Non horsy husbands...

[Taylor Jo]

My husband and I got into a tiff today and I aked him why does he put up with me and my animals cause all I do is "cost" him. He said because I love you and your my life and everything I do, I do for you and those animals and I wouldn't want it any other way. I had drove off earlier and was ticked and came home to some purple Petunia's to hang out on my back porch. He knew how bad last year I wanted those and didn't get them. Then when we talked he said what he said it made up for his grumpy remark this morning. He's just a non horsey person, and sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with all the bills I get coming in and the dog vet bills too. BUT, he's so good about helping me, he feeds first in the a.m. so I can sleep in, he fixes and build things for me, and he goes to the barn with me every night to feed. Plus, if I ask for extra help he's ALWAYS more then willing to help. I just couldn't imagine life without him. I'm glad today ended on a good note. I hope it works out for you too. Communication is the key. TJ

 

[Magic]

When my hubby and I were first married, he was not a "horse person" at all. He knew how to ride, but only because his father was a hunting guide and that's how they went hunting, by horseback. All I ever asked of my husband was that he allow me to 'do my thing" and I let him do his. He was very supportive once he finally realized just how important horses were to me. Once we started showing (miniatures) and our oldest daughter began showing, it became a family affair and DH was very proud of what my daughter and I accomplished with our horses. Over the years he became more and more involved, and now he likes to do a little showing himself-- he does the Jumping classes for me because I can't run very fast due to foot injuries, and he's actually interested in doing some driving--- and he takes it upon himself to do all the heavy work, even volunteering to clean stalls, which was a bit of a shocker, lol! He still thinks that we have too many horses (30 something), but I've built it into a nice little business, and he knows that horses are just ME. Without horses, I would not be happy.

I suggest that you let your husband know, in no uncertain terms, how important that your horses are to you. Also let him know if you need help now and then with heavy work, or something that takes two people. Thank him profusely when he does help you. Oh, and ask him if you REALLY need to keep the donkey, lol! Good luck!

 

[Matt73]

My husband and I got into a tiff today and I aked him why does he put up with me and my animals cause all I do is "cost" him. He said because I love you and your my life and everything I do, I do for you and those animals and I wouldn't want it any other way. I had drove off earlier and was ticked and came home to some purple Petunia's to hang out on my back porch. He knew how bad last year I wanted those and didn't get them. Then when we talked he said what he said it made up for his grumpy remark this morning. He's just a non horsey person, and sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with all the bills I get coming in and the dog vet bills too. BUT, he's so good about helping me, he feeds first in the a.m. so I can sleep in, he fixes and build things for me, and he goes to the barn with me every night to feed. Plus, if I ask for extra help he's ALWAYS more then willing to help. I just couldn't imagine life without him. I'm glad today ended on a good note. I hope it works out for you too. Communication is the key. TJ

How sweet. Sounds like me and my man, too. I've got a great one

And I know all of the things he does for me he does out of love. And, yes, communication communication communication...

 

[krissy3]

Lorenz does bring me flowers from time to time ...but they are usually for the tables of our restaurant...

He would FREAK, if I were not here to run his hotel.....I hope one day he will stop and do some thinking about how important it is to support and love one another. Last night he did feed for me , but gave them so much hay that they still had a ton of it on the ground this morning

Maybe its better after all that he doesnt help out. I have had fun reading all of your posts , and I am a bit envious of some of you.... but I think I will keep what I have (lorenz), he could be a whole lot worse. My horses support me emotionally with my horse habbit, they are thankful , and so sweet. Especially my little Juniper Pearl, as soon as I see them all my worries vanish.

 

[ForMyACDs]

I have a non-horsey husband but that's okay. The ponies are MY hobby....not his. I don't EVER expect him to take care of them or do the heavy lifting chores.....why would I? After all this is MY hobby....so if I can't do the work to keep up on my hobby then maybe I need to find a different one.

I do all the building of stuff myself as well as the loading/unloading of hay and building or repairing of fences. He did cut down some trees for me for the back fenceline but it was because he wanted to use those trees for his woodworking & wanted them cut down a particular way. Otherwise, I would have cut them down myself.

Of course he likes the ponies & will bring them treats or take photos of them to share with people at work. He'll also offer to feed & water when I'm sick or if I need more sleep (I'm in school AND working right now so he tries to give me time to sleep in whenever possible) but I always have to make sure my feeding board (with feeding instructions for any caretakers we might have to hire) is up to date in order for him to be willing to do it. I think occasionally he just likes to hang out with the girls. Still, I never expect it and he knows that. Heck.....if I have to get help I'll usually hire some help for a project so that I'm not taking his time away from his own hobbies......after all.....he works long hours and he deserves to spend his free time doing things he likes to do!

