Thanks everyone, I know you all know how I feel.
I sat and stroked her neck as she laid in the sun under a tamarack tree in the front yard and looked at me and told me it was time. Yes it is hard, yes it is hard to watch, yes it broke my heart. Being that it was a holiday, getting a vet out to do the deed was not going to happen, the two that would have come were out of town with family, my poor husband had to do it. I am so sorry he had to be the one. He has a very soft heart and said no at first but after trying for a couple hours to make her comfortable with every drug I had in the barn and IV fluids to no avail, we realized it was the kindest thing to do.
A dear friend just sent me this, I had never seen it before. It is aimed at dogs but it applies to all animals I think. I feel I did this.
The Ten Commandments For Pet Owners
1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any Separation from will be painful for me.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me...it's crucial to my well being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up for punishment. You have your work, your friends and your entertainment, I have only you!!
5. Be aware that However you treat me, I'll never forget it.
6. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me.
7. Remember before you hit me, that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand, but I choose Not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something may be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right foods, I've been out in the sun too long or my heart is getting old and weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old...you too will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or, "Let it happen in my absence" Everything is easier for me if You are there. Above all, remember that I Love you.