HUSBANDS!

[tuffsmom]

Am I just completley awful for wanting my husband to stay out of my OB doctor's visits?? He's nearly 30 years old, and when we get into the doc's office, he turns into a 5 year old. This is our first child, and I want him to be a part of this, but I'm DONE.

Last visit (well, every visit)...he digs all through the cabinets & drawers in the room looking at all the "cool" probes and girly things (he even asked the doctor if he could take home one of the "ones" that lit up...and most of you ladies will know what one of the "ones" are)....

Well, yesterday at our ultrasound, he gets into an argument with the poor little tech (this girl wasn't more than 23 years old, she was new and scared to death). I know he was just trying to rattle her a little, but it's EMBARRASING. When she'd say "this is the head", he'd argue with her. Then he told her just to give him the wand and let him do it (thank the Lord she didn't), then asked if he could take the gel stuff home.

I SWEAR! He really is a responsible, decent human! He just turns into a child when we go to the doctor's. Any other time he's on his best behavior, but to him this is one big "funny". So I don't want him going anymore. He can sit in the waiting room or stay at home. I walk out of there fuming...every time. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, which makes me feel guilty. So am I awful for wanting him to stay away???

 

[nootka]

This reminds me of an episode of a tv show I used to love to watch, Northern Exposure, where the father could not stop cracking inappropriate jokes at the birth preparedness classes, and it was angering his wife so much. Turned out in his case, he was apprehensive about the birth and that was his way of dealing with it.

I would talk to him aside from the doctor's visits and explain to him that this is a monumental time, a time when you want to remember things being enjoyable and relaxing and special, and for him to focus on the little life you are working together to bring into the world would be very supportive to you.

Explain to him that his behavior is distressing and stressful to you (believe me if your blood pressure goes up in this pregnancy, the doctors will want to keep you very calm and if he's counteracting that, out he will go), and you need him to demonstrate his fatherly skills, NOW. You need him to be supportive and attentive rather than undermining the professionals that are doing their jobs and behaving immaturely.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this...these men in our lives, they do have their challenges (I am sure we are trying, as well!

: ), but they are very worth it, too. Try to remember the good times!

Best wishes,

Liz M.

 

[RJRMINIS]

Oh how I feel for you!!!

My husband is a prankster....he loves to give people a hard time....usually they laugh about...and I have gotten to where I do to.............but sometimes enough is enough...............!!

He has mellowed alot through the years.....I bet your hubby is just a little uncomfortable at teh doctor visits, and so he uses humor to try and break the ice so to speak....

I would say either leave him at home if he won't behave..........Or just laugh it off.........They say laughter is the best medicine..... :lol:

 

[wade3504]

Yours is only a child at doctor's visits? Wow, you're actually pretty lucky :bgrin . I thought the same thing that nootka thought. Not only does he have to be in an OB's office, but you are pregnant as well which I am sure he is very concerned about. Maybe it will get better as you go along. I hope things get better for you.

Amanda

 

[JO~*]

I think I would flat out tell him to leave the room, and maybe ask him to grab a box of rubber gloves on the way out so he can preform his own you know what tests. (since he likes to ask if he can have stuff) Maybe if you said that in front of the nurse or Dr. it would give your hubby an idea of how it make you feel when he

says things that he says.

That said --as long as hes good to you in all other ways I guess your lucky

:

 

[justaboutgeese]

I strongly believe there are times when a women needs privacy. in the doctors office is one of them. But if he insist on "sharing" these private moments with you I can offer a solution. I have an electronic dog training collar. You put it around his arm or ankle and you keep the remote in hand. First crack you zap him and he will quiet right down. Husband in the labor and delivery rooms is a different situation but you doctors visits just as a matter of privacy belong to you and the vet. He should be allowed for the discussion but not the exam.

PS if you want to borrow the collar just send me a pm, he will be shocked.

 

[MInx]

:aktion033: Right on Goose! I'm with you. I would tell him it's time to get over himself and grow up. Giveyou, himself and you baby on it's way some dignity and respect and either shut up, behave or stay out!

Hopefully you'll run into a doctor/tech that will let him have it for you if that would cause you a problem to do it yourself. As you said he's fine at home..but stress is not good for the baby or you.

