me enough to FINALLY pierce my brain for me to hear her about getting a golf cart. BEST thing I EVER DID. I NEVER will do Nationals again w/o a golf cart...... NEVER. TJ

 

[Sterling]

Oh TJ, I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby. Stay strong....know that you both will be in my good thoughts and prayers.

 

[Taylor Jo]

WELL MORE BAD NEWSSS>>>>>>>>>>> We went to have his liver biopsy today and the Dr who did it told us that he had a Cyst on his Kidney and it was probably causing all the other problems in the lungs and liver and abdomen and that is swollen as well. Another words that is where the cancer probably originated from as close as they can guess.

The Dr wanted to know if we KNEW that and we told him NO we didn't know much of anything really and he said well we'd probably know more Fri about what kind it is and the treatment of everything. We were there from 6 am till 1 pm. after the procedure at 9 he had to wait 4 hrs so I went shopping as he was asleep, knocked out cold from it. Bought a new "PINK" riding helmet as my other one is a OLD like 20 year old bike helmet and NOT very safe. Plus, went to Victoria Secret and shopped in there a little bit, got my stuff on sale, whoo hoo!!!!!!!!

So Friday is the big day. I bought a NEW lime green lace on top to go with skorts that are lime green and purple and blue. AND wear my lime green and blue boots, if it's going to be bad news at least I'll look good....... I'll make sure and wear waterproof mascara. I bought some nice lime green jewerly at Nationals, so ya can't say I won't look good. HA>............. I know it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER what I look like but I want to look good for him. He sees me SOOOOO grubby most of the time at least if he gets bad news he can see me decent.

When I first went the first Dr, asked if I was his daughter, the 2nd Dr said; and who are you to him? Smart guy. Today the Nurse said; and your his daughter? I said NO his wife. Several times when we've checked in they've said; IF YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER FOLLOW ME THIS WAY........ It's funny. It's like OH well!!!!!! That's what I get for marrying an older man and him a younger women. I HAVE A HUGE ROCK on my hand, how they miss it is beyond me.........I guess they're in a hurry and just look at the face.

Well I'm rattling cause I'm nervous. Yesterday I had his family agree to help me buy him a rocker/recliner and I had them deliver it yesterday and he's doing so much better in it. It fits him soooo nice and he's getting a LOT more rest. I've been serving his meals in the chair and he's all nice and comfy now.

I'll let you know what goes on Fri. Thanks for listening to me rattle, TJ

 

[Charlene]

TJ, did the doctor mean the primary cancer is in his kidney? if that is the case, the kidney cancer association has a wonderful website. there are several new drugs to treat this cancer, several of them are showing great promise.

best of luck to you and hubby!!!

 

[Jill]

Spend as much time as you can with your husband. I am sure he needs you by his side, even if it's just sitting beside him watching TV. I know when I had my scare, I didn't want H far from me at all and I don't know what I'd have done without him with me as much as he was. I am very sorry this is going on. I know I am FAR from a saint and it's a selfish way to be in reality, but I was happy when I had my problem that it was me and not H or another family member because it would have been harder to watch someone I love be sick and scared than to be the one actually inside the situation. I hope all will be well for your husband and he needs your love and A LOT of time together right now -- I know for sure.

I can relate to distracting yourself with horses and shopping. I did that by picking up a new hobby when I was really scared if I was going to live or not. I got into keeping aquariums and fixated on that and reading books about the hobby, etc., but remember he really REALLY needs your love and attention right now. I could not have held it together without Harvey taking so much time off and basically doting on me 24/7 the past period of time.

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks Jill, he say's I dote on him to much but I don't think so. I try to make sure I fix his meals make sure he's comfortable and not bothered when he's sleeping. Trying to keep 3 dogs quiet is a challenge..... They think dad should play or OH BOY there's a horse I SHOULD BARK at it.....

I mostly stay home if I'm not out in the barn with the horses then I'm in here w/ him. Take care Jill, TJ

 

[Jill]

That is good. Not to come on too strong but now that show season is over until spring, I would do the horse chores as efficiently / quickly as possible to spend as much time inside with your husband as possible. I know how it feels to think I was in your husband's situation and what it meant to me to have my husband with me as much as he was. The horses will still be horses when things settle down and don't need much pampering and hot house flower treatment ever really and especially not in the off season -- but your husband really does right now. I'm hoping the best for him and you! This is coming from someone as passionate as anyone you could meet when it comes to horses, trust me.

 

[bfogg]

I am sorry to hear about your husband. Having lost mine to that darn disease,I agree with Jill no matter what he says just spend as much time with him as possible. It is precious.

Hugs

Bonnie

 

[bcody]

TJ, I am sorry. He may say you spend to much time, but I bet he is grateful you are there. Stay strong, take care of yourself and spend time with him. We are here if there is anything we can do for you.