Explanation

[Franklin]

Wow! It seems I have started quite a debate. I have been referred to as:

"a bit harsh", "not very nice", "very harsh", and "rude".

I started typing this reply on another topic and it was locked before I finished typing. I feel like I need to explain myself, but, Mary Lou, feel free to delete this if you feel it is stirring the pot.

I agree I was harsh, and I intended to be. It caught attention.

Arghhhhhh, Cant stand my Mum sometimes, !!!!!I have Secret in a small paddock becasue he has blownen up as a balloon lately and Mum keeps telling me to let him out for a munch but he seriously has enough in the smallish paddock and deffinately doesnt need the extra munch's on the rich grass. Oh and Mum is into horse and all like she rides and stuff but I dont know why she i like this about Secret. She doesnt understand Secret could founder and die. Any Advice??

Hey Guys, Its either stand up for for what I believe in and my horse or let him founder and die. Oh and he is obesely overweight but I have no recent photos to show. And Franklin that was very harsh!! I posted this topic to get some support not hear words like the ones you said! Secert gets let out for a couple of hours a day now and then put back in. Thanx to all those who supported me

The post did not ask for any advise regarding how to feed, only for validation that she knew more than her Mum.

I agree, ever time Franklin has posted not very nice, I can tell you that wont last long and people will start getting mad, honestly, Franklin has what 22 posts(??) and the ones that I have seen (probably 15) have been harsh!

I agree, most of my posts have been rather short and some (although I believe the minority) could be interpreted as harsh. (Sorry about the remarks about poor Pandora, it was a failed attempt at humor.) If you care to do the research, the ones which have been harsh are replies to posts where someone has had the attitude that they knew more than anyone else and felt it their responsibility to set someone straight when the other person has not had a voice in the matter. ( I did make a severe criticism of what one person posted on another thread, that person came back and clarified what they meant, and it was cleared up, which was what I had hoped.)

Some people are being mean and inconsiderate - you've all been teenagers before and felt the same with your parents! Think about my feelings!!

How about the feelings of your Mum?

Have we all made mistakes? Of course we have. Some of us have been slapped down for it (either literally or figuratively) and become better persons for it. Some choose to simply brush such mistakes aside as "everyone has done it" and never make any improvements.

This Forum has many knowledgable members who can share and help many. This Forum has some members who are not interested in learning anything, just getting validation that they are right, without the other side having been heard. Sometimes it needs to be pointed out that the other side has not been heard.

I am not looking for approval, support, or advice. Just said my peace and I'm done. Hopefully this thread will slide quickly to the back pages and not generate a lot of debate.

 

[Chamomile]

Thank you for the explanation! I am wondering, are you a youth member? Do you have minis yourself? Are you a man or a woman? Do you have a website? Can you share some information about yourself? Most of us have some information on our profile card. I understand about privacy, but a little information would be nice, so we know who we are talking with.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Thankyou!! For the record, I did not think you harsh, just a trifle blunt, perhaps- I have to be careful here as this is very much the pot calling the kettle black

I am very, very tired of kids coming on asking us to agree with them and then having a hissy fit when we do not. I am also very tired of people giving these kids "help" to do what they want to do, without finding out if it is necessary!!

I'm sorry the other thread was closed, presumably because the thread starter could not take the lack of submissive agreement, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with you!!

Gage's comments were quite unlike him, he is not ususally that intolerant, perhaps he was having a bad day!!

I agree that if we know a little about the poster it helps us to "gear" our replies suitably- it is also just nice to know who we are speaking to!!

I'm Jane and I'm a Talkaholic

 

[bevann]

I thought there was a post awhile back about restriciting kids on this Forum since they now have their own site.I ,Too, am one who comes for information and experiences others have had in dealing with a problem situation.As I get older I have less tolerance and patience with attitude from people who seem to know it all(or think they do)I will not validate attitude for teenagers who think parents know nothing.My mom used to always say"I wasn't born old" and my years of listening to others have got to be worth something.Try talking to your mother about the reasons for not wanting the horse to founder and your concerns.Most parents will listen if you approach them in a positive, proper manner.

