PLEASE HELP...I need advice

[KanoasDestiny]

Ok, yesterday I had my cousin and her two girls at my house to see my horses for the first time. The girls are 8 and 9, and absolutely LOVED the minis. BUT these girls are extremely hyper, I asked that they don't run around the horses, as they are not used to children and spook easily (especially my gelding). Did they listen? NO. They yelled, made scratchy noises and everything else you can think of. Didn't listen to me nor their mom. I have heard other horror stories from family members about these girls behavior, and after experiencing it first hand, I don't wish any animal to go through belonging to them. I had to have my brother walk the horses back to their pen to get them away from the girls. Even with my house pets, I told them what they were and weren't allowed to do, and next thing I know, they were doing everything I said not to. They played with my VCR/TV, my cell phone, and snoped through my things on my table. I was very shocked at how they had no respect what so ever, for someone they hardly know.

Now, my cousin, aunt and uncle (they all live together) are asking me all sorts of questions about auctions, and how to get a cheap mini for the girls. I am trying to deter them any way possible. I know that she said money was a factor and that's why she is interested in the auctions. So I told her how much I have spent since I have had them (just under $4,500), that they have special eating needs, and that the auction is probably not the best way to go (since they don't have the financial needs to nurse a horse back to health, although I didn't say that).

I don't know what else to say to them. But now I feel responsible for them wanting a mini of their own. Everything I have told my cousin about a mini's care, seems to go in one ear and out the next. Please help!!!!

 

[~Karen~]

Oh my! They sound like a real handful! There is probably alot you could say to down play the breed by gathering up a bunch of negitive information, but that doesn't sound like what they want to hear. They will probably just see an up front price on it's head and go with it regardless of your choice of words. You gotta admit, they are cute and that seems all they are going to see. I am saying all of this with lack of knowing these people, but by the unruliness of the children, I'd lay odds that they get anything they throw a fit about. Too bad that they are allowed to behave like this, they need a full grown, large mean stallion to line them out, lol... just kidding, but seriously, I don't know that you are going to be able to convience them that they don't need a mini if that is truely what the kids think they must have. I feel for you {{{HUGS}}}

~Karen

 

[HGFarm]

Oh egads.... well, if they were at MY house and couldnt follow the rules, I think I would have grabbed them by the arm and tossed them into a 'time out' at LEAST! That is nothing but disrespect on purpose for others and obviously dont listen to their parents either.

Besides that- I would advise them perhaps and sum it up, regarding vet bills (expected or unexpected ones), regular trimming, annual teeth check up, feed, grooming and ANYthing else you can think of. I too would feel sorry for any animal that would end up at this place. Oh, you might mention too all the work that is involved- icy buckets in winter, daily grooming, cleaning up poo, safe fencing that would need to be installed (there, that is a pretty good expense alone)- a shade, stall, 3 sided pen or something so it can get out of the sun, rain, etc...... Write this all out on a list and sum it up, with an average per MONTH on what they might expect to spend. Perhaps that will discourage them.

Then you might purchase them (I know it's too late for Xmas) the Emily Post book of Etiquette!

:

 

[New2Minis]

I agree with Karen, all most people see is a cute lil horse......alot of people think of them as owning a dog. But they need to know how much work they are, just like a full size horse. They probably will end up at an auction and get a Mini that might "put them in their place" if they get ahold of one with more attitude than those kids! I have a lil stud colt who would set them straight, lol. Seriously though they could end up getting hurt or causing their new Mini to get hurt. All you can do is hope for the best...................

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[Steph_D]

I'd explain to them that the cheaper auction horses are generally untrained or extremely unhealthy (which is true). The untrained ones are liable to kick the snot out of the kids, or bite them, and the unhealthy ones would cost a fortune to get healthy again, if they didn't die first.

Aside from that, if they come over again, let those kids know that if they can't follow the rules, they aren't allowed to pet the horses. I used to babysit very unruly kids and I had to do the same thing. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt.

