Do you ever get discouraged

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I am pretty discouraged right now with my training efforts. Seems like we are going backward instead of progressing. Had my first horse-in-harness mess last week. Luckily no one was hurt and only my new Ozark harness was torn. I am going back to nothing but ground work for a while. I don't know if it is me, or if it is my horses. It is affecting my confidence.

How do other people deal with the one step forward two steps back in training?
 
Yes, I have felt like you are now. I think if you do enough with enough different horses, you're bound to run into this kind of thing sometimes. When that happens with me, the biggest thing I need to try and do is go into the next session with the horse with a possitive frame of mind, vs. still being "ticked off" about the previous issue. I do think they pick up on your frame of mind very easily. Good luck. Maybe just a new day, a little bit of space, and things will go much better the next time.

Sorry about your harness
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PS... Another thought too, if this is a young horse, and especially a young BOY (stallion), that can account for a lot of the two steps forward, one step back in my experience and man is it coming up on the right time of year for there to be "issues" in the training of young "boys"
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All the time. But I have found that usually by the next session, we're improved again. It's what training is all about...switching the dance steps from 2 steps forward/1 step back to 1 step forward/2 steps back all the time.
 
oh boy, I can relate...with my big horse!!! I have 'discussions' with him when he decides he 'can't' do something. Lateral work seems to big the biggest one....but I push through what I can in a session without us both getting into a fight, the next session I may not even try that stuff and work on something completely different. Suddenly, I ask him to do it, and there is no more discussion, he just does it. I was almost beyond frustrated with him last year. Then for various reasons (weather being the biggest one) I hadn't ridden since before Christmas. Got on him about 2 weeks ago, and he was sooo good. I have been able to ride him fairly consistently over the past 2 weeks, and he is like a different horse. We still have the odd discussion about things, but something has finally clicked with myself AND him!

It does affect my confidence when he doesn't go well....but when I finally get through, THAT feeling is amazing!!!!! And to me, THAT is what training is about!

~kathryn
 
Hi Marsha!

Don't get too discouraged. It happens here too. One day everything will go perfectly and the next day nothing goes the way it is supposed to. But we can eventually get back on the same page another day.
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So happy you and the horse came out unhurt.

I think, in this age of "immediate gratification," many of us try too hard and try to rush things too much.

When that happens to me, I have to step back and go back to square one. I think we just want something so bad that we often want it NOW.

Going back to the beginning is okay - especially to increase confidence of the horse and the trainer.
 
It happens.
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Sometimes the horse simply isn't ready or needs more time to process what you're trying to teach him, in which case you should switch to something else for awhile and come back to it later. Sometimes it's us and the best thing you can do is get an unbiased observer to come help you for a session or two until you get some fresh perspective on what's going on. That can make the biggest difference in the world when you're too close to the problem!

I was at the point of tears a few years ago with my reinsmanship. I knew I was doing something wrong and causing my horse to counter-bend every time we went down the straight side but nothing I tried was fixing it and all the clinicians I asked said "It's fine, you're not doing anything wrong" when I KNEW I was. I was so frustrated I was ready to throw in the towel. Then we met the woman who is now my driving trainer and in ONE LESSON she set us straight. She saw what I was talking about immediately, knew what was causing it and explained both the cause and the solution to me in a way that was low-key and easy to understand. Then she ran me through the fix a few times until I could do it right. What a relief! It made all the difference for us.

And there's a lot of things that Kody is simply a late bloomer on. There's nothing for it but to be patient (we're talking five year's worth of patience
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) and wait for him to be ready and then one day he suddenly gets it. Go figure! So hang in there and maybe see about getting a fresh pair of eyes to watch you work.

