Replying to the topic about hormone replacement reminded me that the 7th anniversary of my ovarian cancer surgery is coming up on 7/4. Luckily for me, I survived the "silent killer" frankly everyone knows someone that has had it, none seem to still be alive. I am not sure what reason I am still here, but I do try to make it my goal to let other woman know about it. Many of the old timers on the forum know my story, but as there are so many new names everyday, I want to tell you, warn you of what can happen
Everyone hears about breast cancer every day. We see the pink ribbons, the walks that folks do to bring awareness, the millions of dollars that are raised for it. Most of the time if you have breast cancer, you can find it by noticing a lump or change in your breast. For ovarian cancer, the symptoms, bloating, gas, feeling full, etc are all things that we woman deal with daily in our normal lives. Frankly I dont remember having any of those. All I remember is going to the little country doctors because I had a back ache, not a normal back ache, one like a kidney infection feels like, sharp shooting pains in my lower kidney area. The doctor checked for a kidney infection...nothing, said I pulled a muscle in my back & I went home with pain meds. I had 60 minis back then, a very busy farm with stallions at stud, foaling out for myself & others I did all the work alone, so I was very strong, very fit, & yeah, I could have pulled a muscle with the horses or the 90# bales of hay. The next day I felt fine, we hosted a workshop for the local mini club at the farm, but Monday morning I almost passed out from the pain. I couldnt even stand up straight!! I went to a second doctor at another practice. My normal doctor at that practice was out, so I saw an associate. He did a full pelvic exam & pap smear because I hadnt had one in two years...not because of the pain. I dont usually go to this practice because I didnt have insurance & they had a lab next door, if you have a hang nail you are always sent for blood & xrays, but I was in such agony I was willing to do the testing. It was the day before the 4th of July, they were closing early & he was in a hurry to get home & so I left with another muscle pull diagnosis & more pain pills which I didnt fill. I hadnt even taken the samples the first doctor gave me. I went right home to bed. I woke up at 5am the next day & found I couldnt stand up straight from the pain. I knew it wasnt a back problem, I felt so bad I told my husband I was dying. I cant explain the way I felt, it was pain like i had never had, coupled with just a wierd feeling. I went to the emergency room & frankly I dont remember much other than whispered words of " a mass" & I woke up 3 days later in ICU with tubes in both ends. I had 22cm tumors in both ovaries, one had twisted from the weight & I was in septic shock, they said I could have died at any minute. I had a hysto, biopsies on all internal organs & vessels & lymph nodes. They were all clean. I had more cancer in me than they had every seen in someone my age(39) & the fact that it didnt spread was a miracle. I laid in bed for 6 weeks afterwards thinking over my life & made drastic changes. I realized that there was more to life than my horses ( I remembered the many times of making plans with my kids only to cancel because of the horses, never going on vacation anywhere except the shows or nationals, never leaving the house for even a few minutes during foaling season which was months & months) & told my husband I wanted to sell the farm & move closer to town, travel & spend more time as a family. The hormone loss was incredible, I cried all the time which was so scarey to everyone that knew me as being so strong. I was a different person afterwards, no memory, so emotional!!
But that is my story. I went through monthly checkups, blood tests, cat scans, sonograms for many years, tapering off to every two years now. My life has changed so much for the better. After 30+ years of having horses in my life, I now am horseless but run a non-profit veterinary clinic & Shelter. My family is very close. I have traveled all over the world & even now take 3 cruises or vacations a year. But part of my story is the fact that I can be everyone of you. The pap test I had the day before was NEGATIVE. The pelvic exam I had the day before was NEGATIVE. Ok, I was in terrible pain & my muscles were very guarded, but come on!!! I was in the best shape in my life. I dont know why I got it. Maybe because I couldnt have children even with the help of fertility drugs. Maybe I had a bad gene? But ladies, it is a silent killer!! they say by the time you know you have it it is too late. Very very few people survive ovarian cancer. Make sure you talk with your doctor about any sort of testing he/she feels can screen for it, each will have a different opinion. If you do have bloating, gas, indisgestion make sure you tell them, dont ignore it. Dont be scared, but be aware!!!! Be proactive in all of your health needs. Dont let them brush you off if you feel like something is wrong!! So while America celebrates our liberty on the 4th we also celebrate my new life on that day!