Good luck.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

I think everyone knows at least one family like this and, believe me, taking the "gently gently" approach won't work.

Just tell them ALL horse at auctions bite and kick- that is why they are there!!!

Telling them they will need Vet care will not work as the horse will not get Vet care- you know it won't, it will just stand there and if it is sick........

Telling them they are expensive to keep will not work as the horse will not get the food, so it will not be expensive to keep.

Telling them there is no money in them will not work as they only have to buy a colt and a filly and leave them together and they will have a foal- any fool knows that, and the foal will be worth LOTS of money (How often have we heard that- and from people who should know better.

So just tell them they are EVIL and will hurt their kids, that MIGHT sink in.

Good Luck!!!

 

[Marty]

My horses are raised around comotion of all sorts. They are used to 4 wheelers, lawn mowers, tractors, fireworks, gunshots, and my boys running around yelling and blasting music.....and me too! But there is a limit, even for my Prancers.

I had some prospective buyers just like that show up here over the holidays. I could have sold some horses and got my price but no way would I sell to them.

I told the parents that these horses are pretty gentle and friendly, but they would probably end up hurting their kids because they are not used to what their kids were doing climbing up on the stall walls and diving off of them and you name it..............

Then, the youngest kid about 4 years old, picked up a piece of gravel and through it right in Timmy's face!!!!!!!!!! And I hollered at him "what do you think you are doing to my horse?" And Oh I was MAD as a wet hen. And that is when I said to them, it's time for you to leave now; these horses are not for you.

And nothing more was said but they could tell I was pi**ed ! I opened up the barn doors and out they went. I felt like saying don't let the gate hit you in the arse on your way out.........

I would say to you that ok, you gave them their warning and hope that you were firm enough in conveying your beliefs to them that it got their attention. Kids like this will kill a pony, if the pony doesn't get them first. Its a NO win situation. Hopefully they will just forget about the whole thing.

 

[Gena]

Oh boy...I sure feel for you...we have been in the same situation with a neighbor, and even some folks (our hair dresser etc) who wanted to come over and let their kids "play with the little horses" Not only would the kids not follow the rules but the parents would want to let their little toddlers walk around the horses even though we told them not to, we would have to pick the kids up ourselves, it was very frusterating and we feel very dangerous, we had VERY well behaved horses and used to loud noises, kids etc BUT they are still an animal and accidents can happen. This is what we did - when folks came over with kids that would not follow rules we would not let them in with the herd, instead we would halter and bring out ONE horse for them to pet/groom and as long as they behaved the horse could be out other wise we cut the time short and put the horse back in with the herd...needless to say that became too "boring" and took care of the problem.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Thank you for the replys. I am just so bothered by this. I haven't seen those girls more than 4 times during their whole lives, and yet they acted that way at my house. The thing that really gets me is the neighbors across the street have between 6 and 8 kids (ages infant - 13 or so), and the day they all came over to take pictures, they started out running until I asked that they walk. And they respected what I asked! My colt has always been skittish, he came from an auction and I have no idea what his past was like. It took him two days to approach us, and since, he has been solely devoted to us. He very seldom wants anything to do with strangers, unless they have treats or there is something that draws him to them.

I feel guilty because I remember what it was like to really truly want a horse, and thankfully I had someone take a chance on me and has helped me with questions I have. But I can't in good faith point them any further to a horse. I feel like this is only a spur of the moment choice and not a thoroughly planned out decision. And that's no life for a horse. :no: I have an aunt that has a big habit of taking a decent horse and making it plain out mean. I feel that's what my cousins will do too.

I emailed the pictures that I took yesterday of the kids with the horses, to my cousin. Just a while ago, I received a text from her asking if I had a chip in my camera that the pictures were taken with. I assume that she wanted to borrow it? Thankfully, I erase them from the camera as soon as I download them onto the computer. But I have only seen/talked to her maybe 4 times in the last 10 years, and there's no way I'm gonna loan her an $80 camera card, with daughters who run all over her!!! I'd never see it again! Anyways, thanks for letting me vent and for the advice.

