Where I've been,,,,,,when your life is too much

Miniature Horse Talk Forums

Help Support Miniature Horse Talk Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.


Well-Known Member
Sep 4, 2003
Reaction score
Muncie, Indiana
Been awhile, so much has happened I had no idea it had been so long.

I do have concerns posting here, personal things, but when we need the kind of prayers and good thoughts, I know my friends here will come through, they always have and I love you all so much for that.

I had let you know my husband was ill and ended up being off work for right at 7 months. Well, he got better, went back to work, and then filed for divorce, had me served on Valentines Day, and he was here with me. I had no idea. Not only did he file, he stayed here. Almost 3 months later the judge ordered him to leave, yesterday, taking over half the contents in the house. They were things he brought into the marriage. To say I feel like a failure is an understatement. I'm sure you know of ALL the things that come with a divorce.

My dad is in the hospital, just got out of ICU for having half of his small intestines removed. The infection was the biggest problem but is doing better. He is 77 and could use your good thoughts.

My daughter is 7 months pregnant, and next Weds. they will preform a surgery on the baby, while she is carrying him/her to repair his/her kidney. They both could use your prayers.

My 15 year old son has Hydrocephalous and has a shunt. The cathader part of the shunt that is stuck into the ventrical in his brain, has caused that ventrical to collapse. They are telling me the ventrical can not be repaired. The collapse is most likely due to the fact his shunt has been replaced so many times. We have an awesome Childrens Hospital here in Indiana, but I am searching the country for a doctor/neurosurgeon who can tell me there is something they can do. Right now Christopher gets sick if he is up too long, and a major headache if he lies down too long. A shunt controls his spinal cord fluid, and with the collapse of the ventrical it is not allowing the shunt to work correctly. My son right now is by far the most important and any and all prayers, good thoughts, what ever you believe would be greatly appreciated.

Believe me, this is a small version.

The hard part for me, family and friends just don't know what to say to me any more, so they pretty much say nothing, they don't know what to do, so they do nothing. Sometimes you just need to vent, so you can make more room in your brain for the next thing. But I do have to thank Connie who has my new boy in boarding, and with Sam being with Connie, I do not have a concern about him at all, I know he will be perfectly fine. She knows of the mess here, and did not hesitate to help out. She may not even realize how big this small thing means to me.

We will get through it, there is no choice, but if you could remember us, I would appreciate it.

Thank you so much to all.
oh carolyn, you have an awful lot on your plate and i cannot imagine all of the emotions hitting you one after the other. bless your heart, to be served with divorce papers on valentine's day has to be the ultimate insult! i'm so sorry you are hurting. i knew your husband was ill, i believe it was/is kidney cancer, right? apparently, he doesn't realize how you put your heart and soul into getting him well.

you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so very sorry for everything you're going through!! My thoughts and prayers are being sent to you for the strength you will need to persevere and come out stronger on the other side. Thoughts and prayers are also being sent to your son.
I am so sorry for all that you are going through....you and your family are in my prayers.
Carolyn --

I am so sorry to read all of this news. My thoughts are with you and your family.


I wish I could say something more helpful than I'm sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.
I am so sorry for everythng you are going through. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, especially your son and grandbaby and your father.

"Hugs" to you. Please take care of you too.
Thank you all so much, most things are out of my control, so we do one day at a time. More than that is too much.

It isn't exactly my grandbaby's kidney, but the tube going out of the kidney. It is either blocked, kinked, or just did not open up, caused the fluid to stay in the kidney, enlarging it. It needs fixed before there is damage to the kidney.

For my son, he needs strength, this has all been a lot for him. He has taken on an, I don't care attitude to deal with it all, and we all know that isn't the best way.

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts, but more so, for being there.
Hey Carolyn,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Have you contacted St. Louis Children's Hospital? They are running commercials right now saying they are #7 in the nation for hospitals and #5 for something else (doctors?). I know they are pretty darn good, but I don't have any 2-legged kids, so I don't know from personal experience. St. Louis also has a Shriner's Hospital where (I believe) they don't turn anyone away regardless of their ability to pay. Shunts themselves can need repair, but I'm guessing they have checked that. I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to find help. Stay strong, but DO take time to vent, even if its to people you don't know. Heck, sometimes people who are outside your situation are the best people to vent to! I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I haven't gone through one myself, but I went through my parents and THAT was a 5 year (dad wouldn't leave the house either!!) process. It was a mess and it was horrible. Mom pulled through it, even having to take care of my sister and me. We were in 7th and 10th grade when the divorce process started, and we had both graduated when it was finally over! Mom had no one to vent to but her parents, as she wasn't allowed to have friends while married to my dad. She is a stronger person for all she went through and she is happy now. Things may look bleak now, but everything happens for a reason. Again, you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Lots of "Hugs" to you Carolyn!
So sorry to hear of all these problems, what a bummer..

I am sending prayers and (((HUGS))) to you to give you strength to get thru all this and have happiness and peace...

What a load you are carrying right now! You and your family are in my prayers.

((((HUGS)))) There is not a single thing I can say that is going to change your reality one bit but any time you need to just get it off your chest a bit, I (and I'm sure many others) will be here for you. I often wonder why everything seems to have to happen at once. It is often like that in my life as well. Try to find time to enjoy the things that you love, I think even a moment or two spent on the good parts of our lives makes dealing with the difficult parts easier to bear.
I'm so sorry for all you are going through...sending prayers for strength. ((hugs))

This all makes me sad for you your son your dad and your to be grandbaby. But you will get through it with everyones help Prayers from here of course that all will swing to the upside soon. I think all families go through things like a pendulum sometimes we are at the very lowest point and sometimes at its highest but most of the time we are somewhere in the middle. You are surely on the low side right now but take heart it wont be too long before it starts the upward swing again.
Am soo very sorry to hear about what has been happening to you. You are right...sometimes it is too much. Major <Hugs> for keeping it all together and you and your family will be in my prayers.

Is sad how people will turn away or not be there or listen to people that have things going on, or long term health issues. Sadly, know about it first hand. They are fine at first but then many will turn on a person,, even though you do not talk about it. Have had that happen a lot this last year. If you are not normal..people don't want to be around you.. afraid something will rub off on them. Is the same with family issues.

So Carolyn.. if you need someone to write too, I know you do not know me that well,, but I am here and willing to listen and talk and I will not turn away.

[email protected]
Carolyn, I'm sooooo... sorry for all the horrific things you and your family are going through. Please know that you have lots of wonderful people on this forum who care and we are all praying for miracles in your life. I thank God for supplying all your needs while bringing peace and comfort to your heart. Please stay in touch. We're just a click away.

God bless,

I am so sorry, Carolyn, for the difficulties you are facing.

I hope your son can have his shunt repaired, and I hope the grandbaby pulls through just fine.

You are amazing!!

Liz M.
Sending big hugs your way! You are definitely carrying a huge burden at this time. It is really too bad that your husband chose such a difficult time to "spring" the news on you.
There ought to be a law! I remember when you were going through the early days of his health issues. What a surprise you were in for, I am so sorry.

Sending prayers for your family members who are in need of medical care. How very frightened you must be.


Latest posts