Got an idea, let HIM read this post!!

Maxine :bgrin

 

[chandab]

I strongly believe there are times when a women needs privacy. in the doctors office is one of them. But if he insist on "sharing" these private moments with you I can offer a solution. I have an electronic dog training collar. You put it around his arm or ankle and you keep the remote in hand. First crack you zap him and he will quiet right down. Husband in the labor and delivery rooms is a different situation but you doctors visits just as a matter of privacy belong to you and the vet. He should be allowed for the discussion but not the exam.

PS if you want to borrow the collar just send me a pm, he will be shocked.

Geese,

I hope she's going to the OB and not the vet.

 

[REO]

I don't blame you a bit.

Make him an appointment to get his prostrate checked, then insist on going in with him. Ask the Dr. to let you use a probe and ask if you can have some lube and rubber gloves to take home.

Really, I would calmly tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Ask him why he's acting that way, making jokes and such. Like Liz said, maybe it's his way of dealing with it? But if you talk it out with him maybe he won't do it any more.

Is it kind of like the way men turn into idiots in a lingerie store? I think it might be nerves?

Communication is the key. And if that doesn't work, I like Vic's idea of the shock collar!

 

[capall beag]

Ha ha, that is kind of funny because a lot of that is exactly what my kids do at the dr's office!!

My husband on the other hand wants no part of anything like that and after 3 kids he has yet to be part of any of that, works for me!

:

However, at my 2 week check up after my son was born, I had to take my daughters with me, at the time they were 3 & 5.

In the middle of the rather embarassing check up with my male Dr, my 3 year old pulled out my underwear and said Mummy here you are!!

They were very curious about the WHOLE thing and proceeded to tell everyone they met about the experience That was a tad embarassing and now I get a sitter so I can go alone!!!

Hope your pregnancy is going well!

Kids, gotta love them, they always tell it like it is!!

:

 

[runamuk]

Borrow Vic's training collar

:

Sounds like your hubby is very uncomfortable in there with you during these visits......heck I was uncomfortable I would have rather not been there

: those doctors do some pretty invasive and not fun stuff to pregnant women....he is probably embarrassed and is acting out...so send him out....my hubby took it all in stride to him I apparently was no different than the vet dealing with any other pregnant animal

:

: :bgrin actually my hubby is just plain unflappable for the most part

: although my almost breaking his hand in delivery was kinda neat even the doc and delivery nurse were laughing at him told him not to put his hand there again as they were to busy to be fixing broken bones

: :bgrin :bgrin

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Om my! :lol: No wonder Vic and I are friends, I was going to say I have an extra shock collar also! :aktion033: Next time he acts up ask him to come really close "please honey?" then grab him by the Cohones and swear you'll squeeze if he doesn't shape up! Better yet, leave him home or in the waiting room. Another thought is mention this to your Dr and ask him/her to gently say, "oh Dad, not this time ok?"

 

[journey]

WOW! The only thing I could drag my hubby to was the Ultrasound on all of our kids..lol I am kinda glad he didn't now. You could talk to him and tell him how you feel about the way he acts at the appointments, because it makes you feel uncomfortable. My Hubby knows if he embarrasses me in public, I WILL embarass him, as he has only done it once at the hospital in labor with our first. (I am really cranky when I am in labor :bgrin )

I wish you luck Tuff!

:

 

[mrgizzmoe]

we are all kids

when i go into the ob i stand in the corner like a idiot. i dont want to go back there anymore unless i can see the baby .there is not a point unless my girl(gizzmoe) needs me. just wanted to add to this one

James

 

[Pepipony]

I dont have kids, well, they have 4 legs and one has a beard :lol: Sounds like yours is scared to death, this is making him wacky. When I get scared I get a little butty like that, not inappropriate, but giggly and bubbly.

Maybe you should find some type of therapist or maybe an birth coach that can help? Since I never had a baby, I dont know what options are there for you.

Otherwise, leave him home. Bet after a time or 2 of that he may get the message. You poor thing

: Having to deal with him on top of being preggers. GO MOMS!!! :aktion033: