Am I the only one who has lost my nerve?

[CharlesFamily]

I rode this morning for the first time in over a year. Today is one of those absolutely beautiful days that you wait for after a long hot summer - sunny, cool and no humidity. When I was younger, I would've been out on the trails all day on a day like today. I guess that's why I felt the need to get in the saddle.

I still love riding, but I have to truly work myself up to do it. There was a time I was more comfortable in a saddle than on my own two feet. I have been riding since the time I was two and I used to be the person people brought their "trouble" horses to for me to ride. Now I get a case of the nerves getting up on my old gelding who I have owned for 9 years. And he is truly one of those horses that you can not ride for a year, saddle him up and jump on and he's still the same as if you'd ridden him continuously.

When I first bought him, I was still riding whenever I got the chance. Since then, life mostly has gotten in the way, working full time and raising kids. But my fears have even intruded on me pushing my girls to enjoy the horses the way I did when I was young. That's one of the reasons I bought the minis. I love them, but I also am a lot less fearful of my girls working with and showing them than a full-sized horse.

So, I guess my question is - am I the only one?

Barbara

 

[jacks'thunder]

Your second paragraph hits home! I feel the exact same way! I have a (I think17yr) gelding thats jump on and go. But sometimes my nerves get the best of me. He's a sweet heart and loves to be all brushed up for riding. But.....

No your not the only one! Maybe you and I are but at least your not alone!! LOL!!!

 

[MountainWoman]

Count me in too. I'm so much more comfortable around my minis. I still ride though but I have to push through my fear. Not easy to do but I can't imagine giving up riding.

 

[barnbum]

Me too. I didn't ride from 1978 to 2001, but kept all my tack so I'd be ready when we could get a horse. Once we did, I found I was a different person. In high school I rode with no helmet, barefoot, galloped thorugh fields.... but now I'm worried about getting hurt. There was more at stake: being a mom, teaching. The first "big" gelding I got after not having a horse for so long, was great for 6-7 months, then he turned. He tested. He won. He charged me in the round pen. He was sold. The second gelding was the same story--great for 6-7 months, then he tested. I was riding him in a riound pen one spring and he took off bucking and off I went. Mother's Day in the ER.

I refused to live without horses once we were finally in a financial postion to be able to have them. My daughter was searching on the internet and found an ad for a mini. We hadn't known such an equine existed. I searched more and found a wonderful person nearby who had many. The family visited--and I bought my first one. Gypsy. She cost more than the two big ones added together, but my husband didn't bat an eye because he figured it'd keep me out of the hospital. ;-)

I'm so grateful for discovereing them for I've done way more with horses with minis than I ever would have with big horses.

My daughter didn't get the love of horses blood, and I am grateful because I'd be a wreck watching her ride.

So, nope, you are most definitely not alone.

 

[CKC]

Nope- You are not alone! I rode for so many years. I rode all the horses that were put in front of me. No fear. Jumped 5 ft. fences. No helmet.. not a care in the world. I turned 18 and had a bad accident. Horse fell and I went down with her and lost my memory. Was fortunate not to break any bones, but I still have memory issues... didn't really lose my nerve after that one because it really wasn't the horses fault. She slipped in a round pen and fell. However, a few years later I had a horse rear up and flip over on top of me. Broke quite a few bones. At this point I'm an adult and paying my own insurance. A month after my accident I got back on the same horse. He popped up enough to freak me out and never wanted to get back on him again. That started my fear of riding. I have ridden a few horses since then even went on a ride on a beach(that was a dream of mine). I have ridden a couple of times since 1998, but it's not the same. I have an amazing QH gelding that I bought as a yearling. He's 7 now and not trained.

I also, have a QH mare that is now 23 that was last ridden in 1998. She is retired and living the good life. We have miniatures and my young sons have expressed interest in working with them.

Secretly, I pray that they will only want to work with the minis. I now understand how my Mom felt when she would go to shows and cover her eyes when I was in jumping classes.

 

[JAX]

You are not alone at all. I grew up completely horse crazy. I went to summer camps picked just for the riding program. Then started going to the ones where the german trainers (mostly military if I remember correctly) came in for the more advanced riders. Also went to boarding school just for the riding. Mostly I remember we would take horses off the track and turn them into jumpers. Loved it had no fear and had balance that was amazing. Must have been all those german trainers making us control the horse and do the jumping courses with no saddle or reins. Staying in correct position with our hands on top of our helmets and having to use our legs with no stirrups to "cheat" with. LOL those were the days. I have had 5 concussions always while wearing helmets but it never kept me from wanting to get right back on. Then I got married had a child and did not ride again. That was 24 years ago.

