Why do you think weight becomes important

[Miss_Fortune]

This topic made me think of the new dove comercials. I applaud what they are doing. Useing models that arent "ideal". I like seeing women on tv that arent tall, skinny, & blonde. I personally think I could loss a few pounds but dont stress over it. Mostly they are just vanity pounds.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

Interesting topic.. I think most men especially white men (sorry) are programmed to think that they need to like women who are thin and that only thin women are sexy- I am not sure if this is even how half of them truly feel or if they know how they truly feel only know what they see and what is crammed down there throats so to speak. I think personally it comes from them being insecure and needing that "trophy" on there side.

Other cultures tend to be a bit more relaxed about weight and see the beauty in a full figured woman.

All i can say is when first and 2nd graders are worried about weight.. some of that coming from there daddy's comments well it is time we start teaching our boys a bit differently

 

[Pepipony]

She did say something that has stuck in my mind. Be the woman your husband WANTS to come home to.

What about 'be the man your wife wants to come home to' ?

Nothing is sexier than a guy, who comes home from a full 8 hr day and thinks nothing more than slugging down some beers, waiting for dinner to be served and plopping themselves on the lazy boy ( fitting name anyhow LOL) Meanwhile the wife , who has also put in 8 hrs then has to clean the house, mind the kids, mind the hubby and then , maybe, take a break before bed. Oh yes, take me now studly

Guess its just a Yankee vs southern thing. But these men down here drive me NUTS w/how they treat their women. People comment about how gracious southern women are, well of course they are, if they werent they would have all been locked up , for killing their hubbies, and no kids would have resulted

 

[susanne]

I really like those fat men who think they can criticize any woman who isn't size 7...

...like my brother-in-law...short, fat, balding, chain-smoking, obnoxious, bigoted, gripey (this is not just my opinion...Keith agrees, and all of our single women friends have pleaded with us to never try to fix them up with him)

...and yet he makes disparaging comments about any woman who is more than 10 lbs overweight, and firmly believes he deserves a nubile 18-year-old. (Actually, he likes them younger than that -- he is thoroughly disgusting).

Their mother always says, "If he'd only meet a nice girl to take care of him, he'd be so much happier..." I don't even bother saying that any nice girl would cross the street if she saw him coming...

Remember "Highlights Magazine" for kids -- Goofus and Gallant? Stan is Goofus, while Keith (my husband) is Gallant.

Keith has always said he prefers woman with some meat on their bones (and since he always tells me who he thinks is cute, I believe him). He insists that I'm not overweight (although I am) and that he just wants me to be healthy.

I guess I chose the right brother...

 

[runamuk]

WOW this really goes to show how different men and women are.......no wonder I prefer men as friends...they are so much simpler.......they say what pop's into their head at any given moment...maybe not always appropriate but honest

....my father is famous for getting into and out of relationships more often than he changes clothes........yet I don't think I have ever heard him say something intentionally hurtful (admittedly sleeping around is hurtful but hey if you asked me first I'd tell ya not to date him

)....my husband and I tease each other but it is never meant to harm the other.......my hubby freely admit's he likes redheads (hence hairdye) and I freely admit I like Brad Pitt

Personally I think many women are far more shallow than most men...otherwise why oh why would they care so much about their looks? And worry about who looks like what.....love those catty conversations that include "she's sure put on the lbs." or "man she has aged gracefully NOT" "did you see her shoes"........all of this nonsense is probably the reason I am such a recluse and prefer to just watch people

and Jill love your answer

 

[Bess Kelly]

When I had a husband, I was far more concerned about "looking good".......in every way. It thrilled ME to be attractive to him. Now, we both appreciated one another and had a wonderful life together

He was a handsome man and kept himself well.

He never had to say anything about weight (I've always been lucky to be naturally more on the thin side) but, he did comment that I was getting a "quarter horse hip" one day

So, I worked on my exercise routine.

He was several years older than I and we spoke openly about the "aging body" things. I guess what I'm saying is that communication is sometimes key in being able to work through these things. While he may not like extra weight on you, lets decide what "extra" amounts to. 10-15 # is far different from 60-75#. Some men just are not able to be sensitive to how that makes a woman feel about herself and how best to approach and help her through these issues.

For me, personally, it would be difficult for me to accept MYSELF if I gained lots of weight. I think that the comments could be cutting because it brings us to realize what we already know..........it isn't healthy and we don't like it ourselves.

