Curious what this group thinks about sexual orientation

[nootka]

Hi,

I know we've talked a lot about this at other times, but there are new people here, and I know we are all changing and learning and growing. Thought I would bring it up again...I don't want anyone to be upset or fight or get their feelings hurt, but would love to have a nice discussion something along the lines of the "faith" discussion recently as in we can all get along/disagree anyway.

Much of my life I have known and loved people who are gay, though at times within those relationships I did not know they were, nor would it have mattered to me (for example, I had an uncle who was, but it didn't matter to me, who was small and had little concept though I heard the talk behind his back by family members and the like). I have had friends who were, and they either were open about it or I guessed about it and often I was right as in we had "the talk" later. I would not say it is particularly common within my experience or life, though it might seem so as I'm focusing on it right now.

My point is that it does not matter to me what gender a person likes to sleep with. UNLESS I were to be interested in that person, why would it? Why could I not work for a man who liked other men opposed to women, for example? The thing is, I could, because it's merely a working relationship and sexual orientation has NOTHING to do with it.

And why does it matter about marriage? If a couple wants to commit to each other and be married, then why can't we let them? It isn't like they're suddenly going to be able to make babies together, but if they want to adopt, again, why stop them if they are loving and stable and approved as any other couple would be? What threat is this to those with more traditional or "accepted" lifestyles? I feel no threat from it and wish our governments would STOP wasting their time, our money and their attention on this issue.

I have to feel that if the general perception of same sex relationships were changed, that some of the pain and emotional stress that comes with the territory would be lessened, or maybe even a lot. I can't say I've walked in thier shoes, but I've tried to understand, and I feel badly that someone would be made to feel the way some have been, even killed or injured for this "choice" which is not necessarily a choice at all.

With as little as we know and understand about the human brain, is it not possible that there is some connection or undetected hormone that could cause this? Not that it's an illness but rather just a difference such as brown eyes or blue, white skin or black, tall or short? Why can't it be that harmless?

Curious because there is a wide range of people and lifestyles here, and as well there are some well-informed also loving and persuasive people here.

Thanks for joining in...looking forward to the discussion.

Liz

 

[Roxy's Run]

Interesting topic.

: I really couldn't care less about one's "sexual preference." As long as the person or persons are nice, honest, and friendly, and don't cause harm to anyone or anything, I don't care what goes on "behind closed doors." As an example, when the woman I work with told me that her now ex-husband was taking steps for a full fledged sex change, I had no reaction. I just said ok. She was shocked at my non-chalant response. I absolutely adore her ex-husband. He did go through the surgery and is now legally a woman and re-married to a full fledged man. She(he) is such a fun, nice, honest person that I don't care that he changed his sex. She (he) moved out to Missouri and tell you the truth, I miss her and her new husband. Both are just great people. The woman who I work with has accepted her ex-husband's change and they are the best of friends. Something that a lot of people cannot get a grip on. But I, like my co-worker, don't have a problem with it. After all, there is so much more to a person than just their "preference" or genitalia.

Linda

Roxy's Run Miniatures/Renditions

 

[Crabby-Chicken]

[SIZE=14pt] I feel that sexual preference is personal and as long as no one gets hurt, it is none of my business. AND everyone has the same and equal chance at being happy with who they please. I think that people that catergorize homosexuals as different or not worthy of equal rights, or common courtesy, are not fair in any way. And some day down the line, saying people are different in anyway will again be classified as discrimination.[/SIZE]

Sorry to go on about it. I have lots of good friends that are gay and it is hurtful to see what they have to go through just to try and live their lives. Everyone is the same.

 

[Marty]

I figure that I'm not the judge of anyone on this earth.

Live and let live because life is way too short to be sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong and that goes for gay or straight.

I could care less who is bedding down who unless it affects me, my family, and my year end taxes.

 

[Shari]

Also long as no one forces their views on me, I do not care, as it is none of my business.

Was watching a Discovery or was it Natonal geo on this subject?? think it was last month? Anyway...... they are finding that in the area if the human brain that makes us male or female...has not developed correctly in many gay people....or should say the ones they did research on.

