Here are some from my collection:
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
Inside me lives a skinny girl screaming to get out but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
I am not young enough to know everything."
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. If you see a light, it's probably a freight train.
"I have not failed, I merely found 10,000 ways that won't work!" (Thomas Edison)
"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs." - Scott Adams hmmmm, breeding horses for profit fit this one?
:
"If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." - Chinese Proverb
"You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
- Mark Twain
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept it's awful gaps we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality..." by Irving Townsend