 

[Jenn]

My husband tells me all the time how beautiful/pretty/attractive/sexy I am ... which is really something, since I'm super fat and 18 weeks pregnant on top of that!

I'm actually much happier with my body as a fat girl than I was when I was the sexiest little thing you ever did see. I enjoy being valued for my intellect rather than my looks. I've been arm candy and eye candy; I'd rather be brain candy. It's MUCH more fulfilling.

Besides, when I want to look good, I can look GOOD. Just because you're plus size doesn't mean you can't look like a goddess and turn heads.

These days, though, I've taken to wearing whatever still fits while I still can and skipping the make up in the mornings - I'm just too ill a lot of mornings to put it on, and/or I'd rather sleep in the extra 15 minutes.

And yet, he still loves me!

 

[Jenn]

My husband tells me all the time how beautiful/pretty/attractive/sexy I am ... which is really something, since I'm super fat and 18 weeks pregnant on top of that!

I'm actually much happier with my body as a fat girl than I was when I was the sexiest little thing you ever did see. I enjoy being valued for my intellect rather than my looks. I've been arm candy and eye candy; I'd rather be brain candy. It's MUCH more fulfilling.

Besides, when I want to look good, I can look GOOD. Just because you're plus size doesn't mean you can't look like a goddess and turn heads.

These days, though, I've taken to wearing whatever still fits while I still can and skipping the make up in the mornings - I'm just too ill a lot of mornings to put it on, and/or I'd rather sleep in the extra 15 minutes.

And yet, he still loves me!

 

[chandab]

I don't know anyone who lusts after Danny Devito.

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Just Rhea Pearlman, his wife of many years. (Carla from Cheers)

 

[lilhorseladie]

I don't know anyone who lusts after Danny Devito.

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Just Rhea Pearlman, his wife of many years. (Carla from Cheers)

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Ironically enough she is probably about 98 lbs....

 

[minisaremighty]

She did say something that has stuck in my mind. Be the woman your husband WANTS to come home to.

What about 'be the man your wife wants to come home to' ?

Nothing is sexier than a guy, who comes home from a full 8 hr day and thinks nothing more than slugging down some beers, waiting for dinner to be served and plopping themselves on the lazy boy ( fitting name anyhow LOL) Meanwhile the wife , who has also put in 8 hrs then has to clean the house, mind the kids, mind the hubby and then , maybe, take a break before bed. Oh yes, take me now studly

Guess its just a Yankee vs southern thing. But these men down here drive me NUTS w/how they treat their women. People comment about how gracious southern women are, well of course they are, if they werent they would have all been locked up , for killing their hubbies, and no kids would have resulted

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LOL! Guess I'm lucky. My husband is the man I would want to come home too. No beer drinking here and we don't own a lazy boy! Years ago, we had one and he WOULD plop down when he got home from a hard day at work. After about three months of that I got rid of it! LOL! He's so mutli-faceted and intelligent and just as attractive to me as ever. Heck, even more so I think now.

 

[Pepipony]

MInis, I'm pretty lucky too. He does drive me up the wall at times, but in the grand scheme I'm still lucky. Now if I can just get through his 'MENopause' I'll be even luckier LOL

Most of my comments were based on what friends go through. Truly cant believe that men can be like that. I think I notice it more because of growing up a Yankee ( live in TX now) and we see things differently.

 

[Laura]

I tell you though it bothers me how men aka my husband! can't understand that your body changes!! As mentioned I have had 3 babies all were breastfed! All I will say is the wrapper is similar but the present inside looks different!

 

well my hubby seems confused why this would be!! He got very used to my nursing figure and now seems a tad disappointed, you get my drift!!

This bothers me because there is nothing I can or would do about it and I have 3 beautiful healthy babies to show for it and thats reality but I think so many images of women show otherwise that perhaps some'men' get confused!!

 

My hubby is not a jerk about it but I know what he is thinking, "Where did they go??"

Oh men, what are we going to do with them!!

 

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I've only nursed one child....so far

Since she nursed for almost 3 years, I think I should really qualify as a multiple number nursing Mom though

Things do change.

I'll tell you though. Bikes, blues & BBQ was here last weekend (300,000 bikes and 500,000 bikers in a town of 60,000!! and I thought the HECK with it. I put on a Fredricks black bustier, jeans and one of Steve's dress shirts unbuttoned over it and no one seemed to think the girls had nursed too long or too many babies

At 36, I'm happier and more comfortable in my body than ever.