Leia
 
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I don't know about the rest of you but I was having such a hard time, I decided to take my horses to a trainer. It was just getting horrible. It has made ALL the difference in the world. I thought gee, I've been struggling for a WHOLE YEAR at this!!!!!! So for me that was the answer and it's working. Maybe you just need some advice someone to bounce some ideas off of(I totally agree with what Hobbyhorse has to say) or a break then back at it. Bringing my horses home I'll be so much more prepared and my horses will be trained properly and I'm being trained as well and HOPEFULLY we'll have a much better show season. Good luck to you and I hope you get back on track. I'm glad you or your horse wasn't hurt. TJ
 
I don't know about the rest of you but I was having such a hard time, I decided to take my horses to a trainer. It was just getting horrible. It has made ALL the difference in the world. I thought gee, I've been struggling for a WHOLE YEAR at this!!!!!! So for me that was the answer and it's working. Maybe you just need some advice someone to bounce some ideas off of(I totally agree with what Hobbyhorse It happens.) or a break then back at it. Bringing my horses home I'll be so much more prepared and my horses will be trained properly and I'm being trained as well and HOPEFULLY we'll have a much better show season. Good luck to you and I hope you get back on track. I'm glad you or your horse wasn't hurt. TJ
 
Good timing!! I am so discouraged right now!! I have no access to trainers or the money for them so do all my own training. I feel like year after year we get no better and I'm tired of it!! I hate feeling like I am alone AND don't know what I'm doing!! My husband loves to drive but hates anything In Hand so will not help me with it. Amazingly without ever practicing a thing In Hand he always does quite well at it and I suck!! And I practice!! I am tired of working horses to get no where so totally understand how you are feeling!! I must get a better attitude before spring!!! LOL
 
My dil came over. She ground drove one horse and I took the other. We had a fairly successful workout today.

I feel better.

I'm so glad to know other people are having the same challenges I am.
 
I don't think one can honestly own horses without coming across training problems.
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They don't speak English. There's a language barrier. So of course anyone who works with horses is going to have some amount of conflict.

My two largest project horses right now are my stallion and an off the track thoroughbred mare that I'm working with.

In working with the mare I have had so many days where she won't do a single thing I want her to, she seems like she forgets everything, and I get so frustrated with her and almost dissapointed with myself about not being able to fix it. Best thing you can do is just take a step back. Breathe. Then focus on something you're both good at until you feel ready enough to try moving forward again.

I know I've been in that place where you think you can't handle what you're trying to do. Just keep making progress, no matter how little. Best of luck to you!
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This goes back to my old "bag of tricks" theory on horse training. The difference between a trainer and us is that through the years trainers have developed a "bags of tricks" and reaches into the bag for something different if what they are trying with a horse doesn't work. We are limited by what we DON'T know which leads to frustration on our and the horses part.

Whatever you do, don't get into a fight. STOP! Just standing there, taking deep breaths and collecting your thoughts is a positive action. In my arena is several things setup and I will go onto something else for awhile that we both have confidence in and when we are focused on other things besides fighting, then we may try it again. Or maybe not. Always end the lesson on a high note even if it going back to very basic things. Until your next session, think about what you were trying to accomplish, where it went wrong, but most importantly, what can YOU change that will give you a good outcome. This is where you start developing your own bag of tricks by coming up with a different approach that produces the same end result. What works for one horse doesn't necessarily work for all horses and you need to find the key that will communicate to your horse what it is you want.
 
Well - there are walls for every horse. But sounds like you need a break from whatever you are doing. Some horses process things at different rates. As many posts above mine state.

I used to have an Egyptian Arab, smart as a whip. But he would have his days, or maybe they were my overeager days. But anyways, we seemed to have a disconnect with learning half passes and lateral moves. At that time I was not super smart about stopping before an argument ensued. But I did have enough sense to realize we weren't being productive.

The hardest part was learning to let it go, take a break and give my head and bruised heart a chance to move into a better mood.

I often found though, that after leaving a session and giving him a day, the next time we worked, he would give me what I was so desperately trying to get him to do the session before, without much prompting.

What this comes down to - take a break, maybe you are trying to hard, you want it so bad to work. Just do something fun for a few days, maybe take him for a walk down the road, without reins and a bit. Get some confidence back into yourself and him.

When you start up - hopefully you will have a better frame of mind and heart. And so will he.
 
I think something important is to have a mentor who you can go to for asking questions and getting fresh ideas. Very few "great" horsepeople" lack friends and mentors who they can get help from.

Horses are not machines, every one is different and horses do change over time. They are unpredictable and what works for one, does not work for another.

I suggest you find a trainer in your area to build a relationship and mentor from. It's great to be a mentee!

Andrea
 
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