I think the fact that I don't expect my husband to share in my hobby is one of the reasons that we get along so well. We're both comfortable enough that we don't expect to spend all our free time together and actually we both enjoy spending time alone doing our own thing. That space makes the rest of our relationship go so well. There's certainly no smothering in this relationship!!

 

[Genie]

My husband was non-horsey when we met. He was(and still is) a dairy farmer born and bred. Anyway as a wedding gift I gave him his own horse, a arabian filly. Sadly that filly did not grow tall enough for him so we had to sell her but I bought a taller arabian mare for him whom he loves to pieces. Her name is SPH Sameera Sunnphire. I bred her and sold her as a 2 year old and was able to buy her back as a 4 year old. She is registered in his name. I also gave him a mini mare(she is registered in my name but his horse). Her name is Cherokee Stables Ohso Dandy. He trained her to drive. Dandy's 2008 filly he also claimed as his.

I recently bought him another mini mare to match Dandy so he can have a team hitch. The new mare is named Lucky K Here For The Party, aka Lucky.
My husband is great. I am laid up and cannot do my chores as I had a c-section on March 19th and cannot do anything for 6 weeks(May 1st). My husband is doing all my chores. Since the weather has been warm lately I told him to put all the horses outside except Minni Spark Black Blinker No5 as she is due to foal anytime and she is hard to catch. So he only has one stall in the barn to muck out. He's great. I did reduce my horse numbers. I had 21 horses here in December and now am down to 15 here.

Hi Shana, I missed your birth. To save me some time, tell me how everything went? Hopefully well and you have a sweet baby.

 

[Littleum]

I have a non-horsey husband but that's okay. The ponies are MY hobby....not his. I don't EVER expect him to take care of them or do the heavy lifting chores.....why would I? After all this is MY hobby....so if I can't do the work to keep up on my hobby then maybe I need to find a different one.

Exactly.

David isn't horsey at all. If I really need him to help with something he will because he loves me and knows how much the horses mean to me

but he doesn't want to be involved in the day to day. That's okay. Sure, I'd love it if he wanted to get involved but it's fine if he doesn't. I don't push because there's no point to it. I don't take on more then I can handle by myself. He does like to pet the ponies and will pitch in at the barn/shows if he's there (although he's a tyro so you have to tell him exactly what to do, LOL)

I haven't given up hope yet. When we moved in together he was a die-hard dog person and didn't want me to bring my cat. At which point I informed him I had had the cat longer then him, and he didn't have to like her, he just had to put up with her. Fast forward eight years, we have the original cat plus one more, and David is a die-hard cat lover and has spoilt and pampered them rotten. How pampered? He lets Tally "pick out" her food by holding up two cans and whatever one she rubs her cheek aganist is the one she "wants" so she gets that one (I pointed out she's colorblind...)

 

[Amalthea]

Mine is fond of saying he'd come riding with me "if we had a horse for him to ride". But he's also one to say I ought to sell the horses to have more time for my other pursuits. Go figure.

Frankly, I don't have it in me to keep up two saddle horses for the ocassional friend or family riding companion. That's one of the reasons minis and ponies in general are looking pretty good to me. Still, he's been really good about learning the basics and seems to actually like my mini. I don't try to convert him, per se, but I am careful to be supportive of his hobbies too and I've found that he reciprocates. He has his gaming-- I have the horses. He says the little one isn't a "miniature horse", she's a "dwarven war pony".

 

[Charlene]

gary had never been around horses till we got together. when we moved out to the family farm, he dove right in. he and tuffy were such a pair! tuffy does tricks for marshmallows (bows, nods "yes", shakes his head "no")...gary used to LOVE showing off his tricks to people. i'd stand back and watch and just laugh my butt off. he never got into the grooming/riding stuff but every day i would come home from work and since he was home before i was, all of the chores would be done and a glass of wine would be waiting for me.

when i got my first mini, rebel, gary just rolled his eyes at me. but then when he got to know him, he was smitten. sadly, he never really got to know red, my second mini, before he passed away. often, when i am doing chores in the bitter cold or pouring down rain, i remember how sweet it was to come home to everything being done and that glass of wine waiting for me. it's just one of about a trillion things i miss about gary.

count your blessings, girls!!!