I lost my heart this afternoon.

[circlesinthesand]

I know I'm new here but it's too fresh to post this at my regular haunts with the people who have known her, but I need to say it before I try to rest, I doubt I will sleep. I also can't speak about it aloud without a fresh round of tears crippling me. They're crippling me even now. My family has been wonderful but they're hurting too.

I lost my 25 year old mare this afternoon. We fought for over 30+ hours, she was just too weakened and gave up around 5:30 this afternoon. Sunday morning at her breakfast feeding, she turned her nose up. This mare has never refused to eat, ever. I knew immediately something was wrong. She died here on this same property, about 50 yards from where she was born. She never spent a night out of my or my family's care. If I took a rare vacation, they were there to care for her. She had the best we could give her and she was well loved and will be greatly missed. More than I can ever express in mere words. She was my life, she was my joy, she was my everything. I'm lost without her. My dad is heartbroken worse than I've ever seen him. He bred her for my brother and named her after us kids, she was the daughter of my childhood horse, but she ended up being my horse. I'm so blessed and honored that she chose me. She was extraordinary. She was at home on the ranch or in the show pen, She did it all. A true all around horse. She could show Western Pleasure, turn around do Reining, run barrels all at the same show, then work cattle the next morning all without flicking an eyelash. She was full of heart and endurance. A gentle loving soul with a surprisingly cranky little quirky attitude that gave her fire. She'd act like she was mean but she was all bluff. She was sweet enough to let kittens play with her tail. She never offered to kick or bite, but I won't say she never bucked, she did however save me from many a mistake on the trail and she taught many kids how to ride. Though she only had two foals, she was 'aunt' to many foals because she was safe but still taught the youngsters their manners. She had a heart as big as the sun, a shining light through many a dark tunnel in my teenage years. There will never be another like her. Her grandson is also lost without her. He's been hollering since we lead her out of their pasture and it's breaking my heart even more, if that is possible.

Jelinda Nuggetta, Feb 20, 1987- May 28, 2012 Godspeed sweet girl, I hope you're kicking butts and taking names til you find Bubba, Poco and Ruffian. I'll see you again one day.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

I am so so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter how wonderful their lives are, losing them from ours is never easy. Having been there before - and even now tearing up every time I think of it - my heart really goes out to you. I hope you can find some consolation in your many wonderful memories as well as in her grandson.

 

[Mona]

What a beautiful tribute. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

 

[Riverrose28]

So so sorry for your loss.

 

[Sue_C.]

You were both so lucky to of had each other...so sorry for your loss. :-(

 

[ozymandias]

So very, very sorry that you have lost such a large part of yourself. She sounded like an amazing horse

 

[Danielle_E.]

I know the heartache, A few years ago I lost my 34 year old rescue mare Shari and there isn't a week that goes by that I don't think of her. I miss her terribly.

 

[REO]

That was a beautiful tribute. I have tears running. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Those that are remembered, never die. She will live on in your heart forever.

 

[Taylor Richelle]

I am so sorry for your loss. May she R.I.P ((Hugs))

 

[anoki]

Sounds like she was a wonderful mare.....they are the toughest ones to lose. So very sorry to hear.... ((((hugs))))

~kathryn

 

[chandab]

So sorry for your loss. [i lost my boy two years ago. And what would have been his 29th birthday just passed a few days ago.]

 

[bluetaterbaby]

So...sorry about your loss. May God bring comfort to your heart and wonderful memories to mind.

God bless

 

[Jill]

I'm So very sorry for your loss.

 

[minie812]

So very sorry for your loss

 

[vickie gee]

Hugs to you. Your post was so touching. For sure she was beautiful inside and outside.

 

[Reignmaker Miniatures]

Ahh, I am so sorry. I understand the pain you feel now, my wish for you is that the pain pass quickly and you are left with only happy memories of you many years together. ((((hugs))))

 

[Marty]

I know how every inch of you is hurting and in so much pain. I"ve been through this too many times before and will again so I understand completely where you are and where your heart will always be.She was the one with a heart ten times bigger than all the rest. A mare like that comes once in a lifetime with such glorious memories to cherish. Thank you for sharing this wonderful tribute to such a beautiful horse. Sending huge hugs to you.

 

[Carolyn R]

I am so sorry, it is the hardest to say goodbye to those horses we have grown up and entered adulthood with. They are irreplaceable, and hold a very special place in our hearts, faults and all, we have loved them unconditionally.

 

[circlesinthesand]

thank you all for your kind words. It's still so very very hard to look in the pasture and not see her there. It's getting somewhat better, I'm no longer a constant stream of tears but but these are the ones that you're just never the same again...and it hits you hard at odd moments

 

[JennyB]

I am so so sorry that you lost your beloved mare. She was a true friend to you and you got to spend so many happy times with her. It's so hard to get through these things!

Animals give so much of themselves to us, they don't say no, don't argue with you, but love you unconditional and they are so wonderful. If animals lived into their 40's 50's or 60's, we wouldn't be able to live. It would be even more heart breaking than it is now.

I don't know if your pain for her will ever go away, but it will ease. Then you will start to think of the good days you had and smile

..sure there will always be those tearful days when some horse you look at, some little valley you road in will make you sad..we all have been there.

I lost my first horse and my best friend at 28-years-old. I had had him for 27-years and those were the best 27 years of my life. We did everything together and he taught me a lot. The man who sold him to my parents said, don't ever worry because this will be the best horse for her, he will always take care of her and never fail..How did he know?..I don't know. When he died which wasn't too many years after my mom passed,and I was so very close to her. It tore me to pieces when I lost her, then to loose my best friend, I thought I would die..and I almost did. Trying to take my life several times and going wayyy down into a deep depression and the abyss..UGH! BUT I am soo very happy that God gave me such a gift and God is good!

Rely on God to comfort you right now and know in your heart that your mare is happy, safe, new and running green pastures with others she has know, maybe even my gelding

..try to take comfort in that she LOVES you always, just as much as you do with all your hearts. You will be reunited with her again. In the meantime, keep busy, go out with friends, have fun, seek counseling if you need to, but please, please don't go down to that abyss. You will see her soon enough in time.

Again I am so sorry and you have my prayers that you can find peace with this great loss.

My Blessings,

Jenny