AAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Fred]

My daughter gave birth to a little girl last thursday. This should be an exciting time as this is my first grandchild. However, as of now I am so done with her. The problem has been ongoing with her for the past year and a half. She lives with her boyfriend [fine its her life] but treats me like crap. Actually crap would be treated better. Let me explain, she had a baby shower the beginning of march of which I was invited along with my other two girls. The older one [Kim] works ,she got time off to go and the younger one [Court] is always with me anyway. Kim had to work that morning so I picked her up and off we went, we were running a little behind so I didn't have time to get directions on mapquest so I called her on the cell phone for directions. Kim wrote the directions down and we followed them. SHE GAVE US THE WRONG DIRECTIONS. I wouldn't be upset about that but SHE LIVES RIGHT IN THE AREA! Kim said something jokingly to her and so did I as it REALLY made us late but all we got was a dirty look. Then she proceeds to introduce us like "Oh by the way everybody this is my mother". She totally blew off her two sisters and says while she is opening gifts "If I don't say who its from its from "them"" meaning us. It's eighty miles one way to visit her and I work six sometimes seven days a week. She doesn't work and has a heck of a lot more time to visit than I do. Thats not the kicker though. She has called and spoken to her friends and her grandmother since the baby was born and hasn't spoken to her sisters or I at all. She had the boyfriend call me. I was on the road when she had the baby and didn't get home until 2:00 a.m. sunday. I know for an absolute fact that her girlfriend was called first and she called her in person. I have NEVER in my life treated ANYONE so rotten and as of now I will not deal with her. You have to understand there is a lot more to this than I have written lets just say the next time she needs a safe place to land it won't be here

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Oh Linda, I do know and I am so very sorry, more so for the wee grandchild who may never know what a wonderful Gramma she has. You have my support and love and respect nonetheless.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I am sure it is very hurtful and you have more going on in the relationship to make you angry.. but dont close the door just yet you have a grandchild that sounds like will need you and you will only be punishing her and yourself

hopefully being a mom herself will bring your daughter around

 

[Fred]

Lisa, you don't understand. This one will use the little one to get at me, thats how she is. I don't intend to let that door open. Thats why it is so hurtful. Believe me there is a lot more going on than you realize. I absolutely adore kids and she knows it. She is back to her old nasty teenage years self and I just can't do it again.

 

[capall beag]

Oh Linda, I am so sorry!

I am sad for you and your lovely girls Kim and Courtney........how sad.

This should be a wonderful, exciting time and how upsetting to have it all tainted.

I do hope things will improve.

I must say I always adored my Mother, even when she drives me crazy! :lol: BUT now that I am a Mother myself I respect her much more! It is hard work being a Mother

: Perhaps in time she will realise how important it is to be good to you Mum!

Thinking of you!

 

[coopermini]

Linda,

I can can't imagine what you are going through. Hopefully some day she will see the light. We know a couple stituations similar near us and can not believe some of the crap these kids are pulling and putting parents through.

Keeping you and the girls in our thoughts

Mark

 

[nootka]

I sure know how it hurts to have our loved ones/relatives not act "how they should" or at least decent, even.

I'm sorry for the little one in the middle.

I lost my neice a few years ago (to a conscious decision to cut the ties) when my sister finally got too "out there" and I knew how bad it really could get. I feel badly, but my family comes first and I have to protect them from her evil.

I am sorry for all you're going through. I hope she smartens up. I do.

((((hugs))))

Liz M.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Linda you must follow your heart on this one.

Shutting the door before she gets to it may be the wake up call she needs and may well turn her around.

If that means missing out on the first year or so of your granddaughters life, so be it.

Stand firm and follow your instincts, she is your child, you can never completely disown her but if you know she is going to be manipulative on this it is better to stand back and save yourself the heartache, I think!!

 

[Steph_D]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. At least you realize that there's a problem and you're doing something about it. My SIL does this all the time to my husband's parents and they do whatever they can to please her. They've nearly cut all ties to us and our children, only because they don't have the time since it's all being spent with her and her children. My MIL just had knee surgery and SIL isn't lifting a finger to help around the house (she moved back in with her parents when hubby found out she was cheating and kicked her out several years ago). But she's always got a great reason for doing what she does. I'm not angry anymore, just sad :no:

I pray that things work out for y'all and you get to spend some time with that precious grandbaby without being manipulated.

 

[Marty]

Linda, Linda, Linda, our wonderful, illustrious, resident farrier! I'm sorry you are hurting so badly! When I was young, I went through a few years where, let's just say that my mom and I weren't best friends. I was so stupid. Young, and just plain stupid; just trying to be independent and carve out my own nitch in this world. I don't know why I choose not to have a relationship with her back then, but I was off discovering my own life. Eventually things changed, and one day I woke up thinking that I have to spend time with my mom. I realized then that "Mom's were people too!" And super good people! Then, I devoted a large part of me to her. Maybe this is the same type of thing that will happen one day with your daughter, especially now since she became a mom. I'm counting on her to renew her feelings towards you, once she gets her feelings grounded. This baby can very well be a bridge over troubled waters.

No matter how high I build that wall of protection from hurt around me, there's a part of my heart that still can be penetrated.