Have tried a couple times to get back into it but all of the sudden I feel like I have lost my balance and it has been replaced with fear. I have a perfectly great riding horse here but somehow never find the time to get back into it and so she goes to waste here.

 

[Hosscrazy]

I had been riding since I was a kid, but a bad accident left me terrified of riding for years...that's how I got into minis. My love of riding never left, and I started riding again 8 years ago and I even though I still get some jitters, I just work past it to keep riding. I'm blessed to be riding a "Steady Eddie" (avatar) who will take care of me no matter what; I also listen to and read Jane Savoie articles which has helped me tremendously.

Liz N.

 

[CharlesFamily]

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories with me! It helps so much that I am not the only one! We all share such similar stories. I keep wondering if my daughters would have had "the horse bug" if I had pushed it more. But I was always afraid to let them ride outside the arena or do anything more daring. Of course, if I had had to stay in an arena and just ride in circles as a child, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much either. We were always on the trails or riding around our rural neighborhood. Maybe that's it, too. Thinking back to some of the things I did growing up and the many "close calls" I had scares me now.

I have decided to sign my youngest daughter up for riding lessons. I think if I am not the person telling her to work her horse through a rough spot, I won't feel so nervous. My husband doesn't understand why we're paying for lessons when I have the experience and a horse she can ride. But that's okay - I understand why.

Thanks again for sharing!

Barbara

 

[chandab]

She slipped in a round pen and fell. I have an amazing QH gelding that I bought as a yearling. He's 7 now and not trained.

I also, have a QH mare that is now 23 that was last ridden in 1998. She is retired and living the good life.

Glad to know I'm not alone, I have a wonder AQHA gelding that is way past the age of should have been trained, he was born here, some of it is life getting in the way, but some of it is just me.

 

[chandab]

I have decided to sign my youngest daughter up for riding lessons. I think if I am not the person telling her to work her horse through a rough spot, I won't feel so nervous. My husband doesn't understand why we're paying for lessons when I have the experience and a horse she can ride. But that's okay - I understand why.

Thanks again for sharing!

Barbara

When I took lessons in high school, my instructor had two kids and both were in lessons with a different instructor; she felt most kids would learn better if it wasn't mom or dad telling them what to do (they get enough of that at home).

 

[LindaL]

I am the same way. I got my 1st pony when I was nine and had big horses pretty much all the time until I sold my last one in 2000. I was pretty much fearless on a horse. A few years ago a friend of mine had bought a big horse at the barn we were boarding at and asked if i wanted to ride him bareback...I NEVER had a problem riding bareback before in fact I usually did ride with no saddle in the past, so I said OK. When I got on his back, it felt like I had never ridden before in my life, was unsteady and didn't ride long at all! It was such a foreign feeling to me to feel that way and now I "doubt" my ability to ride.

I still say that someday I want a riding horse again, but that feeling has interfered with my actually getting a big horse and wonder if I ever will get another.

 

[CKC]

There is hope though...... I figure I have some years to work out the nerves after seeing a 65 year old ride in show jumping at the Olympics.

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

Yup, I haven't ridden in over seven years. When my Arabian died in 2001, I just didn't feel comfortable on other horses. I had a big Pinto, sold him to my friend. Also had a gorgeous TWH mare, but she was HUGE and greenbroke and I just didn't feel comfortable on her at all. Not HER fault her owner was a weenie. I sold her to a trail riding lady, as she was so wasted here. We just have Minis and ponies now, the last biggie passed away last year.

Even the littles scare me sometimes, though! I brought my ASPC/AMHR gelding up to my barn from the field horses this morning, and watched him shy at my dog and the first thing I thought was "I want to drive THAT??" But he was a bit unnerved from being moved, once he settles he'll do fine.

 

[2minis4us]

No : ) You are not the only one. I switched to minis from riding horses because of a couple of scary accidents. I cannot aford to get hurt ! I wanted so much to buy my granddaughter a pony but fear she might get hurt and I don't want it to be because of me ! The older I got the more fearful I became of riding, such a shame but that's the way it is.

