Mothers - Acceptable age difference

[Miniv]

I don't think three years is a big difference in age. You both sound very mature, and you know what you want in life. Nothing wrong in dating him, after all, you haven't, nor do you have to make it a life long committment. Just two people enjoying each other's company at this particular time in your life!

Very well said.........and I also agree with Jane.

I was 16 when I started dating a 21 year old college student. We got engaged when I was 17, but it was understood that I was going to college. I did a lot of maturing during the 4 years we were together and I will always appreciate the relationship, although we never did get married. Looking back, my parents were very wise not "forbid" our being together as I probably would have done something silly -- like married too early.

MA

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

I don't want to be the barrier of bad news but if she came back from Iraq...Don't do it.. Esp if you are 17 and he's 20....All the Army has to do is find out that he's seeing you and bam he goes to jail. Doesn't matter if you guys aren't doing it or not, they don't care. Be friends until you turn 18. I am not trying to be your parent either but my husband is a corrections specialist for the Army. And he looks after plenty of guys who have been put in jail for this exact reason for several years. Not only could he go to jail but he could loose rank and pay or even depending on the severity of the situation he could be dishonorably discharged, which hurts his job status afterwards. Big scar on his record. Wait til his time is up in the military even because it DOES NOT matter whether or not if he is Active Duty, Reserve, or Guard or what branch he is. All military guys go by the UCMJ.

Now as fas as what everyone else as said as far as sex...Only takes once to get pregnant. My mom lost her virginity at the age of 15 at a party on accident and WA-LA she got me at the very tender of age of 16. And from experience most older men only want one thing no matter what....Granted thats not all but most....Not too mention when you are young you have the tendency to fall in love alot earlier. I know it happened to me. I was engaged to a soldier when I was in HS he was 20 and I was 18...Sadly he never made it out of Iraq but things happen.

Just def. think about what you are getting yourself into. He is in the military and thats no joke about they do. We see it all the time happening!

 

[Jess P]

Thanks for all of your input and advice!

I know I must be careful. I am one of those girls who is waiting for someone they truly feel is right/or waiting until marriage (I can't promise marriage as sometimes situations change, as we all know). I need to talk to my mother about it, I am just a little scared about what she would think but I'm sure if she was to meet him she would like him. My brother knows him too.

He is taking me to dinner and a movie tonight =) I am pretty excited and I feel better now knowing that I am not being totally unacceptable because of the age difference.

I will be careful, I promise!

 

[Miniv]

How did your date go?

MA

 

[Chico]

Age doesn't bother me so much, but you two are in very different places in life right now. Your in high school and he just came back from a very serious life experience. You need time to mature as a person and he needs time to find himself again. I would suggest keeping things very simple, if he's the right person you will grow as people, and things will even be better. If you care about each other, you will appreciate this time. Saying that, I met and married my husband in college. He was older than me and much more mature. We're still together but we were lucky that this happened. Many of the folks we know, that followed our plan, fell apart due to being so young. You could be lucky, but it always doesn't work this way. Enjoy being a kid. You never know if you'll be one of the lucky ones, and you only get one chance to be a kid.

chico

 

[~Palomino~]

Nope I don't think so at ALL! My best friend (who is a girl) is 15 and her bf is 18 and those two have gone through the ups and the downs but they love each other and I don't think they will ever live without each other! That is NOT a bad age difference. I know I am not a mother and I am not one to judge but it isn't that bad and it does work out!

If you love him, Heck if he is 40 years older and you love him, then you should do what your heart tells you to do!

 

[angel_cowgirl]

I didn't read all the replies so sorry if the topic has changed some or if its already been said...

I don't think 3 yrs is that bad, but what I would be thinking about is where you two are in life. All I can say is in numbers you're not that far apart but your milestones in life and expectations in life may be lightyears away from each other right now. In general, those 2 ages are different points in a persons life and both are critical points of decision making as far as where your life is going to go. And those points have different goals...the older one has usually gone thru what the younger person is trying to figure out and is ready to move on.

*shrug* So, just something to think about. I'm only 24, so I'm just telling you this from my experience not so many years ago.

 

[Jess P]

How did your date go?

MA

It went very well

:

We went to dinner, then to dunkin donuts to get a coffee, which we both love, then the movies, and then we just drove around. He was a gentleman and sweet as usual =)

I do realize that we are at different points in life and we both understand that. He is supportive of me and my college choices and I am supportive of him and his career choices. We know that we will have to part (when I go to college) and I know I won't let a relationship hold me back.

I am just going to allow it to take its course =)

 

[HGFarm]

I dont think three years is a wide gap- my parents were four year apart, but were not involved at that age, they were a bit older - I think maturity is more important than age gap because I can tell you I know plenty of adults who may as well still be 12!!!

Being 'smart' doesn't mean you won't be blinded by what you think is 'love' at your age, or swept off your feet because someone told you what you wanted to hear, and you believed it. From the time I was a teenager to mid twenties, my thoughts on life in general changed- then again over the next few years. This seems to be a repeat process as we age...

Human nature is... well, just that. If you get involved more than 'friends' please make sure that something 'unexpected' in your life is not going to show up- and remember, in today's times of all the diseases out there- when you have sex with someone, you are also having sex with all the partners they have had the last few years as some of those things can lay dormant for a looooong time!!!

Ok, am done with the 'mother' spiel for now..

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

Just a reminder to all....He is in the military, they go by different rules of society. Age means nothing to them at all and he will go to jail if they get word he is seeing a minor. Regardless of the laws of the state. So be forwarned he could to prison.