 

[hhpminis]

I personally decided not to comment on the other thread anymore as it was a lose lose situation.

I do remember when I was a teen and adults in general with some exceptions, and yes they were usually the ones who were sympathetic to my own needs, knew nothing and I didn't want to listen. However I was raised to always show respect and did not back talk or there was trouble brewing, not in a nice way either.

I tried to be a bit more tolerant of my children and allow them to voice their opinion as long as it was respectful and not in a angry tone.

As I have grown older and wiser, I hope, I realize that the elderly are an invaluable wealth of wisdom from the experiences they have had.

Yes this is immature youth talking and I try to be tolerant but I did almost lose my cool with that post and am glad it got closed. It was heading in a not pretty and definitely non productive direction.

 

[minih]

I thought there was a post awhile back about restriciting kids on this Forum since they now have their own site.

There may have been a post suggesting it but thankfully this was not done. Yes, there are some younger posters that lack maturity in "some" posts but that can also be said for some of the adult posters. Some of these younger posters are very knowledgable, and they should be allowed to have their say. I have someone alot younger than I that I ask for advice from all the time, she is no longer a teen but has been while I asked for all this much needed help and advice. I do not have a problem with the younger ones having their say, I treat them just like the adult posters, if I don't like what they have said or what they are saying I don't read it. As simple as that.

I am going to leave off comments about Franklin and her posts, honestly have not read the whole thread.

Just wanted to add, it seems the bad gets way more attention than the good.

 

[Miniv]

Franklin,

I personally appreciate your posting to clarify things. Hate to admit it but there have been many many times when I've been SO tempted to reply to someone's thread headline question with just a one word response or a one-liner. But I restrained myself! Often times in those situations I pull back and do not respond at all.

I try to ask myself.....if I were standing right in front of that person, would I say the same thing? I know I wouldn't, so I don't say anything at all.

Just my take........

MA

 

[Dandy]

I did not respond to the original posting. I don't think you were harsh at all Franklin. In fact, I appreciated your response.

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

If you care to do the research, the ones which have been harsh are replies to posts where someone has had the attitude that they knew more than anyone else and felt it their responsibility to set someone straight when the other person has not had a voice in the matter.

Well you sure must be picky because you missed replies to a whole lot of us. Heck, Rabbit could keep you busy fulltime just on hers alone

 

[onlyminis]

I for one will say someone had to say it and I'm not about to get in the middle of it, I'm much harsher than would be tolerated

I personally have had to walk away from some of the comments by youth, if I were their parents I'd slap the words they'd typed right off their fingers (remember the phrase slap the words out of your mouth?). Then they'd lose all internet access for a LONG TIME. There were a few posts recently that I was VERY tempted to find a way to contact their parents and let them know what they were up to.

The internet has really taken away tact and respect to adults and I for one find this a VERY sad thing.

Now that said there are also a few kids on here that I'd adopt in a heartbeat! Kudos to their parents for raising good kids!

BTW, no I don't have children, I am one that knows I would not be a good parent.

KJ

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

well I want to say my comments were not strictly about those threads but the many times we hear that KIDS BETTER ACT MATURE if they want anyone to respond to them and they better do it the way a few people say or else...

Kids are kids and kids arent supposed to always be mature heck adults arent - I can go back to when I was a teen but things arent the same period. Most have 2 working parents and alot more alone time, the internet ect

Myabe it is cause i have a 16 yr old daughter and she has her blow outs big time- has told me she cant stand me on a few occasions.. I just let it blow over , let her blow of steam she as a teen is learning coping skills learning to deal with peer pressure on looks, sex, drugs alcohol... learning to deal with high school which in and of itself is this horrid little society i wouldnt go back to for all the money in the world

She can be angry and frustrated but does she mean she cant stand me.. of course not and truth be told there are times I tell my friends that I really dont like her at the moment doesnt mean I dont love her - it means I am a parent of a teen venting to other parents who understand.

