Thanks guys!
Yes, it is a HUGE red flag for me, especially when she would not/ could not tell me exactly how much she cut his feed. Her reasoning was that he is "gaining weight, filling out, and now he is on their pasture" DUH they are also driving him and the kids playing with him.... I didn't have time for that, if anything I would have UPPED his feed before putting him into a driving program where he is getting driven more than twice a week!
The problem is, it is a 4 hour drive, and I cannot make it up for a few more weeks. My mom had minor surgery but does not feel up to driving 8 hours in one day just yet and I work full time and can't get time off at the same time as my brother so I can't even get HIM to drive me until we both move to the city in 3 weeks.
But don't worry, everything is signed and sealed and I WILL NOT hesitate to trailer him home if need be... we didn't rip the fence out yet just for these reasons! I will be in touch with her today to find out EXACTLY what and when he is being fed, how much turnout he is getting, if the kids are wearing helmets, if the 9 year old is always supervised, and which stall he is in at their barn. (they split a 10X10 and I told them no, 5 foot by 10 was toooo narrow, so theyclaim their own horses are using them as tied stalls). She seems to get offended any time that I offer advice. I DO NOT CARE if she has had horses for the past 20 years, I have owned THIS horse since he was 9 months old, not to mention I OWN THIS HORSE NOW! I think I know how to care for him. I have a feeling they cut his feed just because they had the need to mess with SOMETHING and make him feel more like they had a hand in things. He wasn't getting that much if you ask me. He was on 3 cups of beet pulp and about 6 of pellets per day (split into 2 feeds) with pretty much ad-lib hay, no grazing. Now I am worried he will not continue to gain, and he had JUST started to put the weight back onto his shoulders- The harness still makes a straight line down his sides from the back saddle to his underbelly, it should round out. Not to mention I'm using the harness pad that i haven't had to use since I first trained him.
I really really want to give these people a chance, because I DO NOT have other options that are suitable right now! BUT I NEED someone who can follow instruction without being upset that I'm undermining their experience. HELP! How can I fix this problem quick before I end up so mad with the situation that I have to haul him home with no place to keep him for thre winter?