 

[Carolyn R]

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories with me! It helps so much that I am not the only one! We all share such similar stories. I keep wondering if my daughters would have had "the horse bug" if I had pushed it more. But I was always afraid to let them ride outside the arena or do anything more daring. Of course, if I had had to stay in an arena and just ride in circles as a child, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it as much either. We were always on the trails or riding around our rural neighborhood. Maybe that's it, too. Thinking back to some of the things I did growing up and the many "close calls" I had scares me now.

I have decided to sign my youngest daughter up for riding lessons. I think if I am not the person telling her to work her horse through a rough spot, I won't feel so nervous. My husband doesn't understand why we're paying for lessons when I have the experience and a horse she can ride. But that's okay - I understand why.

Thanks again for sharing!

Barbara

Don't feel bad, either they are horse crazy and their is no stopping them, or they just don't get that into it. It doesn't much matter what the background. My kids will get on, but my daughter is 15 and at her age I was trail blazing as fast as their legs would carry me, her, she'll get on and go in a few circles and she is done. I have close to 20 nieces and nephews, and of them, their are a handful that enjoy riding, and their are two that LOVE it. They are naturals and have no fear, the funny thing is, they both grew up in suburbia type developements, not far from the country, but still very close to the malls and the cities.

I don't think I could stay out of the saddle. My tongue in cheek humor when the trainer was prepairing to break my horse was " I ride western, never cared much for english, beautiful but too much etiquette for my liking. A good head on their shoulders and a nice whoa and stop would be wonderful. I can stick my seat pretty well, but none the less I prefer not to have to come in contact with the ground if I can help it." It does go through my head that things may not end well when I first get on a new horse or a horse that has just been trained, but I usually take a deep breath and say lets do this.

 

[vickie gee]

I am 57 years old and have not ridden a horse since 2003. That was on our honeymoon and while there was much scenery on our trail ride through the mountains guided rides are just boring.

I hope to own a couple of horses one day or I will be wearing a shirt that says "will ride your horses for free."

I owned a horse as a kid and a young adult and to me there is no feeling more free than riding a horse "like the devil is chasing you."

 

[Jill]

I actually think MOST people who own full size horses on a "hobby level" (which is the vast majority of horse owners) are often intimidated or afraid of their own horses. I have been and every horse owner I have met has been at one time or another.

 

[Mona]

Well, I never had the "luxury" of coming from a horsey background. We grew up in "town", so not much horse experience for me. The extent of my childhood experiences were sitting on a pony or horse a few times as a kid on my uncle's farm is Saskathewan, or going out to a friends place that lived in the country. I did "ride" a horse there once. Bareback, and when I got on, that mare ran full speed across the pasture until she got to this little rocky/treed area that sat up a little higher in the middle of the firld. I remember hanging onto the mane as tight as I could, and kind of laying forward while the horse was running. I remember jumping down off of her as soon as she stopped, (to ensure there would not be a repeat performance! LOL) and telling her "Good girl, good girl", just happy that I was alive. She was a good girl, because she stopped long enough to allow me to get off! LOL! This was about in the mid 70's probably. I was in about grade 6 or 8 I guess...cannot remember exactly what grade though for sure.

Fast Forward to about the early '90s. We were looking for something to do "as a family", so we found a riding stable about 80 miles from here, and we would go up there for an hour's ride once a week. We did this all summer, and that was about the extent of our experience. I bought my first horse, a 17 year old 7/8 Arab mare. She could be sort of a bull-headed thing, but I trusted her. I boarded her the first Fall/Winter at the stable we rode at. I went at least once a week all winter to ride. Brought her home in the Spring sooner than expected as she had injured her shoulder there. When it was time to start riding her at just a walk again, I was on her, then walked her to the house as the kids wanted to try her. I was TERRIFIED of the kids on our horses here, and we never allowed them to go out riding during the short time we had horses. Anyway, I went to get back on, not thinking about the cinch needing to be tightened, the saddle slipped, and rather than getting off, I tried to slide it bac over with my weight of the other foot, but she bucked me off. Strangely, even after that, she was the only horse I ever trusted. I knew it was not her fault, and I didn't think she would deliberately hurt me.

