Hey,
I'm fairly new to the forum (sorry this is kind of long), but I have 20+ years of work experience....starting in the criminal justice system. If you handle criminal cases and store information about clients on your computer, no one other than your boss and approved co-workers should be on your computer. You should be able to say without hesitation...only these few individuals have access and be able to know when they have access. Otherwise, there could be serious repercussions. While it is often fun initially to work in a very casual business environment, what you are describing is the very big down-side. I would also guess that there are other boundary issues, but you may have tried to overlook them because you like the small, casual environment. While some people are very responsible, regardless of the boundaries, some will take advantage whenever given the opportunty, especially in a casual environment where there aren't as many boundaries. I have seen some of the "nicest" people do the dumbest things in these kind of environments, it is like they just can't help themselves. Having a group of 3 is also a tricky sometimes.
With that said, I would encourage you to shift viewing this as a "confrontation" to looking at this as setting a healthy boundary. I have found that people will grumble and be kind of passive-agressive when I set boundaries with them; but they get over it and seem to respect me more in the long run, if I stay calm. This sets a nice professional tone for the future too. Sure, things aren't as much "fun" for awhile, but I feel better about the job I'm doing and don't go home stressed out. I've been able to work with really difficullt people that drove others crazy, with this approach. Often worrying about setting the boundary is much worse than actually doing it. You will also be doing the poor kids a favor. Not your problem, but the kids should be out doing other activities that are age appropriate rather than hanging out in a law office all summer. Not sure about your area, but most communities have some kind of in-expensive summer camp type activities for at least a portion of the day. If that is not a possibility for your co-worker to "swing"
...there are many non-computer-related things they can do quietly in the office. If you allow them to use your computer, you are enabling her to continue provide poor limited care in the summer months. I would have never had my child at my office when I worked with clients going through the criminal justice system. Sorry, not appropriate for a variety of reasons! Like someone else said, if they don't have your computer, they might bother her enough that she finds something else for them outside the office...! I wouldn't get into the childcare piece with her though...
I'm a school teacher now and have found whenever there is a void (lack of boundary) children will inevitably find it and fill it. Playing on a computer sort of un-supervised...an opportunity for disaster! There are all kinds of things those kids could get into and have it traced back to your law office and your computer. People chuckle at unplugging your computer or taking the power strip home. While funny, seriously I would recommend this approach, if you address the issue and she ignores you. Make sure you password protect though, because they may not have a hard time finding another power strip!
If they are smart enough to work your computer and erase cookies, they are smart enough to plug it in. You may have to set a bigger physcial boundary, if she doesn't respect the verbal one. Laptop locked away?
When I used to struggle with this kind of stuff, I liked having people give me examples of what I might say to the person... you can say..."hey, I like the casual atmosphere here and the fun we have, but there is one thing that just doesn't work for me and I need you to understand that the kids need to stay off my computer. Call me uptight or quirky, but I really don't want to get into a big deal with you over this, so if you could respect my wishes and keep them off of it...I'd really appreciate it. If not, I'm afraid, I'll have to figure something else out." ... That is my softer teacher approach...if I were still working in the criminal justice system...it would be more along the lines of what another member said.... "keep your ___________ kids off my computer" ... Depends on the audience and the level of "assertiveness" the person takes. You have to really know your audience.
The most effective, looking at them very firmly, making good eye contact and saying... "Look, I'm not going to ask you again, keep the kids off my computer..." Firm, grounded body language will say it all more than any words you come up with...I'm guessing, you will be doing everyone a big favor in your office if you take a firm stand on this and stick to it.
To keep a small informal buisness fun and functional, you will need to have healthy boundaries and procedures for things, otherwise...it is just an illusion and mask for a mess... Sometimes, it takes a really long time for things to come to a head, but they usually do and then people are shocked when it does. You sound like a great lady and very responsible employee...don't be one of those, shocked by a mess down the road... take a stand now....just my thoughts after 4 different work environments and 12 + bosses.... with varying degrees of functionality... Best wishes! ~ Becky
Way to go talking to your boss!
Keep us posted next week! ~ Becky
) 'sigh' I guess I'll have to tune in again tomorrow to find out how it went.