Someone mentioned that some of us smoked pot or drank as youngsters and that doesnt make it ok for our kids(and used that as an example).. well I agree with that HOWEVER I PERSONALLY wont judge a kid for making the same mistakes I did- I do tell them why I opt not to do those things and what i learned doing them and hope they dont choose to make the same continious mistakes as I did but I am not going to condem them and shame them and think somehow they will learn from that... All i know is it sure didnt work when my mom tried that way.

I know it can be frustrating believe me I live with 2 girls

and they can drive me nuts but I also know there job right now is to be kids and to learn how to be an adult by making mistakes, saying silly things, not meaning what they say all the time and basically driving me nuts...

the way i see it and this is JUST ME.. is that if my kids are getting straight A's , involved in things like cheerleading and horses, and are all around good kids and respectful 90 percent of the time heck they are way ahead of the game

So I wasnt really talking to you franklin at all just at the attitude that comes so many times to these youth that if you ask a question listen to the answers of a select few for it is there way or you are a childish fool

just trying to put a reminder to be a bit patient and not expect adult behavior all the time from kids when we as adults cant even display it all the time

Ok and have to add here that .. kids arent getting straight A's oldest is getting a c in french and Raven got a S in PE the only thing she didnt get a E in.. but well o love her but she isnt the most coordinated kid

 

[~Palomino~]

Thankyou!!  For the record, I did not think you harsh, just a trifle blunt, perhaps- I have to be careful here as this is very much the pot calling the kettle black

I am very, very tired of kids coming on asking us to agree with them and then having a hissy fit when we do not.  I am also very tired of people giving these kids "help" to do what they want to do, without finding out if it is necessary!!I'm sorry the other thread was closed, presumably because the thread starter could not take the lack of submissive agreement, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with you!!

Gage's comments were quite unlike him, he is not ususally that intolerant, perhaps he was having a bad day!!

I agree that if we know a little about the poster it helps us to "gear" our replies suitably- it is also just nice to know who we are speaking to!!

I'm Jane and I'm a Talkaholic

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Hi Jane,

Somedays, I will speek my mind, and really dont care, most days I am in a nice mood, and just want everyone to be happy! Secrett22 is kinda a freind, I am the one that showed secrett about this web-site, so in a way I was just being defendint(is that even a word???) What freinds do for each other, Even if it may be wrong, ya know what I mean? I wouldnt have posted what I posted if Franklin would have been a little nicer and said it diferent, other that just BE MORE RESPECTFULL! I think there a plenty of ways to address that to someone (especially a youth) than just that!

I have no problem that Franklins post are a little harsh, if she wants to be this way, it is in no way doing anything to me, so I shouldnt have said anything at all!

Gage

 

[~Palomino~]

well I want to say my comments were not strictly about those threads but the many times we hear that KIDS BETTER ACT MATURE if they want anyone to respond to them and they better do it the way a few people say or else... Kids are kids and kids arent supposed to always be mature heck adults arent - I can go back to when I was a teen but things arent the same period. Most have 2 working parents and alot more alone time, the internet ect

Myabe it is cause i have a 16 yr old daughter and she has her blow outs big time- has told me she cant stand me on a few occasions..  I just let it blow over , let her blow of steam she as a teen is learning coping skills learning to deal with peer pressure on looks, sex, drugs alcohol... learning to deal with high school which in and of itself is this horrid little society i wouldnt go back to for all the money in the world

She can be angry and frustrated but does she mean she cant stand me.. of course not and truth be told there are times I tell my friends that I really dont like her at the moment doesnt mean I dont love her - it means I am a parent of a teen venting to other parents who understand.

Someone mentioned that some of us smoked pot or drank  as youngsters and that doesnt make it ok for our kids(and used that as an example).. well I agree with that HOWEVER I PERSONALLY wont judge a kid for making the same mistakes I did- I do tell them why I opt not to do those things and what i learned doing them and hope they dont choose to make the same continious mistakes as I did but I am not going to condem them and shame them and think somehow they will learn from that... All i know is it sure didnt work when my mom tried that way.

