RainSong
Well-Known Member
So, how did all of you deal with being yourself after the kids were born?
I dearly love being "Nathan's Mother", and the same for being "Dave's Wife", but it feels as if that's ALL I am now. I realized it just the last couple of days, though it's been creeping up for awhile. My life is taking care of Nathan, sleep, cleaning, and occasionally cooking. On the days Dave has off, we don't usually do much- every other weekend is grocery weekend for the most part, but other then that it's mostly trying to trade off child care for a full night's sleep... after Dave gets a full night.
I don't really mind the not going out. The only time I'm comfy out and about is with Dave, our SIL (who I hardly ever talk to or see), my best friend, or my step-dad &/or mother. The last three all live in Oregon, so that's no good. I'm not much for strangers- social anxiety disorder and all.
But I don't really have even much that I do just for me. I used to collect Beanie Babies, but that takes too much time & money- haven't collected really since before 2001. I can do a few crafty things- mainly cross stitch & horse shoe dreamcatchers, but the dreamcatchers aren't really worth making unless someone else is buying one (otherwise they'd just sit around gathering dust here) and the cross stitch again takes money. I'd love to learn to quilt, but ... sewing machines = money!
I just can't quite figure out how to keep my identity as me, Charissa- and not be completely subsumed by the mom and wife aspects. Does that even make sense?
I dearly love being "Nathan's Mother", and the same for being "Dave's Wife", but it feels as if that's ALL I am now. I realized it just the last couple of days, though it's been creeping up for awhile. My life is taking care of Nathan, sleep, cleaning, and occasionally cooking. On the days Dave has off, we don't usually do much- every other weekend is grocery weekend for the most part, but other then that it's mostly trying to trade off child care for a full night's sleep... after Dave gets a full night.
I don't really mind the not going out. The only time I'm comfy out and about is with Dave, our SIL (who I hardly ever talk to or see), my best friend, or my step-dad &/or mother. The last three all live in Oregon, so that's no good. I'm not much for strangers- social anxiety disorder and all.
But I don't really have even much that I do just for me. I used to collect Beanie Babies, but that takes too much time & money- haven't collected really since before 2001. I can do a few crafty things- mainly cross stitch & horse shoe dreamcatchers, but the dreamcatchers aren't really worth making unless someone else is buying one (otherwise they'd just sit around gathering dust here) and the cross stitch again takes money. I'd love to learn to quilt, but ... sewing machines = money!
I just can't quite figure out how to keep my identity as me, Charissa- and not be completely subsumed by the mom and wife aspects. Does that even make sense?