Have know a few gay people...so I do not care what color, religion or what ever a person is....as long as they are kind and have a good heart.

 

[Miniv]

The previous posts from Crabby Chicken, Linda, and Marty pretty much sum it up for me as well.......

Larry and I have a number of homosexual friends (and relatives for that matter) who we care about. None of them push their life-style or views on us, nor do we push our's on them. We just care about eachother......and that's all that matters to us.

MA

 

[REO]

People are people.

Happiness is happiness.

Love is love.

:

 

[nootka]

:aktion033:

Glad to see so many like-minded people. I also feel there is so much more to a person than their sexual preferences, and to close the door because you "think something" about someone or know something that you don't find you agree with is missing out.

Not saying we need to seek out a particular type of person, etc., just saying take them at face value and the ONLY time orientation matters is if you are planning a romantic involvement. Beyond that, it's really noone's business.

Like Kim mentioned, it's heartbreaking to see some of the unnecessary difficulty and discrimination that happens for this and other reasons, when there is so much in life we need to focus on that really matters.

Liz

 

[bobby dazzler]

Hi. Was watching 60 minutes last night and they wasted 10 minutes talking about studies that they - in the US, SOrry guys - had conducted about homosexuals and what made them this way etc etc. It doesnt matter why it happens. Nobody chooses at birth to be homosexual - as it is obviously a harder road to follow, from where I see it - i.e, the constant prejudice, snide comments, having to justify what is basically nobody's business etc etc. The people doing this study should have spend the money on trying to cure cancer - now that would have been money well spent. By the way, from the research conducted, my 1st born son had a 2 per cent chance being gay, my younger sons have an increased chance of being gay because they have older brothers (older sisters apparently make no difference) and if they are right handed it increases the risk - jeepers, my fourth born son may end up being homosexual - WHO CARES - I would still love him to death. he would still be my baby and I wouldnt give a rat's bum about anybody else. Sorry for ranting, oh and if you didint guess it, I am entirely straight, have no real close friends who are gay but just feel strongly that somebody could be persecuted because of their sexual orientation. Now, start a thread on what I think about pedophiles or rapists, murderers etc and that would be a different story. Cheers, Kerrie

 

[rabbitsfizz]

"an it do no harm......."

beyond that it is none of yours, mine, the governments, anybodies business whatsoever.

For goodness sakes do they have nothing better to worry about??

They would be far better to be trying to work out what makes a paedophile a paedophile, wouldn't they??

This is yours and my money they are spending on this nonsense, by the way!!

 

[Jill]

I think in this world, people are lucky to find true love regardless. I do not understand those who want to keep people from same sex unions. It might not be right for ME, but it is what's right for some other people. I think people should have the right to do what makes them happy and that includes being able to marry who ever they want. I can't stand when people bring religion into the equation to basically try and validate their own predjudice against gays. Seeing the hardships gay people endure because of how some other people treat them, I will not ever believe they choose to be gay anymore than I choose to be straight.

 

[Fullmoon]

I'ts their life. They don't try to tell me how to live mine, I'll not try to tell them how to live theirs.

My husband is a truck driver and some men were grumbling in the break room about a driver that had a sex change and was now allowed to take a shower in the women's rest room. They work for a big company and their wives are allowed to go with them if they want so they take showers at the terminals. Anyway the drivers didn't want "her" in there with their wives. I'm so proud of my husband, he said "I really doubt if it was this persons goal in life to go all through school being made fun of, going through the physical and emotional pain of getting a sex change just to be able to look at fat women in a locker room"! :aktion033:

 

[Feather1414]

Personally I don't mind either way.

One of my best friends has announced herself as a lesbian. Could I care any less? Probably not. She is my friend. End of story.

I think it's beyond ridiculous for anyone to tell anyone who they can and cannot like.