Since she was here, we needed another horse for riding. While looking (and buying) we found ourselves on a couple bad "runaways", and that shook my confidence so bad!! Then, in 1994, I found that Miniature Horses existed, and went with that, selling our big horses. Had a couple of driving horses over the years, but was never the same, and every Spring, I would get this strong urge on those nice days, to be out on a horse.

Over the years following, we had ridden "trail horses" at a dude ranch type thing twice. In 2010 when I went on my weight loss kick, I started walking. I would be out walking, looking at the wide area cleared out beneath the power lines, thinking what a good, safe place that would give me to ride, and the wheels started turning!! That weight loss venture ended up costing us thousands upon thousands of dollars, going through 8 horses to get 3 good ones! It was a long, hard process getting some trustworthy ones, but I have my mare now, that was one of the first two to come that Spring in 2010. She was to be my husband's horse, but I claimed her. She is my security blanket. I trust her and feel safe on her. Any other horse, I am a shaking bag of nerves, but I have built my confidence on her, and in her. I take her out riding by ourselves. I hate to go alone, but often I am here alone and if I want to go, I have to go alone. I don't take her through long trails alone, because I am scared of bears, but we do ride down the roads and highways and she does not mind gravel trucks or anything. She is not 100% spookproof, I don't think ANY horse is, BUT, when she "spooks", she does it pretty much in place. She never bolts or turns around or rears or anything. She faces it head on, and takes her time and looks at it, and trusts in me too I guess, to know that I won't let it hurt her. She takes great care of her "mama". She is NOT a deadhead, but she is a gaited horse and has a nice running walk gait, and this super little rocking chair canter. She is so comfy!! Anyway, just had to share my story, since it was kind of backwards, with me not coming from a horsie background, yet now having a dependable girl to go out and have a nice relaxing ride on.

I just cannot even begin to explain the feeling of satisfaction it gives me to be able to just get up and go out for a ride whenever I want to!

Anf for those of us "older" people that have lost some confidence along the way, I want to share this great website link with you. http://www.positivelyriding.com/OlderRiders.html It's a great site with lots of helpful information and is a real confidence boosting site!

This is my "Pride and Joy" here..."Cheyenne"

and this is Chris's gelding, "Whitey", who also takes super great care of him!

 

[Shari]

No, you are not the only one.

Have been riding, training, working at private barns, working on rent strings, even teaching on some level, since I was 5 years old. Now I just work with and enjoy my own.

Rode 35 years before my first major accident. And that happened because I listen to other people about tack...and I soooo knew better.

Now, I have my brave moments and other's... I say to myself, why am I still riding? I only ride on my brave days... some day it is just a ride in the round pen and other days, I go out for a longer ride. And I sooo love riding the Power Tolt, with my Icelandics!!

Am in no way afraid of my horses, because I have trained them. I however, no longer ride horse's I haven't trained.

I just can't seem to quit though.

But once these Icelandic's are to old to ride, I doubt I will keep riding. Should be at least 15 more years of riding... I hope anyway.

So, I ride with a Helmet and because I can't chance breaking my back in another fall, I wear a Charles Owen Beta 3/ASTM rated Safety Vest.

It does take some getting used too, and because I am an odd size, I had to buy custom..... but it allows me to keep on riding.

Vests, have to fit properly.

You have to do what feels right for you. ;O)

(Beautiful Horse's Mona!!)

This is Dyfra and I in the round pen. Helmet, strap has since been tightened. And you can see me wearing my Safety Vest. Dyfra is super wide bodied and the perfect bareback horse.

And this is Stjarna... she is a full hand taller than Dyfra, believe it or not.

I do ride nicely gaited, super smooth, short horses.

Couldn't ride anything that Trots any more.

 

[CharlesFamily]

Thank you all for sharing your stories and experiences! It helps to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. It's just frustrating when it was just second nature to me to ride. And I never imagined that I would be scared for my kids to ride. I was thrilled when I had two little girls because I just knew they were going to be horse crazy like me and we would happily ride off into the sunset together....but that didn't happen.

But I'm putting my youngest in lessons - that way I can just close my eyes and let her trainer push her through the tough spots instead of wanting to tell her to just get down. She did ride our gelding the other night. She's 10 now and because she is bigger, he doesn't push her around as much and listens better. She did a great job walking and trotting him. She said she wasn't ready to try a lope, but she has wanted to ride every evening this week - so she might be my horsey girl after all in spite of me!

Barbara