I had this problem with a gelding I brought back from a far from ideal home. He had always been fairly treated from birth ( I bred him) and had always thrown himself heart and soul into everything that he did. The people that bought him from me were the very best. When he was outgrown they would not sell him but loaned him out to a family . Someone in the Pony Club alerted them to a problem- the horse was starting to stop at his fences and the Mother was talking of using spurs on him. Bear in mind that this is a 12.2hh pony and he was jumping a 2ft 9ins course clear, so they decided he could do 3ft!! My friend went to look at him and took me with her. She had not visited him much 'at home' because she saw him regularly at shows. One look at his eyes and she went and got the trailer and we took him straight back to my place. I left him out in the field where he was born until the day he approached me. I left him completely alone on five acres (he had horse friends) and I went out every day. Have you ever read 'Smokey'?? One day he called to me, and that was it (well, when I finally stopped crying it was ) He'd come home, Oliver never looked back. His heart opened and he trusted again as if it had never happened. Just give your little girl time, she has a bit further to go, but, with your love, she'll get there. Oliver was harness trained and is still living with my friend, he has never, ever been lent out again, and he will die with her. He is now 18 years old and teaching her 'surprise' to ride at five years old (she's been on him since before she could walk)