First of all, I am SO sorry you're going through all this! I will be sending prayers for your grandfather, having gone through something similar with my own 2,000 miles away last year.
Secondly, something occurred to me as I was reading all these replies. I seem to recall that Velvet is a very sensitive mare? Highly reactive and volatile? Have you ever read Linda Kohanov's book "The Tao of Equus?" Not so incidentally it is about her experiences with a highly sensitive, spiritually-awakening black Arab mare named Tabula Rasa. But what I'm remembering right now from that book is our horses incredible tendencies to take on our emotions and stress and mirror them for us. If we aren't getting what they're trying to tell us,
sometimes they even take it into the physical to make their point.
I think Velvet was telling you something. You said yourself you are about ready to crack under the stress and tension. She knows that. In fact, she's so in tune with the family that she did it herself FOR you! Scary and stressful as it is, this may be a blessing in disguise. She's giving you an opportunity to stop, breathe, and just be with a horse. Cold-hosing her, wrapping her, hand-walking her, these can all be times to stop and take a deep breath and just BE. A legitimate reason to stop and do nothing in particular without guilt for a few minutes. And from what you've said it sounds like she'll be alright eventually (thank God) so she really did choose the best possible way to get your attention.
: Sorta.
:
Anyway, just a theory but it feels like a possible match from over here. Many prayers coming your way.
Leia