I say it's not hurting me, so who cares. If it's hurting the homophobes out there, well then there are therapists for that :lol:

 

[Pandora]

I don't get what the bid deal is about letting gays marry. Marriage is nothing more than a contract between 2 people. I say the homophobes should get over it. They preach the bible but yet treat others horrible..what hypocrites :no:

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I was just having this conversation with some friends a couple of weeks ago. I find it amusing and sad at the same time that people say as long as they arent looking at me or hitting on me.. well come on now first off a gay or lesbian does have some self control and really lets be honest. Not every heterosexual man walks by me and feels the need to be with me.. why on earth would every lesbian want me LOL

Personally I could care less what is done behind closed doors. Some like fat people, some like skinny some like different races, some are into fetishes, some are swingers and yes.. these are our teachers, neighbors, girl scout leaders boy scout leaders... whatever.. it isnt any of my business. There is no "normal" when it comes to sex there are so many different things.

Sexuality is such a small part of who we are as human beings and really my children and myself dont care. We have friends who are gay and lesbian they have friends with 2 moms or 2 dads and perfectly well adjusted kids. They have no issue seeing these friends hug and kiss or show affection.

Seems to me there are much bigger issues in our world today that we could and should be focusing on.

 

[Matt73]

:aktion033: Very cool to see so many people on here that are so open, intelligent, and respectful. I am gay have been "out" for over ten years (I'm 32 now). I have had a very positive experience with family and friends; I've been so fortunate to have wonderful people in my life. Also, I grew up in Toronto which is very gay friendly and one of the first places to legalize gay marriage. I don't have any time for ignorant people that "don't understand homosexuality"...what's to understand? It just is, move on! I'm now living in a small town and there was someone that wrote in to the local paper about gay marriage. She said that she doesn't necessarily agree with homosexuality or gay marriage but that who is she to give a #$%^? It doesn't affect her in any way. I really respected that. Why do some people get so fired up about stuff that doesn't affect them? Hmmmm. I say it's fear. Fear of what, I'm not sure.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I've always told everyone that if my husband ever leaves me for someone else, I'd rather have it a man than another woman.

: I have had friends that were gay or lesbian and it makes absolutely no difference to me. It's their life, their choice, their relationship...who am I to tell them it's wrong or right? I love them as the human being that they are, not the people they date. (Some of my firends would have been better off with other women rather than some of their boyfriends.) We're only on earth for a short time, I fully believe that we should spend that time, living to the fullest and being who we are regardless of what others think.

I've had several women hit on me, and I never feel offended by it. If anything, I take it as a compliment because someone was interested in me. What an ego booster!!! :bgrin

Edited to add...I think that to a certain degree (and I know that the people who are strictly against homosexuality will disagree with this) that EVERYONE has some sort of attraction to the same sex. That's why we as women can look at another woman and say "Wow, she's so pretty". There is "something" we find appealing about her, in order to say that. Same thing can be said for not thinking someone is attractive...there's nothing to attract us to that person. It may not be sexual, but it is attraction. Does that make sense?

 

[Hosscrazy]

I absolutely agree that we do not choose our sexual orientation.

The closest person in my life is my brother, who is 14 months older than me, and he is gay. Growing up, we both knew he was "different", though we did not know the term "homosexual" as kids. We just knew he wasn't the same as the other kids. He fought so hard to be straight - in high school he even had a girlfriend. But he could not keep the fight going - inside, he realized he was gay. I cannot say that at any point in my life did I "choose" to be straight. Likewise, I do not believe my brother "chose" to be gay. It took a while, but he finally came to terms with it and he learned to accept himself for who he is.

I can also say that my brother not only is very successful in his career, but tomorrow is his anniversary of having been with his life partner for 14 years. And I am very, very proud of him and the life he has built with his partner.

:

Liz R.

 

[Feather1414]

Edited to add...I think that to a certain degree (and I know that the people who are strictly against homosexuality will disagree with this) that EVERYONE has some sort of attraction to the same sex. That's why we as women can look at another woman and say "Wow, she's so pretty". There is "something" we find appealing about her, in order to say that. Same thing can be said for not thinking someone is attractive...there's nothing to attract us to that person. It may not be sexual, but it is attraction. Does that make sense?

I agree with that statement completly.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I've had several women hit on me, and I never feel offended by it. If anything, I take it as a compliment because someone was interested in me. What an ego booster!!! :bgrin

LOL I agree with this as well these days anyone finding me attractive is a rareity so yes I surely would take it as a compliment