 

[shane]

this is such a hard one

in one way i totally understand my sister was and is a complete !"£$ and my mum ended up having to let her go on with her life, she used to wind my mum up for an argument, and was very cruel, yet on the other hand, i have lost two children and , i would hope apon hope that i could stay friends with them no matter what, but i do understand...... {{{hugs}}}}}

 

[Mercysmom]

Hi Linda:

Hope she wakes up and comes around for you without being manipulative...if prayers can save our horses on this board, I am sure we can pull it off for you!

:

I know this was very frustrating for you and you are in my thoughts.

On a much lighter note, after your visit on Saturday, I got Enterprise to hold up her left hoof for me today for three seconds while she was eating and I can touch and hold both hind legs near her fetlock without her kicking at me but she still squirms. I am hoping next trim she is more of a lady for you and minds her manners - we are working on that for you.

Good warning about those unpredictable yearlings... Weatherly decided she looks more like the Busch beer horse from the 80's than Enterprise does and was practicing her rearing when I was trying to walk her...

:. My bones are still intact and I let her watch Nefertiti and Enterprise go for their walks... when I walked her later that afternoon, we made it around the pond and back without any squealing, rearing, bucking or other nonsense and no chain on the nose!

There's hope for us all!

Denise

Silversong Farm

 

[gatorbait4sure]

Linda, My Dear...........I KNOW these are trying times but keep your heart open just in case. Miracles do happen you know.............She'll come around. It may take years but she will...she ONLY has ONE Mother!

She will change and realize how silly she was, and you need to be there for her to return to, for YOU! (and that grandbaby! )

Bring pictures when you come again!

Dru

 

[Fred]

Thanks for the support everyone. The girls and I have still not heard a word from her. You have to understand I was a single parent for the first eight years of her life and even back then she was very manipulative. This is just the last straw. When the boyfriend tossed her out on her butt, mom had to pick up the pieces. I will not do that again. This kid has cost me so much in heartache, worry, and aggravation not to mention many thousands of dollars. I have to keep my distance because I just can't deal with her anymore and anyone who knows me I can deal with a lot. My husband does not even know the extent of the things she pulled while she lived at home. Linda

 

[cast]

Look Linda I know what your going thru, I am already there where you don't want to be. Yes I do agree with you of her using the kid to get to you and use the kid for getting what she wants any time she wants and if she can not get to you then dad or sisters will be bait for her. I know this as you know my situation with my courtney but the difference here is at least my granddaughter is old enough to do for herself some. My heart goes out to you because this will only make things tougher on you because your first grandchild is something you wait for with great joy and all that has been taken away from you and that is something that is hard to miss. I'm sorry for what is happening to you but the good side for you is that you have to great kids at home and as they get older and have children ( lets not rush them) you will be able to enjoy them and maybe you will be able to do that mother and daughter thing at the mall with the girls and grandkids, you never know. Talk to you when you come down in a couple of weeks to do the horses again, Dave.

 

[Miniv]

I do hope that Marty and others are right.......that motherhood will make your daughter grow-up.

My dad told me once that we don't pick our families, but we can always pick our friends who can often be even closer than family. That has sure proven to be correct.

MA

 

[dreamlandnh]

I just read this. I'm so sorry Linda...you have talked to me a bit and my heart goes out to you. I have seen you with kids and can tell you love them all. I'm sure that this is very hard for you.

I'm a young mother compared to many and can't offer much insight there. Growing up I thought my parents knew nothing...now that I'm a mom I cherish my parents help/words/advise.

My thoughts are with you

Karen

 

[bfogg]

Sorry to see you go thru this Linda, we are going thru a similiar patch with our youngest who at 41 has decided we are to blame for:

1.Her weight( I must drive the 30 miles stretch at night and stuff her face)

2. That she has no friends.(Could it possibly be her nasty sarcastic personality)?

3. Or any other problem she has in her life.

One thing I am to blame for is spoiling her rotten and I am now reaping the benefits.

Hopefully they will both see the light before we are six feet under.

Bon

 

[jdomep]

I am so sorry

I can't imagine not talking to my mom daily - I often call just to say I love you

:

I have a wonderful Aunt Linda - who is the reason for my love for horses - She and my uncle had 1 daughter who is a "bad egg" for lack of a better term...She was so mean and nasty to her mom - stole money from our grandmother the day she died :no: Had 3 pregnancies before 18 (kept 1 aborted 2 - late term) She is now 38 has 4 kids, is a grandmother - never been married and 10 years ago or so her mother just had to let her go - They have not spoken in a long while and when my aunt and I speak "P" is never brought up. I have never met a more unfeeling person in my life - it is all so sad...

And again I am sorry she is putting you through this - I hope she can mend this fence before it is too late. You gotta do - what you gotta do and stick to your guns!

 

[Diana]

First off congradulations on your new grand child. Secondly, Linda, I don't know what I would do if I don't have a grand child fix at least twice a week. I know how you must feel as when I was in the UK for 6 months I had awful grand children withdrawal. I was so very happy when Karen and Lizzie came for the week visit. Please keep your heart open but your guard up. Not to hold you new grand child is got to be a very very tough thing to handle. Kim and Court must be having an awful time not seeing their little niece also. Hugs and kisses to all.