I was much heavier than I am now when I got PG with Mia. I've seemed to have hit my natural weight right now. It's a bit more than I like, but I seem to only go a few pounds more or MAYBE 10 less if I'm really careful what I eat. I'm not BIG, but I'm not that little 120 lb-er I was 10 years ago either. C'est la vie....

Steve still seems surprised when I remind him how much I weight just before Mia was born...I was BIG. I know he likes my weight now just fine

 

[Laura]

Interesting topic.. I think most men especially white men (sorry) are programmed to think that they need to like women who are thin and that only thin women are sexy- I am not sure if this is even how half of them truly feel or if they know how they truly feel only know what they see and what is crammed down there throats so to speak. I think personally it comes from them being insecure and needing that "trophy" on there side.Other cultures tend to be a bit more relaxed about weight and see the beauty in a full figured woman.

All i can say is when first and 2nd graders are worried about weight.. some of that coming from there daddy's comments well it is time we start teaching our boys a bit differently

 

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I agree with you 100% Lisa.

 

[Marty]

When I began to gain weight, my husband, mother, and my friends all had to bring it to my attention! I hadn't noticed. Who the heck has time to notice that stuff when you have one baby strapped to your tummy and another one on your back in a back pack!!!!!!!! and trying to work full time and care for a house and stable of 22 horses, give riding lessons and be riding colts for a living my gosh give me a break! You think I had to time worry about being pretty???

Eventually I noticed when I was given a gift certificate to JCPENNEY and found out that I had grown a few sizes and nothing was comfortable anymore that didn't stretch every which way.

OK OK OK so the damage has been done and I"m working on it very hard. I don't like me looking like this so I am changing it. I"ll feel better and look better. It's a win win situation.

Guess its just a Yankee vs southern thing. But these men down here drive me NUTS w/how they treat their women

Yes I agree 100%. Jerry's from Kentucky and I'm a Connecticut Yankee born and raised. "A woman's place is in the home" yep that's him. He expects the house to be clean to perfection every day and home cooked good dinners plus work my job plus do the horses and dogs and kids everynight and if it's not too good then he says "well what did you do all day long, nothing?" grrrrrrr

And then he likes to compare his work to mine and that really gets me going. Atleast when his work day is over it's over and he's done and yes he does plop down in his chair. He's a plopper. I'm still washing dishes and clothes at midnight. He treats me good though, can't complain at all and surely woudn't want to trade him. He's a pretty nice guy I think. He just still doesn't talk much. Just grunts mostly.

 

[Sandy S.]

The Womans Prayer Says IT ALL!!!

[SIZE=14pt]DEAR LORD, I PRAY FOR:[/SIZE]

WISDOM, TO UNDERSTAND A MAN.

LOVE, TO FORGIVE HIM AND;

PATIENCE, FOR HIS MOODS.

BECAUSE, LORD, IF I PRAY FOR STRENGTH

I'LL JUST BEAT HIM TO DEATH

 

[Pepipony]

The Womans Prayer Says IT ALL!!!
[SIZE=14pt]DEAR LORD, I PRAY FOR:[/SIZE]

WISDOM, TO UNDERSTAND A MAN.

LOVE, TO FORGIVE HIM AND;

PATIENCE, FOR HIS MOODS.

BECAUSE, LORD, IF I PRAY FOR STRENGTH

I'LL JUST BEAT HIM TO DEATH

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[Mercysmom]

On that same vein, women look at men the same way. There's a reason why we all lust after Brad Pitt - we're subconsciously looking for a man who would be a good hunter and provider and his physique SCREAMS "successful hunter!" I don't know anyone who lusts after Danny Devito.

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I love it! Never realized we might be looking at things in such an animal way! even our horses have their preferences as to whom they will breed to and who they won't.

BUT... how many personal ads have you seen written by "some man" who likes "cooking, dining out, social drinking" and then he wants "a petite build woman". You know he probably has some body issues himself - he'd be better off with a Barbie doll or something like that.

Get real!

(Just a note - the light in my bedroom is on MY side of the bed, lest dear hubby try to find those lost testicles, I have all the power!)

Denise

Silversong Farm

 

[Hosscrazy]

No hubby here, and reason #6,852 why horses are better than husbands:

My horses ALWAYS think I look GREAT!!!

 

[susanne]

No hubby here, and reason #6,852 why horses are better than husbands:
My horses ALWAYS think I look GREAT!!! 

 

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True Liz, but those hooves tend to get in the way when you snuggle in bed...and somehow I just know Mingus would try to hog all the blankets!