 

[HGFarm]

Oh, another detering thing I thought of to tell them.... what happens when they want to go on vacation, or even gone for the weekend?? Someone HAS to be there to feed at least twice a day and check on them and their well being- making sure that they are not hurt, ill, etc..... It really 'ties you down' to the house where they would not even be able to take off and go anywhere!!

 

[KanoasDestiny]

It really 'ties you down' to the house where they would not even be able to take off and go anywhere!!

Boy do I know that one! We feed three times a day and if we want to do anything (go shopping, out to eat, to the movies), I make sure that it fits inbetween those feedings.

: But I'm lucky because my husband knows and accepts that I'd rather be home with the horses than doing anything else. We have only spent the night away once since we've had the horses and I had my brother feed for us.

The bad thing with my cousin, is she lives out by family (other aunts/ uncles/ grandma) and one of them would feed for her.

I guess I'll just tell her all the bad things about having a horse, and play dumb as far as where to get one.

 

[HGFarm]

Well, you could emphasize all the things that can go wrong- colic, founder, worms, other diseases, etc....

 

[Suzie]

Well, you could emphasize all the things that can go wrong- colic, founder, worms, other diseases, etc....

You need my husband. When we have people like that come by to look and the kids are totally out of control and the parents start asking questions about "getting a mini", my husband launches into his "well, when I was a kid my friend had a pony and the pony bit his ear off....." It is a true story- and God only knows what the kid did to make the horse behave like that- but the parents immediately stop their inquiries. :bgrin

Don't let the door hit ya where God split ya is my attitude..... :aktion033:

 

[mad for mini's]

I don't know if this is good or bad but how about inviting just the girls over to be around the horses to see what it is like to care for them. Without parents around some kids are totally differently behaved. And you are the authorative figure! Then you can show them what fun it really is! You know! the brushing until your arms fall off and shoveling loads of poo ! Carrying hay to them, anything that a kid might find like work !! Then hopefully when you send them home they will be complaining about it so much that the parents will think twice about getting one! And I would let them know that auction houses are for the horses that are dangerous or are so sick they will probably die!

 

[HGFarm]

I dont know if that would work. My granddaughter complains about taking care of her TWO, but will happily go to the neighbors to help them with 50+ and thinks it's FUN!! (in addition to their cattle, goats, chickens, dogs, cats and big horses) That just might encourage them even more!

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Oh I woul dhave loved for my cousin to leave the girls in my care. I guareentee they would never act that way around my house again. It's just hard to tell kids no, when their parent is letting them get away with everything.

I have decided to get a list of EVERYTHING negative that can come with owning a miniature horse...diseases, birth problems, feeding requirements, etc. If anyone has anything else they can volunteer, please do so! Basically, everything you would warn a potential buyer of before hand, to make sure that they REALLY know what they are getting into.

 

[dangerranger]

My daughterinlaw always asks why her kids act so much better at our home! I remind her what happens to kids who dont. I dont think down playing minis is the answer, it keeps horses on there minds. if it were me Id stop making any mention of minis at all and see if the thought fades away. good luck DR.

 

[anita]

I hear you

We live in the middle of a bible belt and folks here think and pronounce loud " On Sunday, after church we go for lunch and after that we come with our children, grandchildren AND their friends to see your minis"

Ya know what I am thinking....................

This is what I say : Minis are not toys. Minis are not for every child. Why don't you buy your kid two or three minis it a herd animal for investment it might pay their college.

Do we need desperately educational seminars? Yes, yes

Anita

 

[bfogg]

This almost always works for me. Tell them that auction minis have diseases that their kids can catch and they have lice that can infest their kids hair.

Then say I am so sorry God but this is a GOOD lie!

Bonnie

 

[HGFarm]

Hahahahaa, good one Bonnie!! :bgrin