I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know first hand also what it's like. My son will be 21 this November. He's been a constant source of sleepless nights, dreaded phone calls in the middle of the night, etc, since he was 17. Before that he was a straight A's honor student. Athletic, and a member of champion ship baseball teams, on all-star baseball teams, state champion basketball teams, extremely involved in 4-H... everything that made me think things were on the right track. What made him derail? I have no idea, and may never know. At the age of 20 he manages to hold down a full-time job, he was living on his own with his fiancee until they split up and now he's back at home (ugh), but we still catch him... he was arrested at 17 for possession of pot, and paraphernalia (sp?), arrested at 19 for public drunkeness (although within 'legal' limits, not legal for a 19-year-old---thank God it wasn't driving), that last time we didn't bail him out. We left him in jail for the entire month that it took for his hearing to come up, and then his girlfriend paid his bond.) I had hoped that 'tough' love, and letting him in jail would show him the light. The very first time he was arrested at 17, and we bailed him out after spending the night in jail because we had to wait for the banks to open in the morning to get the ONE THOUSAND dollars it took to bail his butt out, he appeared so shaken and upset, and truly remorseful for what he did... yeah right. Well maybe he was, but it didn't last. So I hoped spending a month in jail would help... seemed to... for about a week.
During those years he totalled three cars. Somehow he managed to walk away with scratches, or minor injuries. I am really not sure how. I've seen the cars. Especially the last one. He rolled the car FOUR times and it apparently flew through the air and landed up against a tree on the fourth roll. The entire roof was smooshed in... he was a little banged up, but relatively fine.
Me however, I needed a sedative.
He may live to see a ripe old age, but he's killing me.
I truly have given up, except to have limits... he can NOT do drugs in our house (he's tried sneaking into the basement... but I can smell that stuff for a mile.) He has to keep a job, and pay his bills (car note, insurance). It's not enough, but I'm truly at a loss anymore of what to do with him.
So believe me, I understand. I know how very heartbreaking it is.
