If you are under-appreciated

[yankee_minis]

My children are 19, 21, and 23. They all have full time jobs this summer. The youngest is going back to college in the fall. The oldest is staying at home his last semester and working full time. The middle one has a full time job.

After a summer of feeding them, providing laundry, chef, and dishwashing services, and of them complaining about my dogs, horses, and cats, about how I spend my money and about how clean the house is or isn't .. I got sick of it. They were complaining about the dumbest, littlest, most unimportant things! They don't know how lucky they are!!

My oldest told me that we only need 8 towels and that I should throw the rest away. I said, "have you MET your sister???" He has all kinds of 'helpful' suggestions for me. He doesn't like the dogs or the cats. (small dogs are useless)

Plus I was stretched financially. One lowly income doesn't provide for 4 people!

So I asked for monthly rent. $200 for the non-college student because I pay for her cell phone, board and feed for her 2 horses that she does nothing for anymore, feed her dog, and transport her everywhere because she doesn't have a driver's license.

And $100 from the oldest.

Youngest will be going back to school and won't be working any more.

This request did not go over well. But my middle one did come up with rent.

The oldest said life wasn't about giving me handouts.

So yesterday I printed the following on labels and stuck them up around the house--inside and out.

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Murderer

Thank God My Mother Is Not An Animal Abuser

Thank God My Mother Is Not Freaky

Thank God My Mother Is Alive

Thank God My Mother Is Not Scared of Ghosts

Thank God My Mother Loves Me

Thank God My Mother Is Not Bi-Polar

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Child Beater

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Whiner

Thank God My Mother Is Not All Scabby

Thank God My Mother Is Not Always Angry

Thank God My Mother Is Alive

Thank God My Mother Is Not Skanky

Thank God My Mother Is Not Dying of Cancer

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Slut

Thank God My Mother Feeds Me

Thank God My Mother Takes Care of Me

Thank God My Mother Is Not Morbidly Obese

Thank God My Mother Buys Me Sausage

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Crack Whore

Thank God My Mother Is Not An Alcoholic

Thank God My Mother Is Alive

Thank God My Mother Is Not In Jail

Thank God My Mother Is Not In the Hospital

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Drunk Magnet

Thank God My Mother Is Employed

Thank God My Mother Is Responsible

Thank God My Mother Is Not A Child Molester

Thank God My Mother Would Beat-Up Someone for Me

Thank God My Mother Gives Me Stuff

Thank God My Mother Is Alive

Thank God My Mother Buys Me Juice

The two youngest thought it was funny. (And responded well to it.) As did my co-workers, my sister, my daughter's friends, and my 9 year old nephew. (Probably the scabby one made him laugh the most!)

The oldest grumbled...

Try it on your children and maybe they'll appreciate you more.

 

[backwoodsnanny]

Tracy

You are just too funny. Maybe the oldest should be paying the same as the middle even if he is in school does he know what rents go for now? Never mind laundry and groceries and whatever else and what about them pitching in with some help? Do your own laundry / dishes etc and let them all do theirs. You need to take care of yourself you know.

 

[Bess Kelly]

Want to be appreciated? Try this...........

DO NOT........cook, clean, buy food, cleaning/toiletry products for them. Allow them to do their own cleaning, laundry and cooking by themselves (put a coin box on the washer/dryer to contribute to the electric/water -- $1.50 per load, per machine). Make them purchase their own laundry detergents, soaps, TP, food, drinks, etc.

Set a schedule for them to clean the common areas of the house & each does own room. Schedule the lawn mowing of the yard between them and any other such chores.

You can do your own "self" chores.....do not schedule yourself in the house cleaning, after all, you pay the mortgage

that's worth something! Then feed the dogs, cats, horses, etc. In other words, cut them off! Make them shop for an apartment, room, utilities, etc. and provide the facts and figures to you so that THEY have done it and can see the value of "home".

They will begin to grow up very quickly

And I love your list but, children do take parents for granted. I have two, I know! But we have an understanding (my dtr & gr dtr moved into upstairs of my house) that I do none of their "work" and I do as I please for self. My farm, my rules or you can leave. Hey, I'm STILL the adult here.

 

[TheCaseFamily00]

That was to funny

. I have a 3 yr. old son and a 14 yr.old daughter. My daughter doesn't have set chores but when i need help she does help.

 

[stormo41]

lol, I have to show that to my mom.

I'm 21 and my brother is 26, we both pay our partnets rent. I pay $150 and my brother pays $200. I pay less becaase A: I make less B: I help out more around the House C: I've been late on paying my rent ever, where as my brother has been 4 months behind at one point

 

[hobbyhorse23]

That's funny, but I agree with Bess! I think my oldest would have been getting a verbal smackdown about the time he mentioned the word "handouts."

Just WHO is getting the handouts here, sonny?! And once I'd finished heaping a well-earned lecture on him, I would have made it clear he would be getting no more assistance from me for awhile and see how well he deals with having to do his own laundry, cleaning, cooking, and everything else. If he doesn't like it, he's free to move out!

Hmph. *crosses arms and grumbles*

Leia

 

[Robin1]

Leia, said it nicer than I woud have.

He would find his stuff outside in garbage bags the next morning. Of course, I am a "little" stressed right now.

Robin

 

[yankee_minis]

Yes, the 'handout' comment hurt a lot. He's very very different than I am. I don't really understand how he makes decisions and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. I make decisions with my heart and he makes decisions with his head-- stated simply.

The animals I rescue are liabilties to him-- expensive and dirty. I told him how many puppies we were expecting and he immediately put a dollar value to it. There's nothing wrong with that-- it's just a different way of thinking about life.

So you can see why we clash.

Mostly there's peace.

I think he'll never understand until he's lived life more.

 

[backwoodsnanny]

And maybe not even then Tracy especially when he has you to USE. I agree with others who have said let him do at least his own laundry and cleaning and meals and wash the dishes and and and. Another thing I always found amazing when mine were younger when they were spending OUR money it had to be label clothes and what everyone else had but when we forced the issue and made them spend THEIR money and it was whatever bargain they found at Goodwill. Funny how tht worked.