I know it can be frustrating believe me I live with 2 girls

  and they can drive me nuts but I also know there job right now is to be kids and to learn how to be an adult by making mistakes, saying silly things, not meaning what they say all the time and basically driving me nuts...

the way i see it and this is JUST ME.. is that if my kids are getting straight A's , involved in things like cheerleading and horses, and are all around good kids and respectful 90 percent of the time heck they are way ahead of the game

So I wasnt really talking to you franklin at all just at the attitude that comes so many times to these youth that if you ask a question listen to the answers of a select few for it is there way or you are a childish fool

just trying to put a reminder to be a bit patient and not expect adult behavior all the time from kids when we as adults cant even display it all the time

Ok and have to add here that .. kids arent getting straight A's oldest is getting a c in french and Raven got a S in PE the only thing she didnt get a E in.. but  well o love her but she isnt the most coordinated kid

 

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Lisa,

Once again, your as clear as water, and your thoughts are just so outstanding Nothing you have posted has been disagreeable by me

Good job!

Gage

 

[shane]

hi franklin, welcome to the forum

oh yes and no comment lol

 

[rabbitsfizz]

The internet has really taken away tact and respect to adults and I for one find this a VERY sad thing.

No, sorry KJ, that was happening LONG before the Internet.

Now that our Government has realised it has made a HUGE mistake not valuing Teachers, there is a really big campaign to get retired Teachers to come back to work. I sent them an e-mail telling them they would not get me back into the classroom with a block and tackle, an electric pig prodder and twice the money.

I still love Teaching, I just do not fancy being attacked by a kid with a knife and the (misguided in my case) knowledge that the Teacher willnot fight back!! (Ho, my little child, did YOU ever pick the wrong Hobbit to mess with

)

On the news today a woman is being sued by Social Services for "child abuse"

She owns a very good child care facility.

She parted a four year old from committing grievous bodily harm on another four year old with a wooden brick (as they do

)

The parents of the child who was parted from her brick made no complaint, in fact they have increased the child's hours at the facility.

The parents of the child who was being "bricked" made no complaint- kids get whacked, it happens, it was sorted, an accident form was filled out, they were satisfied.

The SOCIAL SERVICES decided to pursue action!!!!!

This is why I would NEVER Teach again.

No respect, no knowledge of respect, no reason to respect.

Unless the child is taught these values in the home (And I accept that many are) there is no hope for them.

Children are supposed to be our future.

God help us!!!!

 

[onlyminis]

The internet has really taken away tact and respect to adults and I for one find this a VERY sad thing.
No, sorry KJ, that was happening LONG before the Internet.

Now that our Government has realised it has made a HUGE mistake not valuing Teachers, there is a really big campaign to get retired Teachers to come back to work.  I sent them an e-mail telling them they would not get me back into the classroom with a block and tackle, an electric pig prodder and twice the money.

I still love Teaching, I just do not fancy being attacked by a kid with a knife and the (misguided in my case) knowledge that the Teacher willnot fight back!! (Ho, my little child, did YOU ever pick the wrong Hobbit to mess with

)

On the news today a woman is being sued by Social Services for "child abuse"

She owns a very good child care facility.

She parted a four year old from committing grievous bodily harm on another four year old with a wooden brick (as they do

)

The parents of the child who was parted from her brick made no complaint, in fact they have increased the child's hours at the facility.

The parents of the child who was being "bricked" made no complaint- kids get whacked, it happens, it was sorted, an accident form was filled out, they were satisfied.

The SOCIAL SERVICES decided to pursue action!!!!!

This is why I would NEVER Teach again.

No respect, no knowledge of respect, no reason to respect.

Unless the child is taught these values in the home (And I accept that many are) there is no hope for them.

Children are supposed to be our future.

God help us!!!!

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I do understand that it's a combination of many things, the worst to me is the families that both parents are working with no time for their kids, so they make it up to them by being "thier friends" rather than their parents, that's gonna backfire bigtime!

The total lack of respect that I see for adult and parents online is the saddest part for me these days.

You couldn't pay me enough to work with children in any way,shape or form in the world today.

KJ

 

[Marty]

Hello Franklin.

You just seemed to show up one day out of the blue and never had a proper introduction.

I for one would love to know more about you and if you are a youth, have minis, etc.

Inquiring minds want to know.