Everyone hears about breast cancer every day. We see the pink ribbons, the walks that folks do to bring awareness, the millions of dollars that are raised for it. Most of the time if you have breast cancer, you can find it by noticing a lump or change in your breast. For ovarian cancer, the symptoms, bloating, gas, feeling full, etc are all things that we woman deal with daily in our normal lives. Frankly I dont remember having any of those. All I remember is going to the little country doctors because I had a back ache, not a normal back ache, one like a kidney infection feels like, sharp shooting pains in my lower kidney area. The doctor checked for a kidney infection...nothing, said I pulled a muscle in my back & I went home with pain meds. I had 60 minis back then, a very busy farm with stallions at stud, foaling out for myself & others I did all the work alone, so I was very strong, very fit, & yeah, I could have pulled a muscle with the horses or the 90# bales of hay. The next day I felt fine, we hosted a workshop for the local mini club at the farm, but Monday morning I almost passed out from the pain. I couldnt even stand up straight!! I went to a second doctor at another practice. My normal doctor at that practice was out, so I saw an associate. He did a full pelvic exam & pap smear because I hadnt had one in two years...not because of the pain. I dont usually go to this practice because I didnt have insurance & they had a lab next door, if you have a hang nail you are always sent for blood & xrays, but I was in such agony I was willing to do the testing. It was the day before the 4th of July, they were closing early & he was in a hurry to get home & so I left with another muscle pull diagnosis & more pain pills which I didnt fill. I hadnt even taken the samples the first doctor gave me. I went right home to bed. I woke up at 5am the next day & found I couldnt stand up straight from the pain. I knew it wasnt a back problem, I felt so bad I told my husband I was dying. I cant explain the way I felt, it was pain like i had never had, coupled with just a wierd feeling. I went to the emergency room & frankly I dont remember much other than whispered words of " a mass" & I woke up 3 days later in ICU with tubes in both ends. I had 22cm tumors in both ovaries, one had twisted from the weight & I was in septic shock, they said I could have died at any minute. I had a hysto, biopsies on all internal organs & vessels & lymph nodes. They were all clean. I had more cancer in me than they had every seen in someone my age(39) & the fact that it didnt spread was a miracle. I laid in bed for 6 weeks afterwards thinking over my life & made drastic changes. I realized that there was more to life than my horses ( I remembered the many times of making plans with my kids only to cancel because of the horses, never going on vacation anywhere except the shows or nationals, never leaving the house for even a few minutes during foaling season which was months & months) & told my husband I wanted to sell the farm & move closer to town, travel & spend more time as a family. The hormone loss was incredible, I cried all the time which was so scarey to everyone that knew me as being so strong. I was a different person afterwards, no memory, so emotional!!
But that is my story. I went through monthly checkups, blood tests, cat scans, sonograms for many years, tapering off to every two years now. My life has changed so much for the better. After 30+ years of having horses in my life, I now am horseless but run a non-profit veterinary clinic & Shelter. My family is very close. I have traveled all over the world & even now take 3 cruises or vacations a year. But part of my story is the fact that I can be everyone of you. The pap test I had the day before was NEGATIVE. The pelvic exam I had the day before was NEGATIVE. Ok, I was in terrible pain & my muscles were very guarded, but come on!!! I was in the best shape in my life. I dont know why I got it. Maybe because I couldnt have children even with the help of fertility drugs. Maybe I had a bad gene? But ladies, it is a silent killer!! they say by the time you know you have it it is too late. Very very few people survive ovarian cancer. Make sure you talk with your doctor about any sort of testing he/she feels can screen for it, each will have a different opinion. If you do have bloating, gas, indisgestion make sure you tell them, dont ignore it. Dont be scared, but be aware!!!! Be proactive in all of your health needs. Dont let them brush you off if you feel like something is wrong!! So while America celebrates our liberty on the 4th we also celebrate my new life on that day!
